Stress Management-Control Your Life With These 24 Steps

1. Stress Management Take Control of Your Life with These 24 Steps What is Stress? Stress is defined as a person’s physiological response to an internal or external stimuli that triggers the fight or flight response. It is a situation where one feels as if one is under too much pressure. The pressure could be physical, mental or emotional. We all have ways of coping with the pressures of life. Without life pressures, we would not be motivated to aspire or achieve anything in life. However, there comes a point when the pressure becomes too much and this point differs in every one of us. Some people are more able to cope with stress than others. What Mr A regards as stressful may not be stressful at all for Mr B. Constant stress causes damage to health, mood, productivity, relationships, and quality of life. The art of living life is full of things that can cause stress for us. E g, work situations, money problems, relationship problems, having deadlines e g assignment for students, projects at work. Etc.

2. A stressful situation causes our body to go into “fight or flight mode”. i e it prepares our body to either prepare to defend itself (fight) or take itself away from the aggravating condition(flight) These hormones are called adrenaline. They get secreted in response to stress but once the situation passes they return to normal levels. An acute reaction may occur when the affected person responds to a terrifying or traumatic event acutely. It could be exhibited as vivid dreams and flashbacks, emotional detachment or amnesia. They usually occur within four weeks of the event. When a person is stressed, you feel as if you haven’t got the time to do everything that you need to do and you start panicking as a result. It may be financial stress when you have lots of bills to pay without having the means to pay for them. It may be work stress when you have lots on your to do list and you don’t have the time to do all of them.

3. Long Term Effects of Stress For somebody who is always under stress, the hormones will constantly be at high levels in the body and they cause chronic effects like • Being on edge all the time, • Raised blood pressure, • Heart disease • Heart attacks • Gastrointestinal problems • Chronic insomnia • Depression • Weight gain/weight loss • Autoimmune problems e. g hair loss/alopecia • Increased risk of strokes • Increased vulnerability to panic attacks and anxiety • Asthma • Back pain • Headaches • Immunosuppression which leads to increased susceptibility to infections • It can hasten the aging process etc. • Children who grow up in stressful homes due for example to serious marital discord, alcoholism or child abuse may have their development or growth retarded.

4. Why is stress management important? Putting stress into perspective. American Psychological Association in August 2014 conducted a survey, 72 % of Americans reported feeling stressed about money at least some of the time during the previous month. Stress about money and finances appear to have a significant impact on many American’s lives. On average, American stress levels are trending downwards .The average reported stress level is 4.9 on a 10 point scale, down from 6.2 in 2007. Even, in spite of these lower stress levels, the report concludes that Americans are living with stress levels higher than what we believe to be healthy which is 3.7 on a 10 point scale and some 22% say they are doing enough to manage their stress. The APA-American Psychological Association stated, “This year’s survey continues to reinforce the idea that we are living with a level of stress that we consider too high. Despite the good news that overall stress levels are down, it appears that the idea of living with stress higher than what we believe to be healthy and dealing with it in ineffective ways continues to be embedded in our culture.” It further states,” All Americans, and particularly those groups that are most affected by stress (which include women, younger adults, and those with lower incomes) need to address this issue sooner than later in order to better their health and wellbeing. Americans who say they have someone they can ask for emotional support such as family and friends, report lower stress levels and better related outcomes than those without emotional support. Unfortunately, some of the respondents say that they do not have anyone to rely on for emotional support. According to the survey, 43 % of those who say they have no emotional support report that their overall stress has increased in the past year, compared with 26% of those who say they have emotional support.

5. In the United Kingdom, a survey carried out by the Mental Health Foundation in 2013 indicated that stress was becoming increasingly common in these difficult economic times. 59% of British adults said that their life is more stressful than it was 5 years prior to the survey. Hospital admissions for stress had also risen by 7% in the twelve months prior to the study. Money and Work related problems were the main causes of stress in Britain. People were 3 times more likely to drink alcohol to help deal with stress than go to see their doctor. A large percentage of people also said that they just keep to themselves, instead of seeking help from family and friends. The Chief Executive of the Mental Health Foundation said “The impact of current economic problems has put a lot of people under stress due to the fear, or reality of unemployment, insecure housing and high levels of debt and these results are not surprising. Unmanaged, stress can develop into serious health problems such as depression, as well as increasing the risk of physical illness such as heart disease. The results of our survey suggest that too many of us still aren’t making managing stress a priority .It’s important to recognize the symptoms of stress early. Recognizing the signs and symptoms of stress early will help you figure out ways of coping and save you from adopting unhealthy coping methods such as drinking or smoking.”

