Putting Things Back Together…Effects of Disability on Farm & Ranch Families

1. Putting Things Back Together…Effects of Disability on Farm & Ranch Families Angie Fletcher, MSEd Human Development Specialist, University of Missouri Extension

2. By the end of our time today… • Define family and disability • Clarify what roles exist within a family and how disability can change and redefine roles • Identify characteristics of a strong family • Explore the implications of disability on farm and ranch families

3. By the end of our time today… • Review the grieving process and its effect/affect on individuals • Explore ways AgrAbility professionals can identify and support families adjustment to disability

4. What Is A Family? A family is defined as two or more persons who share resources, share responsibility for decisions, share values and goals, and have a commitment to one another over time. American Association of Family and Consumer Sciences

5. Who does what? • Housekeeper • Provider • Child Care • Kinships • Help-giver • Recreational

6. What makes a family strong? • Caring &appreciation • Time together • Encouragement • Commitment • Communication • Spirituality • Community & family ties • Clear roles

7. What makes a family strong? • Coping with change—all families develop habits, routines and rules. These contribute to continuity and stability. In strong families, this pattern remains flexible or adaptable enough to cope with crises or change. May require changes in habits, rules, power structure, roles and division of labor.

8. What Is Disability? An individual with a disability is defined as a person who: • has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities • a record of such an impairment • or is regarded as having such an impairment Source: Disability Information & Statistics http://www.joniandfriends.org/disability_ stats.php

9. Impact of Disability on Rural Families • Rural Location • Long drives to medical facilities, physical therapy, etc. • Fewer services offered vs. those located in town or urban locations

10. Impact of Disability on Rural Families • Financial • Decrease in income • Medical bills and costs associated with care/rehabilitation • Costs of adaptations • http://extension.missouri.edu/explore/hesguide/famecon/gh3830.htm

11. Impact of Disability on Rural Families • Responsibility • Reassignment of chores/responsibilities • Who is there or who is able to take over those responsibilities • If no one in the family is available—added stress of finding/paying someone to do chores

12. Impact of Disability on Rural Families • Challenges • Feelings of the disabled family member of being a burden • Feelings of other family members being overwhelmed by new/added responsibilities • Stress • Hopelessness • Fear

13. Impact of Disability on Rural Families Challenges (continued) • May see disability as a threat rather than an opportunity Encouragement • Renewed commitment • Satisfaction • Opportunity

14. “To us what matters is an individual…We ourselves feel that what we are doing is a drop in the ocean. But if that drop was not in the ocean, I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” Mother Teresa Disabled Individual Family AgriAbility “To us what matters is an individual. To get to love the person, we must come in close contact with him. We ourselves feel that what we are doing is a drop in the ocean. But if that drop is not in the ocean, I think the ocean will be less because of the missing drop.” Mother Teresa

15. The Grieving Process • Grief is necessary • Provide a “safe” place for interaction • Validate feelings • Grief Expectations • Grief time frame • Identifying resources and support

16. The Grieving Process • Stage I—Shock • Stage II—Recovery Expectations • Stage III—Mourning • Stage IV—Defense • Stage V--Adjustment

17. The Grieving Process Stage I—Shock • Numbness • Disbelief • Denial that anything serious has occurred

18. The Grieving Process Stage II—Recovery Expectations • Hope that this is only temporary • Things will get back to normal with a little time

19. The Grieving Process Stage III—Mourning • Grieving the loss

20. The Grieving Process Stage IV—Defense • Anger • Aggression

21. The Grieving Process Stage V—Adjustment • Acceptance • Interested in making adaptations • Goal setting

22. Communication

23. Communicating—Common Pitfalls • Judging • Labeling • Moralizing • Advising

24. Communicating—Listening Most people… • Talk at about 125 words per minute • Listen at a rate of about 400 words per minute • This Means… • We think ahead of the person who is speaking

25. Communicating--Listening • Putting aside your own thought and opinions • Openness and respect for what the other person is sharing • Sensitivity, listening for feelings and meaning

26. Balancing Responsibility How to Have a Really Bad Day… • Over schedule yourself • Be inflexible • Expect perfection • Worry about everything • Try to do it all • Take everything personally • Procrastinate • Leave your sense of humor at home

27. Factors That Cause Imbalance • Job • Family • Taking on too much

28. Stress!

29. Getting a Grip on Stress • Communicate • Delegate • Say no • Simplify • Laugh • Exercise • Plan ahead

30. Getting a Grip on Stress • Identify specific stressors • Stress Management--You can change… • how you think • some of the ways your body reacts • situation • Referral

31. “To us what matters is an individual…We ourselves feel that what we are doing is a drop in the ocean. But if that drop was not in the ocean, I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” Mother Teresa Disabled Individual Family AgriAbility “To us what matters is an individual. To get to love the person, we must come in close contact with him. We ourselves feel that what we are doing is a drop in the ocean. But if that drop is not in the ocean, I think the ocean will be less because of the missing drop.” Mother Teresa