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ACT TWO

ACT TWO. BANQUO. ACT TWO. SCENE ONE. It sure is a dark night tonight. FLEANCE. BANQUO. ACT TWO. SCENE ONE. Who’s there?. FLEANCE. BANQUO. MAcbeth. ACT TWO. SCENE ONE. A friend. FLEANCE. BANQUO. MAcbeth. ACT TWO. SCENE ONE.

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ACT TWO

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  1. ACT TWO

  2. BANQUO ACT TWO SCENE ONE It sure is a dark night tonight. FLEANCE

  3. BANQUO ACT TWO SCENE ONE Who’s there? FLEANCE

  4. BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE A friend. FLEANCE

  5. BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE Why aren’t you asleep? I have been dreaming of the weird sisters. They sure told you what was up, huh? FLEANCE

  6. BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE I haven’t really thought of them at all. Hey Banquo, you always got my back, right? FLEANCE

  7. BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE Sure, so long as I keep my conscience clear and stay loyal to the king, I’m your man. Good night. FLEANCE

  8. BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE FLEANCE

  9. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE Hey servant.

  10. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE Tell my wife to ring the bell when my drink is ready.

  11. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE

  12. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE Am I seeing a dagger? I can’t touch it, but it’s there, leading me to Duncan’s room. My eyes are messing with me.

  13. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE And now I’m seeing blood on it… I’m an instrument of evil now. Oh, this sucks. Here goes nothing…

  14. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE ONE There’s the bell. Hear it not, Duncan, for it will call you to heaven or hell.

  15. MACBETH Lady ACT TWO SCENE TWO Getting the guards drunk has made me excited!

  16. MACBETH Lady ACT TWO SCENE TWO Who’s there? What’s going on?

  17. MACBETH Lady ACT TWO SCENE TWO Damnit! My stupid husband is making so much noise, he’ll wake up the guards! If Duncan hadn’t resembled my father as he slept, I would have killed him myself.

  18. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE TWO Oh man, I’m freaking out! I heard Malcolm and Donalbain talking in their sleep. One laughed, and the other cried “murder!” They woke each other and prayed. I tried to join them but I couldn’t pray!

  19. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE TWO Baby, you’ve got to chill out. Don’t think about it.

  20. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE TWO But then I heard a voice that said “Macbeth has killed sleep, so he will sleep no more!” I need to sleep – what am I going to do?

  21. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE TWO What? You’re talking crazy talk. Go wash the blood off your hands… Hey, is that the daggers in your hand? You idiot! Those are murder weapons! Go put them in the guards’ hands!

  22. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE TWO Hell no! I’m not about to go back there!

  23. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE TWO You sad little idiot. Give me the daggers. I ain’t scared of the dead and sleeping. If Duncan’s still bleeding, I’ll use the blood to cover the guards’ faces.

  24. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE TWO

  25. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE TWO KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK What’s up with that knocking? Why am I so freaked out? Will all the oceans of the world clean the blood off my hands? No, my hands will dye the seas red.

  26. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK SCENE TWO I got just as much blood on my hands, but my soul is white. Come on! Someone is knocking on the door. We have to get cleaned up and be ready.

  27. MACBETH Lady MAcbeth ACT TWO KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK SCENE TWO They’ll wake Duncan with that noise… If only they could…

  28. ACT TWO SCENE THREE KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Alright, alright, I’m coming. If I were the porter of hell’s gate, I’d be opening the door a lot these days. Knock knock, who’s there? A farmer who killed himshelf because his crops failed. Come on in to hell and be ready to shweat. PORTER

  29. ACT TWO SCENE THREE KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Who’s there? A shmooth talker who lied all through life, but couldn’t talk his way into Heaven. Who’s there? A tailor who ripsh off hith clients. Oh, well, here in hell you can do shome cooking, right? PORTER

  30. ACT TWO SCENE THREE Man, open the door already! Enough of this foolishnesh. Here you go. Don’t forget the Porter. PORTER

  31. ACT TWO SCENE THREE PORTER

  32. ACT TWO SCENE THREE What took you so long? PORTER LENNOX

  33. ACT TWO SCENE THREE Sorry, I’ve been drinking, and it provokes three things – red faces, sleepiness, and urine. It also provokes horniness, but undoes it at the same time. I’m so wasted, man. PORTER LENNOX

  34. ACT TWO SCENE THREE Is Macbeth up? PORTER LENNOX

  35. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE Hey Macduff, Lennox, what’s up? LENNOX

  36. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE I told the king I would wake him up around now. I’ll go wake him. LENNOX

  37. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE Dude, it was a crazy night. The wind blew hard and we heard screams in the night and the earth shook. LENNOX

  38. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE No kidding. LENNOX

  39. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!!! LENNOX

  40. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE DUNCAN IS DEAD! LENNOX

  41. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE SAY WHAT?! SAY WHAT?! LENNOX

  42. MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE LENNOX

  43. ACT TWO SCENE THREE EVERYBODY WAKE UP!

  44. MACBETH Lady BANQUO ACT TWO SCENE THREE The king is dead! Dead, I tell you! MALCOLM DONALBAIN

  45. MACBETH Lady BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE It’s true! It looks like his guards did it! They were drunk as skunks! MALCOLM DONALBAIN LENNOX

  46. MACBETH Lady BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE Yeah, I was so pissed off that I just killed both of those guards! MALCOLM DONALBAIN LENNOX

  47. MACBETH Lady BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE What?! Why did you do that? MALCOLM DONALBAIN LENNOX

  48. MACBETH Lady BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO SCENE THREE Yeah, I was just so angry… I had to kill them… um… MALCOLM DONALBAIN LENNOX

  49. MACBETH Lady BANQUO MAcbeth ACT TWO Oh dear, I’m so faint. SCENE THREE MALCOLM DONALBAIN LENNOX

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