How to be a Gentleman & Lady and not merely A Man and Woman

How to be a Gentleman & Ladyand not merely A Man and Woman By DR T.H. CHOWDARY Director: Center for Telecom Management and Studies Fellow: Tata Consultancy Services Chairman: PragnaBharati (intellect India ) Former: Chairman & Managing Director Videsh Sanchar Nigam Limited & Information Technology Advisor, Government of Andhra Pradesh T: +91(40) 6667-1191(O) 2784-3121® F: +91 (40) 6667-1111 hanuman.chowdary@tcs.com Talk @ TCS, KLK: 12 July 2012

Evolution • Female • Girl • Woman • Lady • Devi • Male • Boy • Man • Gentleman • Deva S669_July2012

What Brings this Transformation ? • Ennoblement Vodi - Badi - Gudi (Mother’s –School- Place of Worship) S669_July2012

What is Education (1) • Education is a liberating force, enables the individual to rise form mere materiality to superior planes of intellectual and spiritual consciousness . • Education gives us accumulated lessons of heritage to carry it forward to posterity . • The past is our foundation, the present our material, the future our aim and summit. Each must have its due and natural place in a national system of education. – Sri Aurobindo S669_July2012

We want that education by which character is formed, strength of mind is increased, the intellect is expanded and by which one can stand on one’s own feet. Education is the manifestation of the perfection already in man - Swami Vivekananda What is Education (2) S669_July2012

I firmly believe the efficacy of the education as a panacea for our social evils - Dr.B.R. Ambedkar Education is the process of individual mind getting its full possible development…. It is a long school which losts a life time -Dr Zakir Hussain Vidyayaa Vindate AmritamAatmanaa Vindate Veeryam-Deathlessness is attained by knowledge Valour is attained by self (discipline) What is Education (3) S669_July2012

What is Education (5) • Education aims at liberation - liberation from bondage and ignorance, backwardness and gravitational pulls of the lower human nature.Education should be so designed as to become a powerful carrier of the best of the heritage and it should, therefore, aim at transmitting to the new generations the lessons of the accumulated experiences of the past for further progress in the present and the future. Source: “Higher Education in India – Vision and Action” GOI’s paper for UNESCO Oct. 1998) S669_July2012

Why We Go to School? • Vidya & Buddhi • Knowledge: Wisdom (ethics, morality, humility, modesty, compassion, equanimity, equality, tolerance, reverence for life…) S669_July2012

ఆవులింత, తుమ్ము, హాసంబు, నిష్టీవఆవులింత, తుమ్ము, హాసంబు, నిష్టీవ నంబు గుప్తవర్తనములు గాగ జలుపువలయున్న పతి కొలువున్న యెడల బా హిరములైన గెలనికేగ్గులగుట ( విరాటపర్వం: 1-137)

వెలది జూదంబు పానంబు వేట పలుకువెలది జూదంబు పానంబు వేట పలుకు ప్రల్లదంబును దండంబు బరుసదనము సొమ్ము నిష్ప్రయోజనముగా వమ్ము సేత యనెడు సప్తవ్యసనముల జనదు తగుల (ఉద్యోగ: 2.44)

ఒరువేమేమి యొనర్చిన నరవర ! యప్రియము తనమనంబున కగుదా నొరులకు నవిసేయకునికి పారాయణము పరమధర్మ పధముల కెల్లన్ (శాంతి: 5:22)

Literature-Instills Values • Values, ethics, morality derived from literature greatest entrepreneurs are also greatest givers - Tatas, Birlas, Ford, Rockefeller, Carnegie, Stanford all universities in the US. S669_July2012

Ethics • For LokaSanghraha- Preservation of a Harmonious Society • Work ethic and virtue replaced by welfare ethic and opium • Mindless competition destroys economy and promotes immorality • Co-opitation promotes efficiency and optimisation • Ignoble leadership angling for votes and not building a prosperous powerful intellectual & ethical notion. S669_July2012

CULTURE • Is the sum total of one’s being towards himself; family; society and God • To know something of everything and everything of something • Is obedience to unenforceable laws • A gentleman/lady is one who never inflict pain upon others • We must so live as to “add to the sum total of happiness” in the society/world S669_July2012

Cultured Conduct • Modesty, Vinaya • Greeting, Poorvaabhashi. [Sumathi….] • Not done in public [sneezing, yawning, spitting, blowing, guffawing …. • Queuing when more than one. • Not speaking on Cell-phone in lifts, waiting rooms, public places. (Smoking is injurious to public health; even passive smoking so is cell-phone talk in lifts, auditoria, Qs……) • Talking, walking, gesticulating S669_July2012

Deportment • No right to be ugly • No need to be beautiful, assumed airs • Modesty in dress, speech • Stand on both legs (no donkeying) • Do not lean against walls, doors • Do not press lift button again and again • Speak softly (loudness), clearly, not fast (Churchill to his colleague) S669_July2012

