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Strategies for Providing Mentoring and Social Supports to Students with Repeated Behavior Challenges. Training Purpose.
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Strategies for Providing Mentoring and Social Supports toStudents with Repeated Behavior Challenges
Training Purpose The purpose of this training is to prepare personnel mentoring a student who is receiving supports because of repeated behavior issues with the knowledge, skills, and strategies necessary for a positive mentoring experience
Training Module Overview Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities Module 2: Forming Relationships Module 3: Building Meaningful Discussions Module 4: Understanding Basic Behavior Patterns
Mentor Training Module 1:Mentor Responsibilities • Module Purpose • The purpose of this module is to provide an explicit overview of your role and responsibilities as a mentor
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities • Mentees are students who: • Need access to supportive, encouraging, positive adults • Have begun to demonstrate a pattern of conduct problems • Mentoring is one part of a support plan that is using combinations of strategies to help the mentee make positive choices and get on a positive path
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities • Questions to think about: • What draws you being a mentor? • What do you expect the mentoring experience will be like? • What do you hope to get out of being a mentor?
The role of a mentor is to: Listen Encourage Cheerlead Support Respect the student’s choices Advocate Be helpful It’s not the mentor’s job to “fix” the student; solve their problems; or “fix” what is wrong in the student’s life Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities • Take responsibility for establishing a regular meeting schedule • Help mentees to practice and reflect on newly learned social skills or other intervention strategies • Maintain the student’s confidentiality • Participate in progress monitoring • Contribute to the oversight of the mentoring program
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities • Take responsibility for establishing a regular meeting schedule (scheduling is the mentor’s job, not the student) • Establish a predictable 30-60 minute weekly meeting schedule • Be consistent and reliable • Keep your word • Show up on time • Periodically check-in on the student outside of the meeting schedule (“Just stopped by to say hello….”)
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities Help mentees to practice and reflect on newly learned social skills or other intervention strategies (e.g., self monitoring) Be familiar with the student’s Student Support Plan Model skills Help student to reflect on how they are doing Provide support and encouragement Identify where the student needs more assistance
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities Maintain the student’s confidentiality Don’t share personal information Meetings are private Mandatory reporting is legally required if there is any indication that this student: Will harm him/herself Is being abused (e.g. emotional, physical or sexual) Will harm someone else
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities Participate in progress monitoring Seek out help when a problem comes up Communicate problems with the mentor relationship Provide updates when requested Attend meetings when invited Complete feedback tools
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities Contribute to the oversight of the mentoring program Complete feedback tools Attend trainings or program design meetings
Mentor Training Module 1: Mentor Responsibilities • Questions to think about: • To what extent are the responsibilities described consistent with your expectations of being mentor? • How confident/comfortable are you with the expectations described?
Mentor Training Module 2:Forming Relationships • Module Purpose • The purpose of this module is to provide some suggestions and strategies to help you develop rapport and relationship with your mentee
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships • The heart of mentoring and subsequently it’s success is the relationship that is formed between you and your mentee. Research suggests: • Strong positive relationships with adults is one factor that contributes to a child’s development of resiliency • Connectedness with even 1 adult in school, is a deterrent to making poor social and behavioral choices
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships • Take the time to get to know each other • Find things you have in common – opinions, activities, music, movies, etc. • Build shared experiences - do things together (even if it is within school such as having lunch) • Show and tell your mentee that he is important to you
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships • Examples of relationship building activities: • Share pictures or examples of personal hobbies/interests • My favorites are…./I can’t stand…. • Timed activity to list as many things that are your favorites/things you can’t stand – then review with other to find some common ground
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships The Basics of Communication Effective communication is the foundation for any productive relationship Consider these tips for being a good communicative partner
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships The Basics of Communication Listen with your body: make eye contact, sit still, face the student Sit in a helping posture -- Sit up in your chair with your legs crossed or together or stand up with your feet about a shoulder's width apart in a relaxed stance. Slouching, resting your head on your hands, shifting positions, etc. signals boredom, fatigue or restlessness.
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships • The Basics of Communication • Use Neutral Signals: Brief verbal or nonverbal responses that show the speaker that you are following the conversation: "I see. Go on.“ • Paraphrase and Summarize: summarize what the student is saying to capture their emotions and concerns concisely: "If I understand you, you feel Jim was purposely making you look foolish and your first reaction was to get angry."
