Friends for Life

1. Friends for Life

2. Pre-reading questions • 1. How do you define “friends” and “friendship? • 2. How to choose a friend? • 3. What is needed to make friendship grow, blossom and last? • 4. Will a friendship end? Free template from www.brainybetty.com

3. What is a friend ? • 1. A person whom one knows, likes and trusts.2. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; comrade.3. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group.4. An acquaintance. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

4. What is friendship? • Friendship is an in-depth relationship. • Friendship is comfortable and relaxed. • Friendship requires meeting the needs of both friends. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

5. Friendship Proverbs • "Books and friends should be few but good." • "A friend in need is a friend indeed." - Latin Proverb • "A hedge between keeps friendship green." • "To have a friend, be a friend.” Free template from www.brainybetty.com

6. "The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb." - German Proverb • "Life without a friend is like death without a witness." - Spanish Proverb • "A cheerful friend is like a sunny day spreading brightness all around." Free template from www.brainybetty.com

7. International Friendship Day • August 6 is International Friendship Day for 2006, time to recognize your friends and their contribution to your life. Friendship helps to bring peace and positivism to the globe - a great reason to celebrate! Free template from www.brainybetty.com

8. Toxic/harmful or helpful? • Entering into a friendship opens the door for hurt and harm; a harmful friend or a toxic friendship can be one of life's hardest relationship tribulations to forgive and forget. Toxic friends often come back to haunt you for a long time. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

9. Harmful friends • The person who makes use of others. • The Betrayer . • A fault finder. • The Promise Breaker. • A Gossip. • The Self-centered Person . • The Competitor . Free template from www.brainybetty.com

10. Ways of Maintaining friendship ! • Be a good listener; refrain from offering advice or moralizing. • Respect your friend's point of view. Different personalities can complement each other; it isn't always necessary to see eye to eye. • Never betray a trust. Trust, when violated, can ruin even the best friendship. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

11. Support and praise your friends; ignore their failures and imperfections. • Never resent a friend's success. Instead, strive to admire her achievements. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

12. Flexibility is always important for maintaining friendships. Be understanding when your friend has a last minute change in plans. Learn to accept "I'm sorry to cancel, but we will have another time together Sunday." Free template from www.brainybetty.com

13. When paths begin to separate (you are married; he isn't or you have a baby; she is still childless) at forks in the road of life, that is the most important time of all to stay in touch with friends. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

14. Friends are on a seesaw. In a healthy relationship, friends are equals. Not 50/50 every time, of course, but with a true, lasting  friendship it always evens out in the end. • Best friends require one-on-one contact to survive. Telephone calls and getting together are musts for best friends to continue. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

15. Friendships Do End!! • Many people expect that their friends will always be there. They expect  friendship to last forever. Yet, friendships end and friends part company everyday. Unfortunately, even the best maintained friendships can end. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

16. Many end because of a change in personality or lifestyle when friends just drift apart and fade away with time.There is a retreat from self-disclosure and seeking out each other's company. Avoidance begins. The friendship slowly loses importance and finally disappears. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

17. The biggest threat to a friendship is change. • Regardless of why, when, or how friendships end, there is always some pain of loss. When nothing can be done to mend the friendship, it is important to grieve and feel the pain fully. Then move on to enhance another friendship or build entirely new friendships. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

18. Structural Analysis • Part 1 ( Para 1-2) Introduction The author raises a common problem and supplies a psychological definition. • Part 2( Para 3-4) Discuss friendship within family ties. • Part 3( Para 5-8) It points out the significance of friendship outside kinship ties. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

19. Part 4( Para 9-11) Discuss the friendship between opposite sexes. • Part 5( Para 12-13) How to fix a broken friendship. • Part 6( Para 14-15) The author’s friendship with her grandchildren. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

20. Part 1 • 1. What is the definition of “friend” by psychologists? • 2. How does the author understand “friends”? Free template from www.brainybetty.com

21. Language Points 1. a term of endearment It means “an expression of affection, a word that makes people feel warm and beloved.” actions or words that express your love for someone Boobee n. A term of endearment, originally for a child. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

22. 2. identify: to find out what something is • He identifies beauty with goodness.他认为美与善是一致的。 His accent is difficult to identify. Scientists have identified the gene that causes abnormal growth. Cf identical Free template from www.brainybetty.com

23. 3. confide: 1) trust She’s nice but I don’t feel I can confide in her.（与in连用）倾诉 2) to tell sth. secrete or personal to sb. • One evening he came and confided to me that he had spent five years in prison. （与to连用）吐露（心事、秘密等） Free template from www.brainybetty.com

24. In our transientcultures,… • In our cultures in which things, ideas, etc. change quickly . • transient (transitory）: lasting for only a short period of time • His many love affairs had only bought him transient pleasures. • transient laborers 临时工 • the transient beauty of youth “短暂的青春年华” • Life is transient. 人生如朝露。 Free template from www.brainybetty.com

25. short • speech/piece of writing: • brief, concise, condensed, abridged • person: • not very tall, little, tiny, petite • time/event: • brief, quick, momentary, fleeting, ephemeral, transient, passing, short-lived Free template from www.brainybetty.com

26. legs/fingers: • stumpy, stubby • clothes: • skimpy Free template from www.brainybetty.com

27. And so many people singled into their thirties… • And so many people remain single in their thirties,…单身,没有结婚 • The number of single-parent families has risen greatly in recent years. • a single bed 单人床 • a single ticket 单程票 • single combat. 一对一的格斗 • Singles: unmarried persons considered as a group 单身末婚者的总称 • a bar for singles. 单身酒吧 Free template from www.brainybetty.com