Looking……. • Looking, seeing, noticing, observing • Dress [Jeans, tights…….] Eswara Chandra Vidyaa Sagar • Shoes (socks), not chappals, slippers • Driving – [No horn, keep to your lane, Head-lights,….Cross-roads…] S669_July2012

Culture Cultivation • Literature • Memorising, reciting (Vaakshuddhi) • Personal library • Family Life-dining table as “Class-room” • How to be a guest • How to ‘meet’ – not w/o appointment • Calling back/Return Calls • Writing a diary S669_July2012

Culture Cultivation (Contd) • To-Do Note-Book – Review • Memorise names – most sweetest is one’s own name • Never ask “can you recall my name?” “Do you remember me?” • Use “aap”, “Sir”, “Meeru” • Visiting elders, teachers – never with empty hands • Best gifts – Good books, flowers….. • Gratefulness – Thanks • Forget the good deed; Regret inability (Chittaranjan Das episode) S669_July2012

Telephoning • How to display number +91 (40) 2784-6137 • How to annunciate a number: eg: 22233556 double two, two three; three five, five six • Answer promptly • Say: Namaskar! Bahuguna speaking Or Namaskar! Sri Bahuguna’s Office • If wanted party is not there, offer to take a message, caller’s name, number, time of call, message; tell you would inform……” • will you call back or expect to be called. • Caller: Identify yourself • Right number; wrong person or wrong number S669_July2012

Modesty…(contd) • A good leader takes a little more than his share of blame, a little less than his share of credit -Arnold H. Glasov • When the Gods would destroy, they first make him mad with power. -Historian, Charles Beard S669_July2012

Modesty…..(contd) • But man, proud man dressed in a brief little authority ignorant of what he is most assured his glassy essence, like an angry ape plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven, as make the angels weep -Shakespeare, ‘Measure for Measure’ • Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much wisdom is humble that he knows no more. -William Cowper S669_July2012

Vision • One man with conviction is the majority • Life’s battles are often won not by those who are strong but by those who think they can. • Hannibal [30,000 against 150,000] • Churchill’s Battle of Britain S669_July2012

Vision • We will make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. -Thomas Alva Edison • Cities, countries and continents will be connected and people will talk to one another from anywhere, anytime, to anyone……. -Alexander Graham Bell S669_July2012

Vision (Contd) • We will make telephony cheaper than a post-card - DhirubhaiAmbani • (1978) GharGhar Mein Radio GaonGaon Mein Telephone -THC • (1997) Hath Hath Mein Telephone; GaonGaon Mein Internet - THC S669_July2012

Wealth accumulates ….Men decay…. Ill fares the land to hastening ills a prey, Where wealth accumulates and men decay, Prices and lords may flourish or fade, A breath can make them as a breath has made, But a bold peasantry, their country’s pride When once destroyed can never be supplied - Goldsmith in Deserted village. ‘I want an India where the peasants are not beguiled or intimidated into giving up their lands for Mr. Nehru to build castles in thin air through co-operative farming…” --Rajaji S669_July2012

Information……Life Where is the Life we have lost in living Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge Where is the knowledge we have lost in information The cycles of heaven in twenty centuries Bring us further from God and nearer to the dust. -T.S. Eliot S669_July2012

Abraham Lincoln “You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money. You cannot keep out trouble by spending more than you earn. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man’s initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them What they could do for themselves.” - (Source: Freedom First, May 1989) S669_July2012

Delegation Jethro said to Moses, ‘You are not doing it the right way, you will wear yourself out and these people as well. This is too much for you to do alone. You should choose some capable men and appoint them as leaders of the people, leaders of the thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens…they should be god-fearing who can be trusted and who cannot be bribed… -Book of Exdus, CH 18, Verse 17 Here lies a man who knew how to enlist in his service better men than himself -Andrew Carnegie S669_July2012

H.W.Longfellow The lives of great men do remind us That we too can make our lives sublime And, departing, leave behind us Foot-prints on the sands of time S669_July2012

Books for Reading • How to Win Friends & Influence people – Dale Carnegie • The Human side of Enterprises - Douglas Mcgregor • My years with General Motors – Alfred P Sloan • A Japan which can say “No” to America • Kautilya’sArthaSastra • Are You Listening – Dr T H Chowdary • The Creation of Wealth - JRD Tata S669_July2012

Books for Reading (Contd) • Shantiparva in Mahabharata • Sundara Kanda (Ramayana) – Hanuman to Sita • GitaRahasya by LokamanyaTilak • Bharthrihari’sSubhashitas • Sumathi & VemanaSatakas • Rama CharitaManas – Tulasi Das • Krishnavatara – KM Munshi • Women in the Bible S669_July2012

Dhanyawad:Thank You S669_July2012

How to be a Gentleman & Lady and not merely A Man and Woman