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When: 10 May 2010 Where: Arse-end of London

When: 10 May 2010 Where: Arse-end of London. Lansdown FC in front of the Daniel Agger Stand, Dagenham & Redbridge FC. Lansdown FC End of Season Presentation Ben Brennan & Sami McCabe. An entirely unnecessary look back at another season of below-average park football . Agenda. Season Review

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When: 10 May 2010 Where: Arse-end of London

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  1. When: 10 May 2010Where: Arse-end of London Lansdown FC in front of the Daniel Agger Stand, Dagenham & Redbridge FC

  2. Lansdown FC End of Season PresentationBen Brennan & Sami McCabe An entirely unnecessary look back at another season of below-average park football

  3. Agenda • Season Review • Ben’s Vital Statistics • The Blog • The Bad News • Awards “Keep going Lansdown, this has been ‘allright’ so far” Matt Atkinson encourages sustained mediocrity

  4. Season Review “I was delighted when you missed as well” Sami McCabe reflects on Ben Brennan’s penalty effort in the shoot-out against Red Bee

  5. Headlines • London Football League ‘Premier League’: 7th Place • London Football League ‘Saturday Cup’: 1st Round • London Football League ‘Saturday Cup, Plate Competition’: Semi-finalists • London Football League ‘Weekend Cup’: Quarter-finalists

  6. League Table

  7. Group of Deaf/Group ‘B’ “I’m not actually Cuban, I’m just an overconfident Egyptian” Sami to anyone that would listen at ‘The Cuban Bar’ (while attempting to ‘Cha-cha-cha’ with the many real Cubans in attendance)

  8. Lansdown FC Trophy Cabinet “Fat-trick!” Brennan Till expresses his delight at completing a hat-trick against Wembley Park FC ‘B’

  9. London Football League Saturday PM ‘Premier’ League Winners: Park View FC

  10. London Football League Saturday PM ‘Premier’ League Runners-up: FC African

  11. Year by Year ‘The Glory Years’ (back to back titles) ‘The Glory Hole’ (no titles) ‘The Shit Years’

  12. Trendline

  13. Trendlinevs Hairline BOX: 2001 BOX: 2011

  14. Ben’s Vital Statistics Ben Brennan looking very cool

  15. Players Dave Willock Ben Brennan James Burberry Mattie Alleston Nic Knight Sami McCabe Chris Locke Henry Simms Rhys Phelps George Hibdige Rob Langridge Bernard Jerome Gill Curtis Stranger James Amar Mark Fenton Adam HuckleTorben Nielsen Mike Stoneman Martin Kavanagh Matt Higgs Tom Gould Ben Gubb Jose Fernandes Paul Knight Alex Cooper DinosO’Tritsarolis Jon D. Elsworth Mike Mayes James Paul Simon Martin Reeves Peter Simms Alex Brennan Jack Grove Stuart Rolland Roger Justin Duncan NevettThiago Graham Kavanagh Mark Hillier Sam Barnes Oli Cooper Matt Atkinson Hero Senga Brennan Till 46 (Context: Aston Villa used 24 players in all competitions this season and they managed to qualify for the Europa League. Bare that in mind.)

  16. Appearances

  17. Goalscorers

  18. One hit wonders • DinosO’Tritsarolis • Mattie Alleston • Jerome Gill • Eifel 65: Blue (DaBa Dee) • Jose Fernandes • Mark Hillier • Rob Langridge • Edison Lighthouse: Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) • Rhys Phelps • Henry Simms

  19. Hard Men (number of Cautions) Sami McCabe (3) Rhys Phelps (1) Oli Cooper (1) Ben Brennan (1) A couple of our hard men in action (insert knob gag)

  20. Another of our hardest man at work ...

  21. And Hob on a hardman ...

  22. And Fent in a high five moment

  23. And here’s one of BOX for good measure...

  24. The Blog • 11,161 hits so far • 99 posts (47 by me) • Top news stories: ‘Hibdige Strong’ – 104 views ‘Club Meeting’ – 88 views ‘AC Matalan 0 – 2 Lansdown FC’ – 76 views ‘Lansdown FC 6 – 1 AC Matalan’ – 73 views ‘Kitastrophe’ – 72 views “I’ve had to cut one side differently to the other because it’s receding at a faster pace” Hairdresser to BOX following his pre-holiday trim

  25. Match Reports “Rhys – that’s never going to work.” – Jon D., reacting to Rhys’ third attempted back-heal of the game vs AC Matalan “Rhys – put that away.” – Sam, reacting to Rhys’ third attempted back-heal of the game vs AC Matalan

  26. Blog Ratings

  27. BOX: Average ‘Kit-man turns hit-man as Lansdown reach the knock-out stages’ by Henry Simms

  28. The Bad News

  29. Finances “I’ll put you on the news” Elite Youth’s central midfielder to an unspecified Lansdown player

  30. 2008-9 profit “Does Jewish Free School mean that Jewish people are not allowed in?” Torben prior to the fixture at the Jewish Free School

  31. Credit crunch:

  32. 2009-10 debt £1,124.88

  33. Kitastrophe: Dictionary Definition “Main Entry: ki·tas·tro·phe Pronunciation: \ki-ˈtas-trə-(ˌ)fē\ Function: noun • tymology: Greek katastrophē, from kitastrephein to fuck up the kit on a massive scale, from kit to supply clothing- + strephein to fuck up 1: utter failure in kit supply” Oxford English Dicktionary, 2010

  34. Awards “Where are you from?” An elderly gentleman to Sami McCabe in the Kingsbury Wetherspoons, presumably on account of having not previously seen an Argyle knit/blazer combo in the establishment.

  35. Goal of the Season Home to Fanatics FC

  36. Cross of the Season Winner Runner-up Sam Barnes for his perfectly placed cross onto Till’s head against Barnet DFC. Till couldn’t miss. Well... Mattie Alleston for his perfectly placed effort against AC Matalan

  37. Player of the Season Rewarding averageness with a trophy “Is your auntie porn star?” Hero to Rhys prior to the home game against AC Matalan

  38. Player of the Season Henry Simms

  39. The Dicky Pelham Award

  40. The Dicky Pelham Award Winner Mattie Alleston

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