HOW TO CREATE a PRAISE CULTURE at WORK (and all around you! and RESTORE WORK RELATIONSHIPS

1. HOW TO CREATE a PRAISE CULTURE at WORK (and all around you! and RESTORE WORK RELATIONSHIPS www.benwilliams.co.uk

2. HOW TO CREATE a PRAISE CULTURE at WORK and all around you! and RESTORE WORK RELATIONSHIPS PRESENTED by BEN WILLIAMS 0131 226 2727 benw@benwilliams.co.uk www.benwilliams.co.uk

3. The Art of Conflict Resolution www.benwilliams.co.uk

4. The Artof Resolving Conflict Six Essential Techniques that can be easily learned. They can be readily applied, either singly, or in any appropriate combination. They can move a situation of conflict towards equitable resolution and satisfactory outcomes. • “I” versus “YOU” LANGUAGE • ANTICIPATION • SELF-INTEREST • META-TALK • LIMIT-SETTING • USING CONSEQUENCES www.benwilliams.co.uk

5. “I” versus “YOU” LANGUAGE • Takes 100% Responsibility and Ownership • Promotes Cooperation and Understanding • Lessens Threat to Higher Authority www.benwilliams.co.uk

6. ANTICIPATION • Gaining Co-operation • Influencing Others • Winning Respect • Overcoming Stereotypes www.benwilliams.co.uk

7. SELF-INTEREST • Money • Power • Popularity • Status • Promotion • Recognition • Security www.benwilliams.co.uk

8. META-TALK • Listen carefully to the other person • Attend to how they are speaking • Search for the underlying meaning behind their words • Be aware of the meaning of their non-verbal signals, such as tone, pace of speech, facial expression • Always acknowledge and deal with the Meta-Talk message before dealing with the openly spoken messages www.benwilliams.co.uk

9. LIMIT-SETTING • Avoid potential conflicts by setting limits in advance • Use direct, clear and simple statements to set limits • Define the parameters of the agreement or task clearly in advance • Each party acknowledges and agrees the parameters or limits exactly • Set a limit to what is possible for you to accomplish, you can then put the responsibility on the other person to resolve the problem or conflict www.benwilliams.co.uk

10. USING CONSEQUENCES • State the possible consequence in a non-threatening manner • Make sure you have Legitimate Power to issue the consequence • Follow through on your stated action www.benwilliams.co.uk

11. Assertive Conflict Resolution www.benwilliams.co.uk

12. Choice of Conflict-Handling Styles high CompetitionCollaboration WIN:LOSE WIN:WIN Compromise Concern for Self AvoidanceAccommodation LOSE:LOSE LOSE:WIN low high Concern for Other/s www.benwilliams.co.uk

13. Competition When one party struggles to achieve his or her goals regardless of the impact on other parties involved, the conflict is handled by competition and dominance. These familiar “Win-Lose” conditions occur when one party prevails only at the other’s expense. Organizational gamesmen who use Competition frequently call the formal authority system into play, seeking the support of organizational “power players” who will help them dominate their opposition. Notice that this style is high on the self-interest scale and low on concern and respect for others. Uses: • When quick decisive action is vital. • On important issues where unpopular actions must be implemented. • Against people who take advantage of non-competitive behaviour. (Give to the Givers and Take from the Takers) www.benwilliams.co.uk

14. Collaboration When both conflicting parties work to satisfy each other’s concerns, the style becomes one of Collaboration. Searching for a mutually beneficial outcome, both individuals or groups emphasize solving the problem by (1) sharpening the understanding of where differences lie, (2) generating as many alternatives as possible, and, only then (3) selecting a solution that fits both concerns. Since the desired solution is advantageous to both parties, this is referred to as a “Win-Win” approach. Collaboration is a frequent tool of marriage counsellors and industrial relations mediators, who keep each side generating alternative solutions until an acceptable one is found. Uses: • To find an integrative solution, when both sets of concerns are too important to be compromised. • To merge insights from people with different perspectives • To gain commitment by incorporating the concerns of other parties. www.benwilliams.co.uk

15. Avoidance By far the most frequent response, Avoidance occurs when one or both parties simply withdraw from or suppress the conflict. People avoid the problem out of simple indifference to the outcome or because they feel inadequate to deal with it. If withdrawal is not possible, one or both parties may suppress the conflict, keeping it simmering just below the surface of everyday interaction, where it waits for the right (or wrong!) moment to break through. Uses: • When the issue is trivial, or when more important issues are pressing. • When possible disruptions outweigh the benefits of resolution. • When other people or future scenarios may be able to resolve the conflict more effectively. www.benwilliams.co.uk

16. Accommodation This style comes into play when one party is prepared to appease the other – to give them what they want – with little or no regard for personal concerns. This is generally done in the spirit of self-sacrifice, the Accommodator’s sacrifice being made willingly because any perceived negative outcomes are deemed acceptable; he or she can live with them. Accommodation may take the form of a manipulated parent “giving in” to their whining and pouting child. In the very noblest situations, however, one party will – not only in a spirit of sincerity but also of well grounded logic – place the other’s welfare above his or her own, and suffer genuine change or genuine distress as a result. Uses: • When issues are more important to others than to yourself; to satisfy others and maintain their co-operation. • To stockpile social credits (Brownie Points) for future use (i.e. in bargaining). • When other people or future scenarios may be able to resolve the conflict more effectively. www.benwilliams.co.uk