6. Signs and Symptoms of Stress Stress can affect the mind, body and behavior. It can lead to physical and mental conditions alike.

7. Emotional Symptoms • Becoming irritable • feeling overwhelmed with things • feeling lonely or isolated • becoming moody • having low mood • generally feeling unhappy

8. Physical Symptoms • rash • headache • sweating • tight muscles • painful muscles • abdominal pain • constant feeling of tiredness • dizziness • nausea • generalised aches and pains • chest pain • palpitations • irritable bowels e g diarrhea /constipation • low libido

9. Behavioural Symptoms • Sleeping too much or too little • eating too much or too little • procrastinating • not fulfilling your responsibility • too much drinking or smoking • nail biting • lip smacking • shaking of limbs • becoming isolated from friends and loved ones

10. Cognitive Symptoms • inability to concentrate • judgement errors • negative mind set • feeling anxious • forgetting things • worrying all the time. The signs and symptoms of stress as listed above are not unique to stress alone. The same symptoms can be found in many other physical or psychological conditions It is best to see a doctor if you have any of these symptoms as you cannot assume that they are just due to stress.

11. Causes of Stress Some of the common situations that can cause stress are • financial pressure • being busy at work • work stress • school stress • relationship problems • moving houses • death of a loved one • loss of job • worrying excessively • negative mind-set • being too rigid i.e not compromising • birth of a child • getting married • getting divorced • going to college • perfectionism • starting a new job

12. Stress Management Identify The most important measure is to identify what exactly causes your stress levels to rise. You can keep a diary whereby you write down when each stressful situation starts , e g date and time of the event, what you were doing, who were you with, what were you thinking about at the time, how did you feel at the time, you can even rate the stress on a scale of say 110. After about two weeks look at the diary and use it to find out the causes of your stress and how you react to it. The more you know about what causes your stress, how long they last for and how you react to it, it will be easier for you to deal with.

13. Reach out It helps to talk to other people who may be going through stressful situations. You may wish to consider joining an online forum /group on a class in your neighbourhood. It is very easy to just recoil into yourself and just do your own thing in your own way. Some people may resort to drinking which is not such a good thing to do when you are stressed. You may feel a temporary relief from your problems but such relief never lasts usually. You have to take control of the situation. It is very important to make friends and engage with them. In times of stress or troubles, your family and friends are invaluable sources of help. They will listen to you and give you their ideas on how to make the situation better. You can work with them to enable a satisfactory solution to the stressful problem. Where you don’t have any close family nearby, or you don’t get on well with your family, you could develop friendships with your neighbours or with your colleagues at work.

14. Exercises It is good to keep physically active by doing exercises .This helps to release chemicals called endorphins into the body and these chemicals help to reduce stress levels. You feel good in yourself and you can think more clearly. Exercises like brisk walking for thirty minutes a day, done three to four times a week is recommended as a way of keeping healthy.

15. Time Management Poor time management is a common reason for getting stressed. You should learn to priorities the things that need doing in the short term, medium term and long term. • You learn to focus on the tasks that matter. • Do not procrastinate and leave things till the last minute. • Some people always feel that they never have time to finish their tasks. • They need to learn effective time management. • You should work out your life goals • what do you aspire to be? • what are your life priorities? • what do you hope to become in your career or personal life. The above constitute the “big picture” as it were. Once you’ve worked out the big picture, you can then develop medium and short term objectives to lead you to your overall aims.

16. Create lists • Creating lists is another way of managing time. • Make the list to be in order of your priorities. • It ensures that you do not omit anything that really needs to get done that day. • It also “spares” your brain from having to remember everything that needs to be done. Once an item on the list is done, that can be ticked off and you will get a satisfaction from ticking off the job as done.

