Social-emotional development of the preschooler

1. Social-emotional development of the preschooler Unit 5

2. Taking the Initiative • Becoming more independent • Improved abilities • Limitless energy • Strong desire to learn and explore

3. Erikson – Initiative vs. Guilt • Initiative = The ability to think or act without being urged. • Developing initiative is important because it sets the stage for ambitions later in life. • Yet, initiative can lead to failures. Too many failures can lead to guilt. • Guilt = Blaming yourself for something done wrong. • SO… caregivers need to make sure children know that it is OK to make mistakes!

4. Showing Responsibility • First step toward dependence • Adults should show examples • Select age-appropriate tasks • What are some chores that would be appropriate for a preschooler?

5. Emotional Patterns • Increased need – independence • Many will venture out of the home environment for the first time • Preschool, Headstart, kindergarten • Unfamiliar adults, large group of kids • Each child responds differently • Certain milestones

6. Four Years • Most still self-centered • Defiant, impatient, loud & boastful • Might argue & be bossy (kids & adults) • Other times = loving & affectionate • Need & seek approval of parents & caregivers • Want to see self as separate from parent/caregiver • Want to do things for their self (independence) • Vocabulary & language skills – improve • Test sounds of language • Rude words – test adult reaction

7. Four Years • Active Imagination • Rich fantasy life • Mind cannot separate fantasy from reality • Active imagination + fantasy = FEARS • Caregivers – acknowledge fears & talk about them

8. Five Years • View self as a whole person (mind, body & feelings) • Eager to explore, however they will experience fear of unfamiliar people, places & experiences • May experience anxiety or stress about the strangeness of school & unfamiliar routines • Important to help them cope – listening to concerns, offer love & support

9. Five Years • Emotionally Impulse • Wander around, talk, play – whenever they want • School – must sit still, listen & focus • Start to learn to control their impulses • Feel more empathy for others (understand how someone else feels) • Better able to play together • Able to see another person’s point of view

10. Six Years • Emotional turmoil – state of extreme confusion or agitation • Find role outside of the home • Long to feel grown up – small & dependent • Stubborn & quuarrelsome • Center of the own universe • Please others to win praise for self • Behavior horrible for parents • Rapid mood changes • Stronger feelings of happiness & joy • Appreciation of more activities • Nice time to start activities

11. Emotions • As Children grow – better able to recognize & express a variety of emotions • Growing feeling of competence – master various activities – helps control their emotions • Continue to experience fear – however nature of those fear change

12. Anger • Think back to when you were younger, how did you express your anger?? Has it changed?? Why??

13. Anger and Aggression • Anger – Expression changes the most during early childhood • Anger and Aggression being around 10 months of age. They peak with displays of temper in the toddler years and continue in the preschool years. • Preschoolers tend to hit and bite less than toddlers. • Yet they tend to threaten and yell more! • Boys are more physical and girls are more verbal even in the preschool stage!

14. Anger & Ages • Four years • episodes last longer • Use physical violence • Threaten & attempt to get even • Five years • More likely to hurt other children’s feeling than hurt them physically • Six Years • More hurtful with words • Tease, nag & make fun

15. Anger • Frustration – major cause of anger • Child’s tolerance for frustration increases as they grow • Former frustrations – eliminated • By 6, better social skills = deal with situations that lead to anger • Disagreements with other kids – common cause • Use scapegoats • Criticism – another source • Scold a child for doing something wrong – child will try to punish parent by breaking another rule

16. Anger • Varies greatly in children • Children ten to imitate the behavior of adults • Caregivers – express anger in appropriate ways • Page 407. Analyze

17. Fear • Imagination – major emotional force • Ghosts, monsters • Dark, being left alone, abandoned, thunder, lightning, school

18. Critical Thinking • Page 409

19. How can Caregivers help?? • Accept the fear • Listen, saying you understand- great help • Never say that fear does not exist, it DOES to the CHILD • Let the child express fear without ridicule • Fear being made fun of • May not open up • Help the child feel able to face the fear • Talking & act help • Reading a book

20. Fear • Sometimes, fears are justified. • Action must be taken • Bully at school

21. Jealousy • Sibling rivalry – common • Caregivers – unintentionally make the problem worse • May try to improve behavior by comparing • Damage a child’s self-esteem & undermine family relationships • Express feelings by: • Tattling • Criticizing • Lying

22. Caregivers • Encourage cooperation & empathy • Avoid taking sides • Give children a change to work through their own problems • Sibling rivalry tends to fade

23. Worry • Children worry • Tension – emotional stress • Fire in home • Stranger taking them • Bully in the neighborhood • Active imagination

24. Worry • Emotional strain & Physical symptoms • Stomachaches, headaches, and sleeping difficulties • Cry, scream or throw tantrums • Bite nails, swing legs or grind teeth

25. Ways to reduce worry & tension • Look for the cause • Ask them to draw a picture • Give children time to calm down • Time out • Provide chances to get rid of tension • Physical way of releasing stress • Read a book about the issue causing stress • Maintain normal limits on behavior • Do not ease up on limits

26. At your table, • Create a list of issues and situations that might cause stress in children 4-6.

27. Questions??? • What is self-confidence?? • How can you build a child’s self-confidence? • Who is more physical in expressing violence

28. Self-Confidence • New skills & dealing with unfamiliar situations = increased self-confidence • Self-confidence – belief in one’s own abilities • Start taking the initiative & making decisions on their own • Erikson – encouragement = self-confidence • Repeated discouragement/punishment = feelings of inferiority or inadequacy

29. Self-Confidence • Provide opportunities for preschoolers to perform well • Internal satisfaction goes farther than praise • Self-esteem will help develop self-control • See world in terms of all or nothing • How will this hinder their self-esteem??

