Life Stressors: Helping Families Cope

1. Life Stressors:Helping Families Cope March 18, 2010 Christina Carson-Sacco, Psy.D. www.TheCenterInWarrington.com

2. Stress • American Psychological Association • November, 2009 Report “Stress In America” • Survey says Americans’ stress levels are too high

3. Parents are not accurate in their perceptions of children’s stress levels • Teens/tweens more likely to say stress had increased in past year • Parents were out of sync with regard to the sources of worry for their children • Children were more likely to report having physical symptoms of stress than their parents felt they did

4. Adults and Stress: • 75% of adults reported moderate to high levels of stress in the past month • 43% say they eat too much or unhealthy foods as a result of stress • Though 44% use exercise to relieve stress, many report using sedentary activities • Significant numbers of adults reported experiencing symptoms related to stress in the past month • 70% received recommendations for lifestyle/behavior changes

5. The Effects of Stress • Some stress is good • What chronic high levels of stress does to your body • Physical wear and tear • Reduced immune system function • Can impair the brain’s ability to block toxins

6. Warning Signs • What to look for as ‘red flags’ with regard to your child’s/your own stress level: • Irritability, moodiness, withdrawal • Sleeping too much/too little • Eating too much/too little • Physical complaints • Getting into trouble • Can’t have fun • Substance use

7. Stress and the Family • We are all connected • Loss of connection is damaging • Parents as role models

8. GAF • Global Assessment of Functioning from American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM) • From 1 to 100 • Common things can cause stress and reduce your numbers on GAF (ranked by Holmes and Rahe) • The key is that anything that happens can be perceived as stressful

9. Coping Skills • Talk to your child about stress • Notice • Give them your full attention • Don’t try to fix it or intrude • Repeat back what you heard • Watch your own parental anxiety • Provide age-appropriate • Realize they may use other words than ‘stress,’ such as ‘annoyed,’ ‘confused,’ or ‘angry’ • Don’t discount their stress

10. More Coping Skills • Prevention • Insulate your child to stress • Start with the basics • Help your child problem solve • Teach them to express themselves • Teach them relaxation skills • Give them outlets • If you can, reduce some • Stay connected • Teach them how to ask for help

11. Your Own Coping Skills • Be a role model • Monitor your moods • Make time for yourself • Prioritize • Set reasonable standards for yourself • Catch yourself if you have negative automatic thought patterns • Build and maintain your support network

12. Some Specifics • The Holidays • Divorce • Taking care of our children, parents, selves • Challenges of Special Needs Child • Diagnosis • Assessment and School • Being a sibling to a special needs child

13. The Holidays • Feeling overwhelmed is normal • Pressure to make things perfect • Put things into perspective • Take time for yourself • Volunteer • Have realistic expectations • Focus on ‘family’ that is supportive and positive • Start a new tradition

14. Job Loss/Financial Troubles • Job loss can lead to various symptoms • Resilience • Structure • Connect • Accept • Long-term view • Purpose

15. Divorce • Put your children first • Talk with children • Respect the other parent • Try to maintain routines • Don’t fight in front of them/use them as a messenger • Take care of yourself • Watch for warning signs • Seek help when needed

16. Caregiver Stress • Emotional and Physical Strain • Try to find positives • Watch for warning signs • Grieve • Care for self first • Ask for and accept help

17. Parenting a Special Needs Child • Take time after learning about diagnosis • Seek connection/support • One day at a time • Educate yourself • You don’t have to be a rock • Find positives • Care for yourself first • Care for your relationships • Plan how to deal with other’s reactions • Try to keep routines • Keep a sense of humor

18. Siblings of Special Needs Children • Experience can be positive • Fierce supporters • Some feelings are less positive • Talk and educate • Foster connections with other sibs • Find one on one time • Things don’t have to be ‘fair’ • Try not to lean on them; watch for being ‘too good’ • Help them prepare for other’s reactions • Use school and other supports

19. Let’s Try Something • Deep breathing • Progressive Muscle Relaxation • Imagery • Keep up with your ‘bag of tricks’