The SysOp's guide to running a really cool BBS.

1. The SysOp's guide to running a really cool BBS.

2. Electrik Kool Aid

3. SysOps are a slightly eccentric breed. Often they provide an outlet for

4. countless computer hobbyists that is free to everyone but the SysOp. In

5. return they tolerate abuse of their system, receive 3:00am phone calls

6. from users who have forgotten their password, incur substantial expenses,

7. and get very little, if any, acknowledgment that they exist as anything

8. more than the person who writes the logon announcements.

9. The low cost of the required hardware, the plethora of BBS software and

10. the relative ease with which a BBS can be run allows many people to enter

11. this somewhat bizarre profession in increasingly larger numbers. Though

12. often SysOps come and go as the passing fancy is crushed by the first

13. month's phone bill, there are those who enter and stay for the long-haul.

14. Telecommunications activity tends to snowball. Once a critical mass is

15. reached, more people are using BBSes and hence more want to run one. In

16. any area of notable size there may be several or several hundred systems

17. all competing for the finite pool of users and their limited spare time.

18. For a humble novice-SysOp to enter the ranks of the truly-exalted old

19. timers of the realm, s/he must make efforts and choose options that will

20. make his/her BBS "really cool" and hence a place everyone wants to call.

21. * DESIGNING A REALLY COOL BBS

22. Naming your BBS is very important. Select a name that simply drips with

23. the uniqueness of your board. Preferred examples include Pirate's Cove,

24. [YOUR NAME HERE]'s Corner, Electronic Connection, The Dungeon, Satan's

25. Lair, The Asylum, USS Enterprise, or anything dealing with "The Hitchhiker's

26. Guide to the Universe" books.

27. The first impression a user has of your system is the intro screen. While

28. geeks may choose something modest that gives the BBS name and baud rates

29. in one or two colors, it is essential to spend 40-50 hours using THE DRAW

30. to make an awesome screen that contains all the ANSI colors and several

31. references to all the k00l people who are your co-sysops. Long-distance

32. callers especially appreciate screens that take 45 to 120 seconds to draw,

33. and no system is complete without a crude drawing of a PC with flashing

34. disk-access and modem lights.

35. Adepts of the art will also make every effort to ignore computers that do

36. not handle ANSI commands properly. Certain programs for the Amiga and the

37. Mac will lock-up tight when subjected to obscure ANSI commands - especially

38. those that remap the keyboard. If you, by chance, happen to have a 1200 baud

39. modem it is critical that you animate your intro screen showing daggers

40. flying through the air, and people vomiting, urinating or ejaculating.

41. More action is better and will demonstrate to everyone that you have no life.

42. Some anal-compulsives tend to feel spelling is important. It is in your

43. best interest to ignore these idiots and use phonetics rather than the

44. dictionary for your opening screen.

45. * LOGON

46. Truly great BBSes need to have SysOp announcements. These should be long-

47. winded, obscure, and non-abortable. Special consideration should be made

48. towards keeping the same one for 9 or 10 months. Requesting money in

49. exchange for special access is also highly recommended - really absurd

50. figures (E.G. $200) can be justified by phrases that promise to spend the