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Understand how money can impact relationships and learn how to communicate effectively about finances with your partner to avoid conflicts. Tips on managing money, combining different money personalities, and maintaining a strong relationship as you navigate financial decisions.
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Relationships & Communication CM 1.02
What Do I Want? In completing your lifecycle/task, many of you said that you wanted to get married. When you take on someone else’s last name and/or give someone your last name, do you know what you are getting into? Do they want to take on your name or keep their own? Is your future spouse a spendthrift? Frugal? Lazy? Home body? Love to party? Hopefully today will give you some tips to think about BEFORE you find that special someone. Ready? 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Just after the end of a workshop a young woman asked if we could speak in private. She wanted to know how she could talk to her new husband about their finances. They had been married less than a year and were struggling when it came to money. Their most recent fight was over their tax refund. Her husband spent their refund on a $650 gym membership without telling her. To compound the problem she had spent the $650 on a new dinette suite for their apartment without telling him. Now, not only did they not have an extra $650, but they were $650 overdrawn on their account 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Communication is KeyThe number #1 cause of divorce is disagreements about money.Did you know…The effects of money go way beyond a marriage.Money WILL become an issue at some point.Are you living with your partner?Do you plan to cosign a car loan for your child?Will you or your child be responsible for his or her school loans?Money – escalates ANY conversation to levels of frustration, hurt, and anger like no other topic. 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Money affects ALL relationships • Friends • Siblings • Significant others • Parents and children 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Relationships = 2 or More People • Different personalities • Different belief systems • Probably different goals That is why COMMUNICATION is the KEY! GOAL = work FOR each other not against each other. 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Communicate!Learning to communicate about money in ANY relationship is crucial to your financial health. • Likes • Fears • Concerns When you are a team, you work together toward common goals. 2.01 Relationships & Communication
The Two of UsSo why do couples fight over money? • Individual • Differ • Emotionally • Spiritually • Physically • Financially • Brings his or her own set of values & biases to the relationship • Brings a different money personality 2.01 Relationships & Communication
What is your money personality? • Are you a saver or spendthrift? • Do you know your partner’s money personality? By recognizing and understanding that each person is very different, you can begin to minimize struggles over money. 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Combining 2 Different Money PersonalitiesRecognize, Understand and Accept… • Each other individually • Each of you will change over time • Your likes, wants, desires, and the way you think about money • You are different now than you were 5 years ago • You will be different 5 years from today The goal is to learn how to grow together and keep your relationship strong as you change over time. 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Tips for Fighting about Money Fight only about the particular money issue at hand Don’t argue just to win Focus on the root cause of the problem Fight for your relationship, not against it Address issues as they occur Fight for the truth 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Tips for Paying BillsPaying the bills is a bookkeeping chore onlyPaying the bills is not the same as spending the moneySwitch the bill paying chore from time to timeManaging money is a shared responsibility 2.01 Relationships & Communication
How Many Accounts?So how many checking accounts should a couple have? • No single answer is right for every couple • A single account keeps bookkeeping simple • One account may work if one partner uses cash for small out of pocket expenses. • Less fees • Many couples use 2 accounts. • One account for household bills and purchases • One account for “me” money • “me” money = personal spending – dining out, etc. • Some couples use 3 accounts. • One account for household bills and purchases • One account for EACH partner’s “me” money 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Marriage • One of the BIGGEST financial decisions • you can make • Discuss your goals and agree on some basic directions BEFORE the marriage begins. • Discussing money shows your desire to strengthen your relationship, work together, and avoid future arguments and disappointments. 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Marriage vs Living Together • Can live together cheaper than an 2 individuals living apart • Financially there are several advantages of getting married • Legally binding contract – protection under the law • Next-of-kin status – become each other’s closest living relative • Laws regulating ownership, indebtedness, relationships and even criminal law makes assumptions depending upon whether or not you are married. • Employers extend health, disability, dental, and other insurance benefits to spouses. • Married couples are considered more stable than non-married couples. This reduces the cost of all your insurance premiums from life insurance to car • Survivor’s benefits – deceased spouse retirement plans, and social security payments • Estate – surviving spouse gets all property and income (not allocated to someone else in a will). 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Non-married Couples • Sharing assets and debts – creates financial challenge in a break up • Cohabitation agreement – limited legal backing • Individual insurance premiums are higher 2.01 Relationships & Communication
Wills, Power of Attorneys, and Estates • Will: A document in which a person specifies the method to be applied in the management and distribution of his estate after his death. • Power of Attorney: A power of attorney is a legal document you can use to give someone else the authority to take specific actions on your behalf, such as signing your checks to pay your bills or selling a particular piece of real estate for you • Estates: An estate is the total possessions of an individual in form of land and houses among others. 2.01 Relationships & Communication