17. Smart Working • Wherever possible, try to finish your workload at work, and don’t form the habit of taking office work back home with you. This enables you to have a truly relaxing time at home and then you can go back to work refreshed the next day.

18. Take a break • During your lunch break, try to get away from your desk .You could decide to go on a short walk, • This helps to clear your mind and refresh you. • If there is a gym near your workplace, you could use the lunch hour to go and work out in the gym and this has many advantages for your health, e g weight loss, refreshed mind and you are able to be more productive in the afternoon at work.

19. Emails A common cause of stress is the amount of emails in our inboxes. If you don’t need to act on it, just delete it immediately. Act immediately if it needs to be acted on .If left until later you may never have the time to go back to it. Sometimes it needs actioning but you can’t deal with it immediately, you can create groups for later action in terms of priority e g short term, medium term, long term. It may be a good idea to have a set time of the day to deal with emails, perhaps first thing in the morning, just before lunchbreak and at the end of the day before you go home. However, it has to be realized that some people do need to have their email inboxes on all day so that they can receive any important emails that may come in. The same applies to going on the internet. We all know that people can spend longer time than they intended to as they keep clicking from one site to the other. You have to be disciplined about how much time you dedicate to going on the internet.

20. Create Time for Yourself In the midst of the various life stresses, you must create time for yourself to wind down and relax. If you are a parent who has to go to work and look after children in the evening, do homework with them and prepare them for the next day, it is a good idea to have a time where you can relax yourself at the end of the day. If you are a couple, it is good to have me time with your partner once the children have gone to bed. This helps to improve your relationship and keep you close to your partner.

21. Healthy Eating Habits When you are stressed, there may be a tendency to comfort eat and thereby put on weight. And you may even get more stressed by the fact that you are putting on weight when you did not intend to. Some people drink excessively when stressed or smoke cigarettes or hard drugs in order to feel relaxed. As mentioned earlier before, this will not help. • You should try to eat foods that are low in fat /carbohydrates/sugars. • Avoid processed foods as much as possible as they usually contain high levels of sugar. • Aim for a balanced, nutritious diet. • Eat regular meals. • Make your diet more Mediterranean in type, i e more fruits and vegetables. • Drinking lots of water is also good to keep your body healthy. • Be careful with what you eat close to bedtime. • Having caffeine, alcohol or a large meal can disturb your sleep. • Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, energy drinks and fizzy drinks contain caffeine and should ideally not be consumed within four hours of going to bed.

22. Volunteering It’s a good idea to give your time to the service of other people (if you have spare time on your hands).Whilst you are doing it, it takes off your mind from having to ruminate about your problems. For example, you could join the Samaritans and talk to people who may be going to through stress for one reason or the other. They hopefully would give you any necessary training. The same applies to all other areas depending on where your skill set lies, e g a chef may decide to volunteer in a soup kitchen or in a hostel for homeless people.

23. Mind-set Having a positive outlook to life generally helps to prevent you from becoming easily stressed. • Let your glass be half full and not half empty. • Always try to see the positive in people and situations, • With a positive outlook, you will develop confidence in yourself and in this way you can be in control. • Accept what cannot be changed. There is the saying that says “God give me the serenity to change the things I can, to accept the things I cannot change, and wisdom to know the difference.” If you are in for example a stressful relationship, it may not be wise to try to change your partner’s personality, it might be better if you try to understand him/her and both of you work out ways of making the relationship better.

24. Learn to say no Some people try to please other people by saying yes to everything that they are asked to do, whether it was convenient or not. They start to feel overwhelmed and stressed. You must learn to say “no, sorry I am not able to do that” to anything you are asked to do if it is not convenient for you.

25. Resilience You will need to have a resilient frame of mind in order to be able to bounce back after a period of stress. You should have knowledge of how to calm down after becoming stressed or angry with people around you. Try not to avoid the situations that you associate with stress.