30. Self-Confidence • All or nothing • Projects – does not go their way = “I can’t do anything right” • Self-esteem & self-confidence = lowered • Important – children experience more successes than failures

31. Self-Confidence • Show Respect • Offer choices • “Because I said so” – not effective • Give Praise & Encouragement • Good Job, I appreciate that • Plan Actives • Challenging, but not overwhelming • Children need down time • Encourage Individuality • Opportunities

32. Write a dialogue • Between a parent and child in which the parent is encouraging the child. • Write an effective dialogue, one with a purpose, use appropriate language and quotation marks. • Make sure it reflects the age, personality and background of each person.

33. Causes of Anger and Aggression • Preschoolers use aggression to • Get their way • Hurt another • Gain attention • Gain affection

34. Fear and Anxiety • Some toddler fears fade away and preschoolers develop new fears, some increase. • Fear of the unknown • Monsters, Robbers • Fear of physical injury • Fear of death by fire, auto accident, drowning, the fear of bites from insects or animals • Fear of pain caused by medical and dental work • Anxiety of a general nature • Fear of a tornado may spread to thunderstorms and high winds

35. Feeling and Controlling Emotions • Preschoolers still react to common childlike stressors (situations that cause stress) • These may include: • Illness • Moving • Death • Adult quarrels • Divorce

36. Feeling and Controlling Emotions • Controlling outward signs of emotions such crying, screaming and hitting to help children become socially acceptable! • However, if children control emotions without admitting their underlying feelings to themselves and others, they may become emotionally troubled. • Children need to express themselves! • “I am angry.” • “I am afraid.”

37. Dependency • Preschoolers feel a conflict between their need for dependence and independence! • Sometimes preschoolers ask for help and they really do need it and other times they ask for help even when they don’t!  • Emotional Dependence: The act of seeing attention, approval, comfort and contact.

38. Social & Moral Development • With your knowledge of a preschooler’s emotional development, what problems might occur when preschoolers play in a group??

39. General Social Patterns • As children enter preschool and kindergarten they must learn three important social skills • How to interact with new people • How to make friends • How to work & play in organized groups • Learn to take direction & accept authority from others outside the home • Determine right and wrong – act accordingly

40. How do you think social development will differ at the different ages: 4, 5 & 6

41. Four Years • Form friendships with playmates • Engage in cooperative play • Play in groups of 3-4 • Share toys, take turns • Often bossy & inconsiderate – fights • Family is still more important • Seek approval, “I’m good at drawing pictures, aren’t I?

42. Five Years • More outgoing & talkative • Play in groups of 5-6 • Play – more complicated • Fights – less frequent • Name-calling & wild threats • More respect for other’s belongings • Concerned – what their friends say and do • Do not want to be thought as different – they do not want to be ridicule • Gossip starts (friends, who has what toys) • What the group values, behaviors that are desirable

43. Six Years • Social relations – friction, threats & stubbornness • They want everything • Want to do things their way • Best friends – usually same sex • Play in mixed groups • No regard for team effort – they will just stop playing

44. What would you do?? • You are caregiver playing a game with a five year old boy and his eight year old sister. The boy is obviously cheating. His sister is about to complain. What do you do??

45. Family Relations • 4 years • Close ties • Want to feel important • Proud – help with chores • Quarrel & bicker w/siblings • 5 years • Delight in helping at home • Play better with siblings • Protective of younger siblings • 6 years • Do not get along well with family members • Self-centered • Argue with adult family members • Rough & impatient with younger siblings • Fight with older siblings

46. What do you think??? • Why do you think it is emotionally difficult for some parents to enforce the standards of behaviors they have set for their children?

47. Moral Development • The process of learning to base one’s behavior on beliefs about what is right and wrong • Begins early in life • Preschoolers start to learn the reasons for rules • They start to develop conscience – inner sense of right and wrong that guides an individual’s behavior • Rules they learn in ECH – form the basis of their developing conscience

48. Do you think that boys and girls develop a sense of right and wrong at the same time?? Support your answers with evidence.

49. Guidelines for Moral Development • Set clear standards of behavior • Respond to inappropriate behavior • Talk about mistakes in private • Understand children will test your limits • Consider the child’s age & abilities • It is a lifelong task to learn self discipline • Continue to show love despite misbehavior

50. Handling Lying • Remember: Preschoolers have a hard time telling fantasy from reality. • At times, they are not deliberately lying. • You can show you know the difference, “ I will listen to your story and then I need to know what really happened.” • Lying at this is a misunderstanding • Child may think they completed task – so they will tell you they did. However, you do not think so • Be sure the child understands the instructions/directions