How Are We Perceived?

How Are We Perceived? As People? As Officials? 2019 NJILOA Meeting #4

Audio: From This American Life Why Would Anyone Want to be an Official Q: Why Do We Do This? Seriously - Why?

Open Question to Everyone in the Room: Why do YOUdo this?

I can tell you reasons why none of us got into this: $$ We Will Get Rich $$ ⭐⭐ Fame ⭐⭐

What Do We WANT to Be? These are not buzz words. Think of how they actually apply to us on the field Employ These Skills: Be Knowledgeable Be Empathetic Be Hard Working Be Confident (not cocky) Be Courageous

If You Have Already Tuned Out, Thinking: “Not This Again…”: You Are The Problem If The Above Sentence Just Offended You: Case in Point

How Many Times Have You Said: ...And Meant it? “Wait, hang on a second. Let’s reconsider this. That is completely my fault.”

Ask Yourself... What Do Those Words Mean To You? • As a person • As a spouse • As a significant other • As an official

Why On Earth Are We Talking About This?

To Achieve the Goals We Set to Accomplish: We cannot achieve anything until we first understand what we are bringing to the table. We won’t be able to do even that if we are not honest with ourselves

To Achieve the Goals We Set to Accomplish: What Are My Strengths? What Are My Weaknesses? Do I use my strengths appropriately? Do I rely on my strengths too much? What Am I Doing to Improve the Areas I could be Better? The Goals: Get it Right Apply the Rules Use Common Sense Communicate Well

Which Ref Are You? The Creature of the Forest: “He runs like a deer.” Often attached to younger officials Uses speed and agility to dazzle, but lacks tact and refinement Can defer to a more senior member of a crew to communicate Mostly knows the rules, but shuts up and lets a more senior official speak in confusing situations If This Is You: Use your speed wisely and at the right time. Don’t run for the sake of running. Be there to see the play. Knowing all the rules is something you can control. Control that. Add that to your physical abilities and you’re going to soar. Stop/Don’t Start acting cocky. You’ll never move up as high as you want if people don’t like working with you. AKA Shut up and listen. Don’t become venison: If you don’t listen and learn how veteran officials communicate with coaches, they’ll keep eating you for dinner

Which Ref Are You? If This is You: Find a mirror. If money needs to be the thing you prioritize for your family, or you are OK with this reputation, then you’re golden Don’t complain why you don’t get playoff games Others with this motivation will kiss your rear end because they know you either are, or know, the assignor. But, do they respect you? If you’re unhappy with your reflection, prioritizing your time for lacrosse combined with hustle and effort correct this issue The Scrooge McDuck You sit in your money bin with your cell phone calling middle schools two days after the game asking why you haven’t been paid Every Saturday is blocked out in arbiter so you can work youth games and tournaments You’re hustling from your offseason 7-on-7 football game to get to your referee’s pregame 20 minutes late, 10 minutes before you’re supposed to be on the field You can work. Meaning, you have the skills. Others often question how much you want it.

Which Ref Are You? The Violet Beauregarde: You definitely have some abilities. But, you want the TOC Final. And you want it now. You watched it in person last year and think you’re better than at least one guy on the crew The first thing you look at when you get your schedule is which games you have. You then call the other guys you know and think, “My schedule is better than theirs, the assignors love me.” or “That’s BS. Why did he get that game and not me? I’m open that day.” You know that others have gritted their teeth before moving up, but think it wasn’t as long as they’re “making you” do it. If This Is You: Find a tranquilizer dart, and stab yourself with it. Others who sympathize with you to your face really don’t care. It’s just easier to agree with you. The two things between you and your goal are time, and you. Know that there is a plan for you, you just have to not sabotage yourself in the meantime. “Just shutting up and working is a really underrated skill these days.” - Actual words from a Division 1 Regional Assignor You’re not close to being The George Clooney

Which Ref Are You? If This is You: Take the temperature of the room and don’t forget who you are and where you came from. You’re not a better person than anyone else - act accordingly. The opportunities you have to work with others you admire shouldn’t be wasted. What you pay attention to most is now their interpersonal and team building skills The Elon Musk A rocketship has been shoved up your butt at the collegiate level, and you find yourself the crew chief on almost all your HS games. “Well in college…” is how you start most sentences when others ask you a question about a situation You are qualified to officiate any game in the state. But, you’re struggling to manage expectations and how to act and fit in around those who have more experience Your game management skills are good. Getting your philosophy across to your crew without alienating them is often on your mind.

Which Ref Are You? The Emmitt Smith (Cardinals Version): You demanded a big contract, (you’re still on some big name games) and it only took one GM to give it to you (because we need guys on Wednesday’s) You keep getting fed the rock, but you’re underperforming. You think it’s everyone else’s fault. If they were only better, you wouldn’t constantly be getting in arguments with the coaches There’s still gas left in the tank, but your short fuse on the field and general grouchy demeanor is burning through the capital you’ve built with coaches over the years If This Is You: Another candidate for a great mirror. You have the opportunity to be a hybrid George Sullenberger, but your attitude is off putting to guys If you’re finding reffing to be more of a chore than a fun exercise, give serious thought to hanging it up You have a huge opportunity to reinvent yourself. It will start with empathy. Truly understanding the situation of your partners and the coaches will allow you to soften and flourish

Which Ref Are You? If This is You: Change nothing. Keep Educating. Your biggest concern is lifelong health. Whenever lacrosse begins to infringe on that, put the stripes in a shadow box and we will find another way for you to help. If lacrosse never infringes on lifelong health... then, you’re Brody The Sully Sullenberger You landed a plane on the Hudson back in the day, you’ve seen and done it all, and now you’re blowing whistles mostly because you can manage the hell out of crisis and want to educate others You move like the - well, the aging version of your former self. Everyone knows it and no one cares Your game schedule doesn’t look anything like it did in the Glory Days, but the Elon Musk’s and The George Clooney’s often buy you dinner and truly value your advice

Which Ref Are You? The George Clooney: You’re a vet. You’re classy. Other dudes want to be you. Chicks...OK that’s too much. You’ve been around the block a whole mess of times, and the relationships you’ve built through the years have gotten you a ton of credibility with the coaches. You haven’t lost much in speed, but whatever you have you make up for with style & guile. If This Is You: Understand the power you wield. Other guys know who you are, and they watch to see how you behave. Your primary focus should be helping the other guys on your games understand best practices. When you see things your partners are doing and you know they could be doing better, address it, and do it in the tactful way that will empower, rather than deflate.

Again...Why On Earth Are We Talking About This?

Things are starting to heat up As the county and state playoffs are coming up, “tempers run high” meaning: “Players and coaches really care.” Knowing which type of ref you are, and which type of ref others perceive you to be is important. Being empathetic that it’s the culmination of months of work for all, and sometimes the last time some of these kids will ever play, will help you manage

End of Season is Like End of a Game: Why Everyone Gets so Fired UpAt Missed Calls at the end of the Game: From This American Life End of Game Calls

If All Calls are Created Equal: “The Justice at the end of games must be more exact than the beginning.” But, WHY? There is less opportunity - less time - for a team to overcome an officiating mistake when it’s made late in a game. Even though there are many other plays that a team could have capitalized on, understanding WHY those calls are so important should sharpen our focus.

With Big Games, Big Courage is Needed Stars will complain. It shouldn’t shake your resolve: Privilege in Sports and in Life From: This American Life

We Are The Objectivity ... We Are the Objectivity… ...They’re Going to Hate Us For It Knowing that: Don’t Take It Personally From: This American Life

How Are We Perceived?