26. Challenge Negative Thoughts Our thoughts and feelings affect our stress levels. It is important to recognize that they are just thoughts without any real basis and they are not necessarily facts. You must remember that the thoughts should be questioned as they are based on wrong assumptions most of the time, i.estress produces irrational thoughts and actions. Self-awareness becomes very important here, which is knowing how the stressful situation affects your thoughts and feelings and also how it affects you physically. When you are feeling stressed you need to be able to recognize an unhelpful thought such as • “I’m going to fail this exam as I have not prepared much” • In order to challenge this negative/unhelpful thought, you can ask yourself • “Have I passed exams in the past?” • “What would happen if I continue to spend time ruminating on these thoughts and not doing what I should be doing to get my desired result? • “If a friend was in a similar situation what would my advice be to the friend?” So, instead of expending time on negative thoughts and irrational fears, you will try to challenge yourself to knuckle down and do the study required for the exam.

27. Money Management Money is a major factor causing stress in the UK and America and it is particularly common in people who have children less than eighteen years of age. It is more important than ever before to talk freely about money as a family and teach the young ones how to deal with money so that they can manage their money wisely when they grow up. Discussions about money are almost a taboo amongst many families and this has gone on for generations. Aim to have a family spending plan. Focus on what are the essential expenses and those that are not essential can be done without. Have financial goals, for example, save for a vacation or a car or a house. You could put the goals on a bulletin board so that it can serve as a reminder and it helps both adults and children alike. Nowadays, money has become an abstract matter in that we use mainly credit cards and online banking to pay for stuff and rarely do people carry cash anymore. It might help to set aside a jar or a piggy bank and put coins/notes periodically so that the children can see how the savings grow. Seeing is believing as the saying goes!

28. Parents should also be cautious about what they say to their children. Parents often say things like “we cannot afford it” to their children when they ask them for stuff that they would like to have, for example, a new phone .This would make the children to have a wrong understanding of the family finances. They may start to worry that the family hasn’t got enough finances for their needs. Instead, the parents can say something like “let’s plan how to save for it “or let’s put it on your birthday list. This helps the children learn not to have an attitude of instant gratification and they will learn to have the discipline to wait until they can save the money up. When parents give monthly allowance to their children, it might be a good idea to divide the money into separate areas such as spending, saving, donating, investing. All these will create good money management skills in the children. If your family is struggling with credit card debts, it is advisable to cut up the credit cards and seek the advice of a debt specialize to find a solution. And there is an age old adage that says “cut your coat according to your size” There is so much pressure nowadays to buy the latest gadgets, electronics, designer shoes, designer clothes etc. such that people just go into unnecessary troubles to get it even when they clearly know that they cannot afford. It is a different story if you have the means to do it. The advice would be to try to live within your means If your means is not enough to cater for your needs, look for a better job or try to get further qualifications to enable you to acquire the skills or knowledge needed for a better paying job or better business opportunities.

29. Diversion When you start to feel stressed, you could try to take your mind off it by doing activities that you enjoy e g going for a walk, listening to music, having a relaxing bath or shower, or watching a favorite television program or movie. The idea is just to get your mind occupied with something pleasurable.

30. Mindfulness Mindfulness exercises are ways paying attention to the present moment using techniques such as medication, breathing or yoga. Training in mindfulness helps people to become more aware of their thoughts, feelings and body sensations so that instead of being overwhelmed by them, they can manage them better. If you practice mindfulness, you can get more insight into your emotions, boost your attention and improve relationships. Much of our stress is related thoughts and feelings about the past and the future.

31. Practising Mindful Breathing • Sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed and your back straight. • Bring your attention to your breathing • Imagine that you have a balloon in your stomach. Every time you breathe in, the balloon inflates, each time you breathe out, the balloon deflates. Take note of the sensations as you breathe in and out. Your chest and stomach will rise with inspiration and fall with expiration. • You will notice that thoughts enter into your mind, that is not unexpected, because that is what the mind does, it thinks. Just notice the thoughts and then bring your attention back to the breathing. • You may notice sounds, physical feelings and emotions, and again, just try to bring your attention back to your breathing. • Do not follow those thoughts or feelings, don’t blame yourself for having them or analyse them in any way. • It doesn’t matter how many times your attention drifts, just keep bringing it back to your breathing. • You could do this for anything from 15 to 30 minutes daily. • The more you can practice this mindful breathing exercise, the more it will help you manage your stress.