28. essential • “Completely necessary for sth.” • Food is essential to life. 食物是维持生命不可或缺的。 • What is the essential difference between these two economic systems? 这两种经济体制的本质区别是什么? • essential oils 香精油 • essentials of life 生活必需品 Free template from www.brainybetty.com

29. Part 2 （ Pa3-4） • Her own experiences tells the readers that friendship can occur in marriage and families, which might be a surprise to many people. • occur: 1) to take place; happen • The accident occurred at five o'clock. • 2) （与to连用）想起；想到 Free template from www.brainybetty.com

30. An idea occurred to me. 我想到一个主意。 • occur to sb. 浮现在某人脑海中; 被某人想到 • It occurred to me that ... • 我刚刚想到... • Sth happened to me… Free template from www.brainybetty.com

31. This was the case with me.: • I was the good example. • the case: true • Is it the case that you’ve lost your passport? • in case 以防；可能；倘若 • Take a hat with you in case the sun is very hot. • in case of 如果；万一 • In case of rain they can't go. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

32. desperately: desperate • having lost all hope; despairing. • 同义词: terribly; awfully; extremely • fiercely: violently; terribly • fierce attack/opposition/criticism • a fierce storm 狂风暴雨 • fierce competition • a fierce person or animal is angry or ready to attack, and looks very frightening Free template from www.brainybetty.com

33. Part 3 ( 5-6, 7-8) • Friendship ranks …as… • rank as /among: consider as…, be considered to be one of… • Yao Ming ranks among the world’s best basketball players. • This town ranks high among beauty spots. 这城市在风景区中享有盛名。 • He ranked first in the class. 他在班上名列前茅. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

34. 上海被列为世界上最繁华的城市之一。 Shanghai ranks as one of the most prosperous cities in the world. It is not always easy to rank the students in order of ability. She is now fifth in the world rankings. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

35. Their acceptance affirms… • That our friends accept what we are makes us feel assured. • affirm: to support • The suspect affirmed that he had been at home all evening. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

36. individual: a human being regarded as a unique personality • an individual style 独特风格 • rights of individuals 个人权利 • Each individual leaf on the tree is different. • a very individual way of dressing Free template from www.brainybetty.com

37. We make no vows… • vow: a solemn/ serious promise • He vowed to look after his mother when his father died. n. oath make a vow: promise. marriage vow/ wedding vow keep/break a vow Free template from www.brainybetty.com

38. unstated: not stated • caring: loving and sympathetic • It is possible for men to be tough, and at the same time, caring and sensitive. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

39. Para 7-8 friend-making • A gradual relaxation of vigilance… • A process of sharing. According to the modern psychology people usually adopt a defensive attitude in the initial stage of befriending. In this stage, an individual has a kind of caution or alertness in his communication with new friends. This kind of emotional and psychological distance is called vigilance. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

40. With the development of friendship, they became more familiar with each other, and the alertness is removed bit by bit, and the distance between them is shortened little by little, hence gradual relaxation. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

41. Becoming friends means a process of sharing. When revealing what they really are to each other, they gradually become less guarded. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

42. …when the intensity becomes too one-sided. • Even a best friendship needs the balance mentioned in the preceding two sentences. It goes out of balance( unsteady), if one of the two parties is very open and protective of the other, but the other party does little in return. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

43. Total disclosure • It means revealing oneself to someone else completely. • instinctual: instinctive; derived from instinct; based on instinct rather than knowledge Free template from www.brainybetty.com

44. Blossom: produce flowers • We should attach more attention and skill to the heart of friendship, i.e. how to make the relationship blossom ,grow and survive. • The peach tree has an excellent blossom this year. • come into blossom 开始开花 Free template from www.brainybetty.com

45. New industries can blossom over night if we find an outlet for their products. 如果我们为他们的产品找到出路, 新的工业一夜间就能出现。 • The child blossomed into a beauty. 那个女孩出落为了一个美人. • in blossom（树或矮树丛）正开花；高峰时期 Free template from www.brainybetty.com

46. involve: include, concern • The accident involved two cars and a lorry. • reveal: make known • He refused to reveal secretes to the Russians. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

47. Vigilance: alert watchfulness • sharpen [heighten] one's vigilance • 提高警惕 • relax vigilance 放松警惕 • vigilance man 维持治安组织的成员 • Constant vigilance is necessary in order to avoid accidents. • 经常的警戒是避免意外事故所必需的。 Free template from www.brainybetty.com

48. Friends must learn to o strike a balance between the inclination to be open and the need to be protective of each other’s feelings. 朋友应学会在喜欢吐露心声和想要保护彼此感情之间找到一种平衡. • balance( v.) : give care and attention to both things • I had to do a balancing act between work and family. Free template from www.brainybetty.com

49. My accounts balance for the first time this year! • Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice held talks on Saturday with Japan and Australia to deepen a three-way regional alliance aimed in part at balancing the spreading presence of China. (2006-03-19 NY times ) • n. 秤,平衡, [商] 收支差额, 结余, 余额 • The balance of the wages was devoted to new books on flower culture. • 同义词: weigh the advantages and disadvantages权衡利弊 Free template from www.brainybetty.com

50. Get out of balance: lose balance • intensity: exceptionally great concentration, power, or force. • one-sided: (adj.) favoring one side or group; partial or biased 只见问题之一面的, 片面的 • a one-sided view 片面的观点 • one-sided love 单相思 • Have a crush on sb. Free template from www.brainybetty.com