Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. October 22, 2004

1. Choosing Your BattlesCounting the Cost Before Going to WarA Presentation for Holzer Medical Center LDI Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. October 22, 2004

2. What’s in this for me? • In every organization, there are plenty of opportunities to fight. • But little good comes from repeatedly losing battles. • Still, a good many leaders can’t help themselves. • These leaders • Burn up precious energy, • Burn out early, and • Burn bridges and surrender the opportunity for gracious retreat. • Effective leaders choose their battles wisely—and live to fight another day. • After this presentation, you will be able to • Identify three reasons why leaders are inclined to fight. • Describe three consequences of taking on every fight, • Specify three strategies for choosing your battles wisely. • Explain why you should use these strategies, and • Explain how to implement these strategies effectively.

3. Why do some leaders get into so many organizational fights? • They feel the need to control everything. • They can’t stand to lose. • They are convinced that others are out to get them. • They have learned from poor role models. • They don’t want to be perceived as weak. • Everything is personal to them. • They are jealous and resentful. • Winning is all that matters to them. • And so on.

4. What are some of the consequences of taking on too many fights? • You will be chronically frustrated. • Your resentful rumination will sap your energy and decrease your productivity. • Your will develop a reputation for unreasonableness. • Leaders will start to avoid you. • People won’t want you on their team. • You will be seen as a barrier to progress. • Others will come to resent you. • You will eventually be marginalized. • You may lose your job.

5. What are some effective strategiesfor choosing your battles wisely? • Consider the alternatives to going to war. • Consider the worse case scenario. • Avoid impulsive decisions. • View emotional arousal as a warning.* • Seek wise counsel. • Look behind you. (Is anybody there?) • Assess battlefield conditions. • Make sure it’s not personal. • Be the reluctant warrior.* • Count the costs of losing. • Count the cost of winning.* • Consider whether you can survive to fight another day. • Create a pro and con list. • Write down your position. • Encourage opponents to make their case. • Concede quickly and gracefully when it is hopeless. • Seek to understand your opponents’ positions. • Acknowledge and legitimize feelings. • If you must fight, win.

6. View emotional arousal as a flashing red light. • Why should you? • Encourages you to recognize arousal in yourself and others • Forces you to ask, “Why?” • Reduces the chance of impulsive reactions you will later regret • Minimizes the likelihood of angry retorts and hurt feelings • Alerts you to feelings you and others have hidden from yourselves • Calls attention to vulnerability many leaders overlook • Encourages colleagues to monitor your arousal • How can you? • Recognize your own arousal. • Note others’ arousal. • Mention it aloud. • Ask tentative questions instead of being a snot. • Accept the legitimacy of arousal. • Arousal is always defensive. • Recognize that you have not yet found the best option. • Doing nothing is the best option when you are aroused.

7. Be the reluctant warrior. • Why should you? • Demonstrates your grasp of organizational reality • Casts others as aggressors • Requires you to ask and answer the hard questions • Forces you to act deliberately • Inclines you to reflect • Demands that you make a compelling case • Casts you as the reasonable one • How can you? • Instead of participating heated exchanges, observe them. • Instead of responding, explore options. • Instead of reacting, reflect. • Instead of revenge, seek remedy. • Instead of “who,” ask “why.” • Instead of personal satisfaction, seek what is best for the enterprise.

8. Count the cost of winning. • Why should you? • Reminds everyone that the cost is often unacceptably high • Forces leaders to consider less costly options • Demands that leaders consider collateral damage • Promotes reflection on the persistence of emotional scars • Recalls the power and initiative of resentment and longing for revenge • Emphasizes that all organizational wins are only temporary • How can you? • Make a lists of the anticipated costs. • Invite your colleagues to brainstorm with you. • Tell stories of long-held resentments. • Speculate about how you can permit the losers to save face. • Remind you colleagues of the personal cost to them. • Recall histories of previous, costly wins.

9. What have you learned? • Organizational infighting is common, but it is a risky, low-yield change strategy. • Nonetheless, we indulge in this destructive activity often and with painful, long-lasting results. • Because of the risks involved, it is critical to choose one’s battles wisely. • The strategies covered in this presentation will assist leaders in deciding which battle must be fought, and which battles should be avoided. • Using these strategies will lengthen your career and lessen the stress in your life.

10. Where can you learn more? • Alison Coomer, Mary Beth Dever and Michelle Kennedy, “Choosing Your Battles: Counting the Cost Before Going to War,” in A Portable Mentor for Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress, 2003

11. How can you contact me? Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. Medical Director Southern Ohio Medical Center President & CEO The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc. 1805 27th Street Portsmouth, Ohio 45662 740.356.8153 stewartk@somc.org Webmaster@KendallLStewartMD.com www.somc.org www.KendallLStewartMD.com

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