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Managing Your Stress The REBE Approach

Managing Your Stress The REBE Approach. How would feel or react? (think, feel, say, or do). A man speeds past you and cuts you off as you are driving to school. You then hear his very pregnant wife screaming for him to hurry- the baby is coming!!!. How would you feel or react?.

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Managing Your Stress The REBE Approach

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  1. Managing Your StressThe REBE Approach

  2. How would feel or react?(think, feel, say, or do) • A man speeds past you and cuts you off as you are driving to school. You then hear his very pregnant wife screaming for him to hurry- the baby is coming!!!

  3. How would you feel or react? • A student bumps you from behind and your books go flying across the hallway. You turn around and notice the student is visually impaired.

  4. How would you feel or react? • You get “dumped” by your boy/girlfriend by by a text. You haven’t been that into him/her anyway and have been eyeing someone else in English class.

  5. Why might you feel or react differently with the second statement added? What is the Missing Link?

  6. Here is the Secret! Are you ready? Emotional Management through thought control

  7. In order to excel and perform to your maximum potential, you need to successfully manage your emotions so that when the time comes to act or perform, you are: • Relaxed • Confident • and prepared for excellence

  8. THE ABC’s of EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT Dr. Albert Ellis is the creator of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

  9. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy REBT uses a systematic scientific method for teaching people how to effectively manage their emotions in a healthy way.

  10. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Where do almost all emotions and anxiety come from? Nope! • Do they come from the teachers or peers? • Do parents’ expectations of their child make them nervous and anxious? • Do emotions come from the media? • Does the ACT test cause anxiety? Nope! Nope! Nope!

  11. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Emotions are NOT causedby anything or anyone else in the world.

  12. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Thingsthat happen in the world and people in the world contribute to our emotional responses; They do not cause our emotional responses.

  13. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy* Emotions are mainly caused by our thoughts about the things that happen to us in the world.

  14. Since people cause their own emotions, they can “uncause” them as well.

  15. Here are Dr. Albert Ellis’ ABC’s of REBT

  16. It’s time to define some variables.

  17. Dr. Albert Ellis*ABC Theory of EmotionsA = Activating Event (Adversity)B = BeliefsC = Consequences (Feel, Do)

  18. The “A” in REBT stands for the activating event, sometimes called an adversity. There are three types of adversities people face in the world.

  19. Three Questions • Have you ever failed at something you wanted to do well at? • Have you ever been rejected or treated unfairly by other people? • Have you ever faced a harsh condition?

  20. The three “A’s” that people face in the world, the adversities, are called……….. LIFE!

  21. The “B” in REBT stands for the beliefs and thoughts that people possess about the (A) Activating Events that have occurred.

  22. BELIEFS* • rational- helpful to you over the long run, consistent with “facts”, self-preserving • irrational- hinders you over the long run, self-defeating

  23. C= Consequences* • The resulting emotional or behavioral reaction or response (think, feel, say or do)

  24. Event + Thoughts = Feeling > Doa + b= cActivating + Beliefs = ConsequenceEvent (feel, do)

  25. FeelingEvent + Thoughts = Feeling(constant) (variable)Feeling

  26. What does it mean? A + B = C Activating events (A) + the (B) Beliefs you have about the events cause (C) emotional Consequence!

  27. Why is this important? You can change your beliefs, your thoughts, and if you do, you’ll change your emotional or behavioral consequences.

  28. Which thoughts make you angrier? • Are they based on your opinion of the event or facts of our experienced life?

  29. Cognitive Choices • How we LOOK AT things • What MEANING we attach • What we REMEMBER about the past • What we IMAGINEwill happen next • What we FOCUS on • What we COMPARE things to • What we EXPECT (self, others, life) • How much IMPORTANCE we attach • What we spend our time THINKING about

  30. Anything youthink, feel, say or do is perfectlyUNDERSTANDABLE

  31. That does NOT mean it’s • Helpful (rational) • Healthy • Acceptable to others

  32. Put other people through exactly what you’vebeen throughAnd they’d probably end upthinking, feeling and doingwhat you do(And maybe even worse)

  33. We all do the BEST we can at the timeGiven what we’vebeen throughAnd the situations wefind ourselves in

  34. Regardless of what youthink, feel, say or do • You’ll never be the first • You’re never going to be the last • You’ll always have a lot of company • It’s part of being human

  35. More thoughts……… How do I know if my (B) beliefs are SANE and RATIONAL?

  36. Two Unhealthy Emotions Anxiety (worry or dread) LFT (Low Frustration Tolerance)

  37. Anxiety Physiological Symptoms elevated heart rate sweating feeling clammy queasy stomach hard time catching your breath

  38. Anxiety vs. Concern Concern → Anxiety → Healthy Unhealthy

  39. Frustration vs. Low Frustration Tolerance Frustration → LFT → Healthy Self-Defeating

  40. How do you know if you’re generating anxiety or concern? How do you know if your frustration is healthy frustration or LFT?

  41. Answers(Thank you Dr. Albert Ellis) If you change a thought from: RATIONAL IRRATIONAL • Must • Need To • Have To • Command • Demand • Dire Necessity • Wish • Want • Preference • Desire • Aspiration • Goal • Into a • Into a • Into a • Into a • Into a • Into a You will create unhealthy negative emotions.

  42. Here’s what it boils down to: Six Needs/Mustsexist in the world Air Water Food Sleep Getting Older Dying 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6)

  43. Some additional points.(more variables) If the consequence is unhealthy or self-defeating, you’ll move to (D) – disputing your crooked thoughts and developing an (E) – effective coping statement.

  44. SOME CROOKED THOUGHTS (irrational)

  45. Dr. Ellis has identified 4 categories of irrational (B) thoughts • Demanding – This is making the shift from a want to a need (I MUST do well, I HAVE TO). • Awfulizing – It will be HORRIBLE or TERRIBLE or AWFUL if I don’t. • LFT – I wouldn’t be able to stand not doing well; it’d be UNBEARABLE. “I can’t-stand-it-itis” • Labeling/ Damning – I’d be a total failure if I didn’t do well.

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