Welcome to Hawai‘i’s 5 th Annual Conference for Resource Families and Service Providers

1. Welcome to Hawai‘i’s 5th Annual Conference for Resource Families and Service Providers “Fostering CommUNITY: Connecting Our ‘Ohana” Guest Speakers: Kimo Alameda, Ph.D., Laurie Jicha, MSW, & Lynne Kazama, LSW

2. The “You” in CommUnityMaking it Happen C. Kimo Alameda, Ph.D. adrkimo@cs.com

3. Change is inevitable. It’s how you adapt to the change that will define your success. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. “Change is the Only evidence of Life”

4. Key Resources Used • Our Home, Your Home: Cultural Considerations • The Day in the Life of a Native Hawaiian Youth • Best of Both Worlds: Resource and Birth Families Working Together for Children -- Norma Ginther • HANAI Resource Caregiver Training

5. The 8 Great Traitsto ‘Ohana Time Success

6. GT 1: Stay Motivated Appreciate your Job - Embrace your Kuleana Kuleana Right Privilege Concern Responsibility *be the hands

7. “A wise man never loses anything if he has himself.”  ~Michel de Montaigne Know Yourself • You know your biases and are in control of them • You know what gets under your skin and have strategies to counter it • You know how to balance your personal and family life with your work • You are honest about your feelings and are aware when you’ve made a mistake • You can accept supervision and you are open to change • …and you look inward first before looking to blame

8. Stay Positive… There are two types of people on the earth today, Just two kinds of people, no more I say. Not the good and the bad, for its well understood That the good are half-bad and the bad are half-good No! The two kinds of people on the earth I mean They are the people who lift and the people who lean. Ella Wilcox

9. “Treat a man as he is and you make him worse, but treat a man as if he already is what he potentially could be and you help make him what he should be.” ~Goethe GT2: Expect the Best • Do you expect the best from the families and children you work with? • Do you find great joy in watching families you serve make changes? • What if they don’t make changes? Do you take it personal? Do you give up? • We are farmers as well…

10. Expecting the Best also meansPaying attention to the little things… Count every ' F ' in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS 

11. GT3: Increase Your People Skills • Use Tact: Make your point without making an enemy. • You know that the best way to win an argument is to avoid it. • 9 times out of 10, an argument ends with each of the “contestants” more firmly convinced than ever that s/he is absolutely right. • A man convinced against his will, is a man of the same opinion still. What to do instead? ….

12. Be open to different views…

13. Welcome disagreement…but how? • Control your temper • “He who angers you controls you.” (TONE is everything). • Be honest • Look for areas where you can admit error. “Apologize and it will disarm your ‘opponent’ and reduce defensiveness.” • If possible, postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem. • You ask yourself, • Could they be right? Partly right? • Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem or will it just relieve my frustration? • Will my reaction drive them away or bring them closer? • What price do I have to pay if I get my way?

14. But Why? GT4: Increase Your Engagement Skills

15. …because it mattersIn a qualitative study of 35 caregivers, the single most important factor reported as being helpful is that program personnel were like family to them. The caregivers reported that they felt recognized, valued, cared for, and supported. --Gockel, Russell and Harris (2008)In youth studies,early positive engagement is associated with family trust, self-efficacy, self-esteem and school attachment in a sample of youth in a residential treatment center. --Smith, Duffee, Steinke, Huang and Larkin (2008)

16. Yet…the crossroad for engagement is a Four-way Intersection Agency / Department Primary Family / Child Environmental / System Resource Caregiver Social Worker

17. Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.  I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.   Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? The smae is ture for msot cnosrevatnois. The “hlleo-gdooybe” is the msot ipmorantt! Sometimes, the “Hello” – “Goodbye”is the most important part of the conversation

18. Know the Values of Mainstream Culture and How to Adjust

19. “…focusing only on ethnicity is just as bad as not focusing on ethnicity at all.”Culture is More than Ethnicity GT5: Expand your view of Culture

20. Other Areas of Culture to Think About… A-D-D-R-E-S-S-I-N-G

21. Age: developmental, age appropriate activitiesDisability: differently abled, deaf cultureDistrict: where from? city? country?Religion: religious beliefs? Ethnicity: ethnic values, traditions, etc.SES: shelter, clothing, money issues?Sexual orientation: gay youth, questioning?Indigenous peoples: Hawaiians, trust, etc.National origin: language issues, workGender: girl/boy specific activities, concerns, etc.

22. Build Your TEAM?But first you need to be a Team Player GT6: Increase your Resource Awareness

23. Be a Team Player • When everybody does what they are supposed to do in concert with others, and an eye on the end result, teamwork appears. My supervisxr txld me that teamwxrk depends xn the perfxrmance xf every single persxn xn the team. I ignxred that idea until my supervisxr shxwed hxw the typewriter perfxrms when just xnc single key is xut of xrder. All the xther keys xn xur typerwriter wxrk just fine except xne. Nxw I knxw that even thxugh I am xnly xne persxn, I am needed if the team is tx wxrk as a successful team shxuld.

24. Be A Resource Expert… • Know the “natural environments” • Know the “informal supports” • Ask about church supports, coaches, etc. • Know the “formal provider agencies” • Work with the DOE, DOH, etc… • Find the “cheap but fun” family activities • Be the resource… when the timing is right, give good advice… • i.e., Old people, Old places, Old things… New people, New Places, New Things…

25. Keep “Agenda’s” Upfront(prevent surprises)

26. GT7: Increase Your Assessment Skills • Understand the Theory of Change: • Precontemplation: I’m angry, it’s everybody fault, I don’t need to change anything about me, I just want my kids back, I hate you folks… • Contemplation:Maybe I need to change, maybe this is a wake up call, I wonder if I need help… • Commitment: I want to change, I need to change, I don’t know how but I’m willing… • Action: I’m making changes, I got some skills and more resources to draw upon… • Maintenance: I’m changed

27. Informal Assessment Mental Health, Safety Issues, Supervision Level, Parental Readiness, Substance/Alcohol Level of Intoxication, etc... • Keep your Assessments Fluid • Consider the context • Behavioral occurs within the context • When assessing for safety, don’t disregard your gut feeling

28. With all of this work comes the biggest issue of all…

29. Stress !!! • One-fourth of employees view their jobs as the number one stressor in their lives. • Three-fourths of employees believe the worker has more on-the-job stress than a generation ago.                                        • Problems at work are more strongly associated with health complaints than any other life stressor. More so than even financial or family problems.

30. GT8: Self Care Early Warning Signs of Stress HeadacheSleep DisturbancesDifficulty in ConcentratingShort TemperUpset StomachJob DissatisfactionLow Morale

31. What to do??? Ah ha: Don’t bring your work home Ahhhhh: Do something you enjoy Ha ha: Laugh often ------ Careful of being on the Extremes

34. MAHALO!