Act One Parent Forum

1. Act One Parent Forum Preventing Sexual Abuse in our Community

2. Act One • In efforts to combat abuse toward children, Vermont State law has issued the Act One mandate. Under Act One all Vermont schools are required to provide a comprehensive health education to students including information on child sexual abuse prevention. • Child sexual abuse is a serious problem- most often committed by people we know and trust. Experts estimate that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday.

3. Why should schools take on this role? Violence of any sort is counterproductive to the educational process. Sexual violence, in particular has far-reaching negative effects that have an impact at all levels of school communities. Schools are in a unique position to help young people shape positive, healthy attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that work to prevent sexual and other forms of violence.

4. What Sexual Abuse Is: • Vermont’s child protection law defines sexual abuse as: • Any act or acts by any person involving sexual molestation or exploitation of a child including but not limited to incest, prostitution, rape, sodomy, or any lewd and lascivious conduct involving a child. • It also includes the aiding, abetting, counseling, hiring, or procuring of a child to perform or participate in any photograph, motion picture, exhibition, show, representation, or other presentation which, in whole or in part, depicts a sexual conduct, sexual excitement, or sadomasochistic abuse involving a child. • 33 V.S.A. 4912

5. What Sexual Abuse Is: • Contact sexual abuse: • Touching the genital area, over or under clothing • Touching breasts, over or under clothing • Touching another person’s genital area • Oral sex • Vaginal or anal penetration with a part of the body (e.g., finger, penis) or with an object

6. What Sexual Abuse Is: • Non-contact sexual abuse includes: • Invitation to touch another in a sexual way • Voyeurism • Encouraging or forcing a child to masturbate or to watch others masturbate • Indecent exposure (flashing) or showing genital areas • Involving children in the viewing of or production of pornographic materials or in watching sexual activities • Encouraging children to behave in sexual ways (e.g., simulating intercourse)

7. Who Sexually Abuses Children It is impossible to describe a typical abuser. They look and act in various ways, can be found in all areas of society, and are often well-respected members of our communities. They may appear to be kind, caring people who are great with kids. Abusers work hard to cultivate this image- so people will not suspect them of, and will not believe it if they are ever accused of, sexually abusing children.

8. Who Sexually Abuses Children • Here’s what research tells us: • Nearly all child sexual abuse is committed by people known to children and families, including: • Family members such as parents, stepparents, siblings, grandparents, uncles, and cousins • People in a family’s circle of trust such as friends, neighbors, teachers, and coaches. • Most abusers are male- although females also sexually abuse children. • Over 1/3 of abusers are under the age of 20.

9. How Sexual Abuse Happens • An abuser needs two things to sexually abuse a child: • Access to a child. • Time alone with the child.

10. Grooming • Although they use a variety of techniques, abusers most often use a process known as grooming to gain control of, and access to, children. • How abusers “Groom”: • Children • Adolescents • Adults

11. Concerns about Your Children’s Behavior • It is challenging enough to think about protecting your children from sexual abusers. It may be even more challenging to consider that your children may behave in sexually inappropriate ways that could victimize others. • It is not always easy to tell the difference between natural sexual curiosity and potentially abusive behaviors. It is essential, however, to pay attention to your children’s actions and know where to turn to for help if they exhibit any behaviors previously discussed.

12. Why Children May Not Tell • Research indicates that most victims of child sexual abuse never tell (or disclose) about abuse during childhood. A child’s decision whether to tell does not rest solely with the child, it also depends on the behavior of the protective adults in a child’s life. • There are many reasons children may delay telling or never tell • There are many ways you can increase the likelihood your children would tell.

13. Plan for Safety • One important strategy for protecting your children is to proactively plan for their safety. • Step One: Identify Protective Factors: • Start by identifying factors that can act as safeguards against being victimized by, or engaging in, sexually harmful behaviors. • Step Two: Identify Risk Factors: • Identify factors that may increase your child’s risk of being victimized by, or engaging in, sexually harmful behaviors. • Step Three: Develop a Plan • Make a list of the protective factors you’d like to increase and the risk factors you’d like to decrease. • Step Four: Put Your Plan Into Action • Follow through on the steps you’ve committed to taking. Review your plan regularly and make additions and adjustments as needed.

14. Talk About It Talk To Your Children About Healthy Sexuality Talk To Your Children About Personal Safety Talk To Other Adults About Sexual Abuse

15. Teaching Highlights PreK-2 • Teach the proper names of all body parts and how to name emotions • Teach healthy boundaries around physical touch • asking permission before touching others • everyone has a right to say “no” to physical touch • Help children understand that touch and physical affection are never a secret • Help children identify more than one adult who they can ask for help

16. Teaching Highlights Grades 3-4 • Teach students how to identify messages that they receive from friends, family, and the media and think about how the messages affect decisions • Teach students about setting and maintaining boundaries as an essential component for safe and responsible relationships • Reinforce the use of proper names for all body parts • Teach tolerance and dealing with conflict respectfully and productively • Build affective communication skills as component of healthy relationships • Children understand that touch and physical affection are never a secret

17. Teaching Highlights for Grades 5-6 • Introduce non-violent and non-verbal communication skills • Explore the meaning of healthy relationships • Strengthen understanding of the bystander role, create opportunities to practice • Help children practice how to ask for help for themselves and others • Reinforce critical thinking skills, including the concept of social access to power based on gender, age, social status, developmental ability, size, etc and how that impacts relationships

18. “If one out of four is sexually abused, then the other three of us need to learn how to break the silence around sexual violence.”-Joan Tabachnick

19. QUESTIONS?