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HELPING EACH OTHER SUCCEED

HELPING EACH OTHER SUCCEED. Devotee Care And Guidance System. ISKCON Ljubljana 20 and 22 March 2010. SEVEN PURPOSES OF ISKCON.

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HELPING EACH OTHER SUCCEED

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  1. HELPING EACH OTHER SUCCEED Devotee Care And Guidance System ISKCON Ljubljana 20 and 22 March 2010

  2. SEVEN PURPOSES OF ISKCON • To bring the members of the Society together with each other and nearer to Krsna, the prime entity, thus to develop the idea within the members, and humanity at large, that each soul is part and parcel of the quality of Godhead (Krsna). • To bring the members closer together for the purpose of teaching a simpler and more natural way of life.

  3. SRILA PRABHUPADA Srila Prabhupada was first and foremostsomeone who truly cared, who completely sacrificed his own comfort to work for the good of others. - Mukunda Goswami

  4. HELPING EACH OTHER • Prabhupada liked to hear of his disciples helping each other to follow the instructions of the spiritual master. SDG, Prabhupada Meditations 2.2.3: Guru Means Heavy • I hope we shall very soon meet again and help each other in the matter of discharging Krishna consciousness engagements. Letter to Satsvarupa - Delhi 6 October, 1967 • … help each other to become better and better preachers of this Krishna Consciousness movement. Letter to Madhucara - Nairobi 25 September, 1971

  5. “I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU” • Once we see that “somebody’s willing to make a sacrifice for me,” that in itself gives us someshelter. • Because we think, “Oh, this person is actually thinking of me. Thinking ofmy benefit.” • Niranjana Swami

  6. GOPAL BHATTA • “I can see! You love each other! You have so much affection for eachother! And it is not pretentious.It is so obvious that even I can see it”. • Gopal Bhatta ACBSP

  7. PRACETAS • The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: My dear sons of the King, I am very much pleased by the friendly relationships among you. • All of you are engaged in one occupation - devotional service. • I am so pleased with your mutual friendship that I wish you all good fortune. • Now you may ask a benediction of Me. • SB 4.30.8

  8. TRAINING IS CARE • Adipurusa

  9. Community Principles • Responsible communication • Reliability • Mutual support • Mutual accountability • Taking initiative • Mutual benefit (win-win) • Seek first to understand • Creative cooperation (third alternative) • Clarity of purpose • Varna and asrama

  10. PURPOSE • Educatein how to live according tothe principles of their asrama • Traininphilosophy, sadhana, Vaisnava behaviour, etiquette, lifestyle and attitudes • Care and attention for all devotees to make them feel loved, wanted and part of a wonderful spiritual family • Foster warm personal relationships and a spirit of love and trust based on Krsna conscious principles • Facilitate allocation of service, organization of major events, communication of important decisions • Train spiritual leaders and preachers

  11. HOW DOES IT WORK • Some experienced devotees take on the service • Assistant Guide • Geographical, linguistic, socio-economic considerations • Preference for a particular Guide • Pesonal touch • Shelter: bring as many as possible • Fothnightly group meetings • One-to-one meetings

  12. HOW • Collective recommendations for initiation • Specialized teams • Temple president participates • Guide from the same asrama • Husband-and-wife team • Not too many to care for and guide

  13. CHOOSING SPIRITUAL GUIDES • In active Krsna consciousness within ISKCON for a fair length of time • Good understanding of the philosophy and practice of Krsna consciousness • Able to give balanced counsel based on Krsna conscious principles according to person, time, place and circumstance • Not inclined to extreme or controversial positions on issues

  14. CHOOSING • Willing to extend to help and sacrifice for others • Compassionate, genuine concern for the welfare of devotees • A good listener • Mature, sober, stable • Good standard of sadhana, etiquette, behavior, service and commitment to the mission • Properly situated in own asrama

  15. DUTY OF A GUIDE • A friend and guide in Krsna consciousness • Spiritual elder brother/sister, takes personal care of all devotees in the group • Inspires and encourages them in Krsna consciousness, monitors their progress • ProvidesKrsna conscious and general life skills training • Counsels in spiritual and other matters • Overall welfare of the devotees

  16. DUTY • Fortnightly group meetings • Recommends for first and second initiation • Actively participates in meetings of the Spiritual Guides • A good standard of sadhana, behavior and service • Sarve sukhino bhavantu • Caution: personal ambition, misuse ...

  17. TRAINING DEVOTEES • Ideal brahmacaris and grhasthas • Proper devotional standards at the temple or at home (kitchen, altar, behavior, sadhana) • Proper wife/husband/parent/child,according to scriptures • Balance economic and social responsibilities with spiritual vows

  18. TRAINING DEVOTEES • Women dealing with men, particularly brahmacharis and sannyasis; men dealing with women • Proper dealings between asramas • Dealing with other devotees, family, public • Manual of Vaisnava Etiquette and Lifestyle

  19. GROUP MEETING • Vaisnavabhajans • One of devotees presents atext fromSrilaPrabhupada’s books, discussion • Sharing realizations • Discussion on service, sadhana,Vaisnava etiquette/behavior • Issues not too personal (personal discussed in private with the Guide) • Practical committments • Kirtana, prasadam

  20. WHAT KEEPS THE GROUP MEMBERS TOGETHER? • Guide’s genuine care and love • Guide takes initiative, reaches out • An environment of love, appreciation and challenge • Benefits for those who takes careof others • Commitment to quality relationships

