How to deal with negative people

1. How to deal with negative people

2. Don’t Take It Personally • Chances are the guy who cut you off would have cut anybody off, he didn't single you out. The same applies to cranky coworkers. When you take things personally, you act on your emotions and lose the ability to think logically.

3. Trust That the Other Person Also Wants Harmony • If you approach a difficult person believing he is as eager as you to clear the tension, you empower yourself to make the first move. Don't be afraid to use phrases like "I'm sorry" or "I could be wrong." They lower defenses and open the door to progress.

4. Have a trusted friend or confidant? Share the situation with them. Ask what they think, and what they would do in your place. Another person's perspective can help you see the problem in a new light Ask Advice

5. Choose Your Battles • Determine what is really important in your business, your relationships, and your life, and fight for those things, but let the little stuff slide. Turning every negative encounter into a full-scale battle is not only draining, it takes time away from the things that are truly important.

6. Expect the Expected • If a coworker makes a rude comment every time you order dessert, don't expect it to change the next time. Work on a positive response like "Thanks for being so concerned about my health." It turns the tables and removes their ammunition peacefully.

7. Work to Understand Their Motivation • This is the real secret to long-term improvement. If done properly, this will not only improve your relationship, it can help them change their perspective. How do you begin? Simply ask. Ask why they behave the way they do. Why they made that comment. Chances are, they'll be more than happy to answer. You may have to ask more than one question to get to the heart of the issue, but once you reach the core, you'll not only come to a new understanding of that person, you'll be able to help them shift their attitude or help them move on. The key? Approach them sincerely. It's amazing what can come from an honest desire to help

8. It’s Impossible to Please Everybody • No matter how competent and wonderful a person you are, you just can’t please everybody. Many times, people who are known for being difficult just haven’t learned yet how to think of anyone other than themselves, which makes it hard for them to be considerate of others. They may also have a very negative outlook on life, perhaps because of a troubled past or because of their current situation. Their negativity may be very deeply rooted within many years of heartache, so the first thing you have to realize when dealing with difficult coworkers is that although they may not have just cause for their bad attitude, they may be dealing with a lot of stuff that’s simply out of your reach.

9. Be Prepared for Conflict • The best way to deal with a negative situation is to see it coming. If you’re going to have to work closely with or otherwise deal with a toxic coworker, know ahead of time how you’re going to handle the situation. Set up the conflict in your head and work through how you’re going to handle it. Know your own limitations and be prepared to uphold your morals and values. Don’t let go of your self-confidence and don’t allow them to get under your skin. Recognize their problems as their own problems, not yours.

10. Don’t Fuel the Fire • You’re going to be tempted to retaliate – to lash out at toxic coworkers in an attempt to try and "make them understand" how their negativity is affecting you. However, 99% of the time, this is the worst thing that you can do. People who thrive on being difficult and causing tension also thrive on controversy. Any exchange of negative words makes them feel powerful and fuels their need for pessimism. "Kill them with kindness" is the best piece of advice for dealing with situations involving difficult people. They will either become too frustrated or too bored with you, eventually become disinterested in engaging in debate with you. Once they back off, your work situation can become more focused on the actual work, relieving the pressure of dealing with this difficult coworker.

11. Lend a Helping Hand • Although not beneficial in all situations, sometimes difficult people are looking for an ally – someone to spill their heart to and vent their pent up frustrations to. Just by being a good listener, you may be able to better the situation between you and this coworker that you find to be so difficult. Once you’ve broken down the wall of conflict, you may then be able to give suggestions on how this person could improve their attitude to help both your work situation and theirs. If they are not receptive to your input, try using a neutral third-party to navigate the conflict into a compromised outcome.

12. Remember • There’s no reason why you should give somebody the power over you to determine whether you’re going to have a good day or a bad day.