32. Deep Muscle Relaxation Deep muscle relaxation is often helpful in reducing overall levels of tension. Please read the instructions first and eventually learn them by heart. • Look for a quiet, warm, and comfortable place with no chance of disturbance. Do it at a time when you feel most relaxed. • Lie down and make yourself comfortable • Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes, breathing slowly and calmly. • Count 123 breathing in • And count 12 3 breathing out • Say the word “calm” or “relax” to yourself as you breathe out. • This exercise will take you through different muscle groups, teaching you to tense first and then relax. • You should breathe in as you tense the muscles and breathe out as you relax the muscles. • Start with one muscle group and then move on to others.

33. Hands • Clench one fist tightly and think about the tension you feel in the muscles of your hand and forearm. • Study the tension for a few seconds then relax your hands. • Take note of the difference between the tension and the relaxation. • Do the same with the other hand. • Think about how the muscles feel when the muscles are relaxed. • Think about the difference in how the muscles feel when they are relaxed and when they are tense. After the hands you can then go on to other groups of muscles such as

34. Arms • Bend your elbows and tense your hand. • Feel the tension in your in your upper arms for a few seconds and then relax. Neck • Bend your head back and roll it from side to side slowly. • Feel the tension in the muscles, then bring your head to the normal position.

35. Face • Frown your face and then relax it, • Clench your jaw and then relax it. • Notice the difference between the contraction and the relaxation. Shoulder • Shrug your shoulders up and then relax them

36. Chest • Take a deep breath, hold it in, notice the tension, then relax and return to normal breathing. Stomach • Tense your stomach muscles tightly and then relax Buttocks • Squeeze your buttocks together and relax

37. Legs • Straighten your legs and bend your feet towards your hips and then relax. • Try to practice these exercises daily. • They may be done even when you are not in your own home e g on the train, whilst waiting for the bus, when you are feeling nervous etc.

38. Aromatherapy • Aromatherapy is the practice of using the natural oils extracted from flowers and other plants to enhance psychological and physical wellbeing. The oils are known as essential oils. The commonly used ones are • Lavender • Frankincense • Rose • Chamomile • Vanilla • Peppermint • Geranium • Lemongrass • Bergamot • Cinnamon • Jasmine • Valerian They can be very potent in their pure form so they should be used with carrier oil like jojoba oil or diamond oil before use. They may then be applied onto the skin to massage the skin, or onto a handkerchief or pillow. They can also be used as bath salts. It is important to recognize the difference between pure oils and the artificially made fragrance oils which contain synthetic chemicals which may themselves not be very kind to the skin.

39. Yoga • Yoga is the oldest defined practice of self-development. The techniques that have been found to help reduce stress derive from yoga. Some of those techniques are controlled breathing, meditation, physical movement, mental imagery, stretching. Yoga derives its name from the word “yoke” which means to bring together and it does exactly that, which is to bring together the mind, body and spirit. Yoga helps to reduce stress, gives sound sleep, gives a sense of wellbeing, reduces anxiety and muscle tension. It also reduces pain and helps to improve mood. Yoga does involve some time commitment and may be difficult if your body is not very flexible as it does involve quite a bit of stretching and forming different poses. You should seek advice from your doctor before you start yoga as it may not be such a good idea in people with herniated discs, risk of blood clots, glaucoma, balance problems, pregnancy and those with uncontrolled blood pressure.

40. Reflexology Reflexology involves the application of pressure to the feet, hands and ears .The aim is to send a calming message to the central nervous system which in turn sends signals to the body to adjust the tension levels. Stress in the body can cause pain. Reflexology may reduce pain by reducing stress and improving mood. Reflexology promotes relaxation and brings balance to the body. It encourages relaxation of the muscles in the body. It also relaxes mind, body and spirit. It can feel pleasurable and relaxing to receive. It invigorates and energizes the body.

41. Medication There are some medications that can be used to treat high stress and and anxiety levels. Examples are benzodiazepines, antidepressants like fluoxetine or paroxetine. The medications however can have side effects and they can affect your ability to cope with the stress naturally. So, it is better in general to try and do some or all of the above suggested ideas first for more long lasting effects. Wishing you a better control of your stressful situations!