17. Compromise When each party in a conflict agrees to give something up in order to get something in return, Compromise, a “give and take” style, is in effect. There a are no clear winners and losers with this approach; rather, there is (1) a rationing of the object of conflict (where the object is divisible, like sums of money), or (2) a reward yielded by one party to the other in return for concessions granted. Union-Management negotiations frequently take the Compromise approach, as concessions from one side of the table are mated with concessions from the other in order to reach agreement. Uses: • When opponents of equal power are committed to mutually exclusive goals. • To achieve temporary settlements on complex issues. • To achieve expedient solutions under time pressure. www.benwilliams.co.uk

18. Praise Art and Leadership Skill www.benwilliams.co.uk

19. Praise Matters • Everyone needs recognition and reassurance • Praise gives us pride in our jobs and in our careers • Praise generates enthusiasm and commitment • Praise builds loyalty • Praise prevents people from being taken for granted • Praise motivates us to “go the extra mile” • Praise improves our relationships with one another • Praise takes hardly any time and costs nothing! www.benwilliams.co.uk

20. Praise is a Learnable Skill • One reason why people don’t do it is because they don’t know how to • Another reason may be that people fear being thought of as soft, or flattering, or manipulative • Giving praise is not a natural gift; there is a simple technique that can easily be learned! www.benwilliams.co.uk

21. Praise • Make your praise specific about the person’s action or behaviour • Talk about it with them • No “sting in the tail” such as “…make sure you keep it up!” • Put it on record, in their personal file and in your diary • Make it public through notice boards, company newsletter, bulletins • Pass praise on to the person concerned (again putting it on record) • Look for opportunities to praise people on a daily basis www.benwilliams.co.uk

22. Make It Specific • Praising everybody for nothing is almost as bad as praising nobody for anything. • The difference between real praise and the phoney variety is that real praise is specific. • The person praising you explains precisely what it is they liked about what you did. www.benwilliams.co.uk

23. Talk About It • Don’t give the impression that you want to get it over as quickly as possible. • When you are praising someone, ask questions. Make it into a conversation. www.benwilliams.co.uk

24. No Sting in the Tail • Do not ruin praise by tacking a criticism onto the end of it. • Avoid anything which sounds like “Well done, but…” or “Of course, it’s what you’re paid for…” www.benwilliams.co.uk

25. Put It On Record • Adopt a “belt and braces” approach. Give praise verbally and face-to-face. • Then follow it up with a personal note, with a copy for the individual’s appraisal file. www.benwilliams.co.uk

26. Make It Public • When someone has done something above and beyond the call of duty, don’t keep it a secret. • Praise them in front of their fellow team members. • Put a notice on the notice board. • Write a paragraph for the staff magazine. • Recommend them for employee of the month. N.B. There is a “but”!...but if your organization has the opposite of a climate of praise, don’t go straight in with brass bands and champagne. Build the habit of giving praise gently, steadily and consistently. (use The 60 Pence Tactic) www.benwilliams.co.uk

27. Pass Praise On • When customers, colleagues or senior managers praise the work of a member of your team, don’t keep it to yourself – Pass it on! • Identify who might be likely to praise your team; don’t wait for them to come to you, approach them and ask them. www.benwilliams.co.uk

28. Look for Opportunities to Praise People • Keep your eyes and ears open. • Get out from behind your computer screen and away from your desk. • Ask yourself where and when you might find opportunities to praise people. • Set yourself targets and make it your business to praise people • Find one person to praise every day. • Your motto is “Catch people doing something right!” • Once again! - Build the habit of giving praise consistently. (use The 60 Pence Tactic) www.benwilliams.co.uk

29. Praise The 60 Pence Tactic www.benwilliams.co.uk

30. The 60 Pence Tactic “Lend” yourself 60 pence in 5p coins for three weeks. Each day, look for opportunities to praise people sincerely, relevantly and personally. Every time you praise someone, take a 5p coin and place it in your pocket. At the end of each day you should have 12 coins as a result of praising people twelve times that day. Keep this up daily for three weeks. • 180 Times = A Habit • The praised person’s morale goes up • Praise culture grows • Performance and commitment increases • Others copy your praise behaviour • N.B. Praising people is a privilege that can be withdrawn • rather like the old Royal Navy rum ration! www.benwilliams.co.uk

31. THANK YOU! Please do keep in touch BEN WILLIAMS 0131 226 2727 benw@benwilliams.co.uk www.benwilliams.co.uk

32. About Our Logo Our logo is one of 64 Hexagrams of the I Ching, an ancient Chinese book of wisdom and personal insight. This hexagram, Chung Fu, symbolizes Inner Truth. In the West, truth usually means “correspondence to fact”; in the East it more often refers to principles, aims, and objectives, and is related to proper intent rather than simply to accurate representation of fact. www.benwilliams.co.uk

33. Good Luck! Keep in Touch! www.benwilliams.co.uk