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Coming Out as a Transgender Woman at a Major HPC Center

Coming Out as a Transgender Woman at a Major HPC Center. Carissa Holohan Principal High Performance Computing Network Administration Specialist Argonne Leadership Computing Facility. About Me…. The short, short version: trans geek girl who makes supercomputers talk to each-other!.

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Coming Out as a Transgender Woman at a Major HPC Center

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  1. Coming Out as a Transgender Woman at a Major HPC Center • Carissa Holohan Principal High Performance Computing Network Administration Specialist Argonne Leadership Computing Facility

  2. About Me… The short, short version: trans geek girl who makes supercomputers talk to each-other! • Have been active in the LGBTQIA+ community since high school • Started at the ALCF in April, 2010 • Helped create Spectrum, the LGBTQIA+ Employee Resource Group at Argonne, in December, 2015

  3. About Coming Out… • Knew something was “wrong” with myself since childhood • Kept making excuses for “putting up with” how I was born • Finally started to do something about my gender identity issues in March, 2017 • Kept telling myself I would just quietly go to the doctor and come up with a plan to come out at work “eventually” • Keeping it quiet lasted not quite 3 months • I have a great relationship with my coworkers, and we’re very social • Just starting out, I thought I was being subtle… • Coworkers kept noticing things… • “You seem so much happier lately!” • “Wow, you got your ears pierced!” • ”Oh cool, you got your nails done!” • “You look different. Good different!” (My favorite quote from this entire experience!)

  4. About Coming Out… • The Big Reveal • We had an important meeting coming up with a new leadership team at DOE Headquarters, and I really didn’t want to have to introduce myself as the “old” me and then do it all over again a few months later • By now, I had already told most of my immediate coworkers that I was trans and would be coming out eventually, because most everybody I worked with on a daily basis had noticed something • At the end of our regular team meeting, I gave a simple announcement of “Hi, I’m transgender, my name is Carissa now, please use female pronouns” • There was a lot of cheering • I should have brought tissues… oops • I followed up with a letter that I sent to the entire division by email • The hardest part of all of this was making sure I wrote a “Thank You” note to everyone who sent me amazing messages of support and encouragement • I had to make a separate email filter to track replies because I was so afraid I would leave someone out • … and yes, I stopped by the office supply closet for tissues

  5. The Point… • Even before openly coming out about my gender incongruency, the positive effects of acknowledging and addressing it were clearly visible to my peers during day-to-day office interactions • These positive changes were of even greater benefit after coming out openly • Being in the closet wastes valuable energy that could be going to better use • When LGBTQIA+ colleagues are able to be themselves at work, without fear of prejudice, they have more capacity to create and more energy to focus on their job • Please join us for Spectral Analysis: Building an LGBTQIA+ Community in Scientific Computing, a Birds-of-a-Feather session on Thursday, November 15, at 12:15 in room C145

  6. Questions?

  7. Thank You!carissa@anl.govSpectral Analysis LGBTQIA+ BoF: Thurs, 12:15, C145!

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