  21. THE "GLUE" • There is an inherentt value in good Vaisnava relationships. Not just a means to an end. Good Vaisnava relationships please Krsna already (other things need to also be in place) • Six symptoms of love (Upadesamrta) • See the needs of others first and tryto serve them

  22. GUIDES MEETINGS • Discussion on the holy name and: • Sadhana (japa, waking early, morning program, etc.) • Reading (importance ofphilosophy and reading Prabhupada’s books) • Vaisnava Etiquette (respect to everyone, how to serve/honourprasadam, personal habits, etc.) • Exemplary Behavior (26 qualities of a Vaisnava, etc.) • Reports from specilized teams • Different Guide presents each time • Management matters (if needed) • Prasadam

  23. KEY QUESTIONS • What do we want people to become? • What do we want them to do? • Where do we want them to go? • Maturing devotees • Relationship with God • Relationship with devotees • Relationship with others

  24. INTERESTINGMEETINGS • Induce creativity and innovation • Create fresh challenges • Consider personal interests • Birthdays, marriages, anniversaries • Regular, specific personal appreciation • Catch them doing things right • Fun: games, quizzes, role plays • Do personal things for them • Dynamic action after the session

  25. BHAKTISIDDHANTA • One who gives personal instruction to each and everyone does more for others than the platform speakers do. • Generally, whatever platform speakers say cannot solve the problem of everyone in the audience, nor can it always benefit every individual. • A person's defects are better rectified in a private tutorial class or private coaching than in hearing lectures in a school or college. • Therefore those who instruct particular persons separately can award them something more permanent. • BhaktisiddhantaSarasvati, AmrtaVani, page 315

  26. ONE-TO-ONE • Attentive to devotee’s needs, interests and concerns • Confidential • Supportive (believes in) • Focused on a devotee being guided • Personal issues • Sharing realizations and successes • Not a lecture • Working together to find solutions • Enlightening

  27. ONE-TO-ONE SKILLS • Listening • Questions • Problems into opportunities • Expanding options • Promoting action

  28. LISTEN • Fully understand the situation of the devotee • Give them the space to understand themselves • Listen first and seek first to understand • Remain as impartial, open and objective as you possibly can

  29. LISTEN • Interested and concerned • THEY are responsible for their lives • Clear your mind of all personal issues

  30. EXERCISE • Listen to a devotee next to you for 3 minutes. You must not make any sound, say anything, nod, shake your head or show any other signs. Repeat back your understanding of the key points they made. Ask a devotee whether you understood him or her well.

  31. ASKING EFFECTIVE QUESTIONS The purpose of asking questions is to: • Understand your devotee well • Help them understand themselves • Clarify what they want • Discover new options, opportunities, possibilities and advantages • Identify obstacles • Make an action plan

  32. EQ • What are your strengths, talents, skills, good qualities? • What do you want? • What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail? (question about an exciting goal)

  33. EQ • What one thing, if you would do superbly well everyday, would make the greatest positive difference in your life? (question about personal habits / best practices) • What can you learn from this? • How can you turn this problem into an opportunity? • What and who inspires you the most?

  34. EQ • What do you want? • Are you ready to pay the price?

  35. DISEMPOWERING QUESTIONS • Why are you so bad? • Why you don’t understand what’s good for you? • When are you going to change / shape up / grow up? • How could you do such a thing?

  36. TIP • After asking questions and listening, summarize what you have heard to be sure you have understand your devotee well.

  37. POWER OF QUESTIONS • The question that saved concentration camp prisoner’s life.

  38. EXERCISE Pair up as and take turn to speak about an issue. • Ask relevant and empowering questions until he is certain to have understood the devotee • Paraphrase back to the devotee to determine whether he has successfully understood him. The devotee should confirm it.

  39. TURNING PROBLEMS INTO OPPORTUNITIES “O Partha, happy are the ksatriyas to whom such fighting opportunities come unsought, opening for them the doors of the heavenly planets.” Bg 2.32

  40. TURNING PROBLEMS INTO OPPORTUNITIES • The way you see a problem or a task powerfully influences you action and the results you will achieve. • Help the devotee to see their problems differently: as a blessing in disguise.

  41. A TURNAROUND EXPERT • What is great about this problem? • What can I learn from this problem? • What this problem is an opportunity for? • If you would be a world expert on these issues, what would you advise? • If you would be super-intelligent, how would you deal with this problem? • What additional skills do you need to deal with this problem?

  42. A TURNAROUND EXPERT • Use questions as you see fit, in any order • Induce a devotee to see themselves as expert in solving a particular problem and learn everything they can about it from various sources (spiritual, professional, etc.).

  43. EXERCISE • Choose one problem and turn it into an opportunity together.

  44. EXPANDING OPTIONS • Gita Cards • Mindstorming • Brainstorming • Asking others • What else could I do?

  45. PROMOTING ACTION “Factually, we should be engaged 24 hours in Krsna's service and everything should be done very nicely and perfectly.” - Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Adi-kesava, Bombay 2 January 1975

  46. ACTION • Clear written goals • Plan • Accountability

  47. HELPING DEVOTEES SUCCEED • Chosen area • Clarifying what they want • Exploring options, opportunities, possibilities and advantages • Overcoming obstacles • Making a written action plan • Holding them accountable by requesting weekly reports

  48. HOLISTIC OR COMPLETE CARE • Health • Sadhana • Service • Relationships • Etc.

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