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships The Basics of Communication Acknowledge the student’s perspective: let the student know understand their perspective– even if you don’t agree with it. It’s ok to let the student know you have a different opinion as long as you respect the mentee’s perspective Listen with your intuition: pay attention to underlying feelings and values in the student’s tone of voice, facial expressions, body language and in the content of what's being said
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships • Doing These May Undermine Your Mentoring Relationship • Inconsistently meeting with the mentee • Focusing the relationship on trying to change the mentee’s behavior • Arguing or constantly opposing the other person's point of view • Interrupting your mentee • Talking more than you listen • Telling long-winded stories
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships Doing These May Undermine Your Mentoring Relationship Passing judgment on your mentees actions or choices Demanding your mentee behave a certain way Imposing personal values or beliefs on your mentee Giving advice instead of working together to find alternatives Not recognizing your mentee’s right to her own opinions
Mentor Training Module 2: Forming Relationships Doing These May Undermine Your Mentoring Relationship Having the last word Showing annoyance Using “hot” kid jargon to appear “cool” Jumping to conclusions Pressuring your mentee to disclose personal information Abusing confidentiality Blaming (the mentee or others)
Mentor Training Module 3:Building Meaningful Discussion • Module Purpose • The purpose of this module is to provide mentors with the knowledge, skills, and strategies needed to • (a) be an effective listener • (b) facilitate meaningful discussions with mentees • (c) handle potentially difficult conversations that might come up
Mentor Training Module 3:Building Meaningful Discussion • Basic Principles of Giving Feedback • Mentors are often giving their mentee feedback on various situations • Giving feedback constructively will increase the likelihood that the mentee will use the information and can help to build the mentor-mentee relationship • The following are strategies to make feedback giving effective
Mentor Training Module 3:Building Meaningful Discussion • Basic Principles of Giving Feedback • Ask permission or identify that you are giving feedback. Examples: • “I’d like to give you some feedback on how you handled the situation. Is that OK?” • Describe what you observed and be specific. State facts, not opinions, interpretations, or judgments • Use the first person: “I think”, “I saw”, “I noticed”
Mentor Training Module 3:Building Meaningful Discussion • Basic Principles of Giving Feedback • When making suggestions for improvement, use statements like “you may want to consider…” • Feedback should address what a person did, not your interpretation of his or her motivation or reason for it. Example that includes interpretation: • “You didn’t use the count to 10 strategy. I know you want to finish because it’s almost lunch time, but…”
Mentor Training Module 3:Building Meaningful Discussion • Basic Principles of Giving Feedback • Use the “feedback sandwich” approach • Start with a positive observation (“it was good that you…”) • Constructive critical observation or suggestion about how to improve • Second positive observation, summary statement • Avoid using judgmental labels (e.g., “lazy” or “careless”) • Avoid terms that exaggerate (e.g., “you always” or “you never”)
Mentor Training Module 3:Building Meaningful Discussion Suggestions for Framing Discussions Be sensitive to your mentee’s circumstances and life as a kid Learn to “read” your mentee Disposition, facial expressions, cooperativeness Provide lots of encouragement Express your opinion but respect your mentee’s right to make her own choices, even when you disagree with those choices. Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions before you project them onto others.
Mentor Training Module 3:Building Meaningful Discussion • Suggestions for Framing Discussions • Use questions that opens the door for follow up (i.e., avoid questions with 1 word answers): • Tell me about something that stood out for you this week? • Tell me how you decided to handle……? • Listen for unspoken conversation (i.e., things the student is implying without actually saying) • Use probing questions to expand the conversation; follow up on something said; looking for places to ask a follow up
Mentor Training Module 3: Building Meaningful Discussions • Suggestions for Framing Discussions • The Famous Person Connection • How do you think “so and so” would handle this situation? • Use current examples in the media of popular figures to frame a conversation and prompt reflection • Ask questions that prompt reflection • “How’s that working for you?”
Mentor Training Module 3:Building Meaningful Discussion • Suggestions for Framing Discussions • Respect your mentee’s privacy: avoid asking questions about sensitive information about your mentee. e.g., • “Are you sexually active?” • “Are you using drugs?” • “Do you like Mr. Smith?”
Mentor Training Module 3: Building Meaningful Discussion • Identify Your Personal Disclosure Boundaries • Often a mentor will need to grapple with finding a comfortable boundary between sharing personal information and keeping aspects of your life private • Give thought to what personal information you are/are not comfortable sharing a mentee • Be clear ahead of time of where your comfort level boundary exists so that you are prepared to answer difficult questions in a genuine manner
Mentor Training Module 3: Building Meaningful Discussion • Responding to Sticky Questions • Sometimes, students will ask “sticky” questions or questions that make us a squirm a bit while figuring out what to say • Handling these types of situations is important – you need to find the balance between redirecting the student and not shutting the student down
Mentor Training Module 3: Building Meaningful Discussion • Responding to Sticky Questions • Take a minute and talk about what questions a student might ask you or has asked you in the past that would make/made you feel uncomfortable • If you have a situation you can recall, how did you handle it?
Mentor Training Module 3: Building Meaningful Discussion • Responding to Sticky Questions • Answering sticky questions genuinely • “I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to ask me this question, but some information people prefer to keep to themselves. This is a good lesson, if someone asks you something your not comfortable answering you should say so.” • “How would knowing the answer to that help you to make a decision?” • “I would rather focus how we can work to a solution that will be good for you.”
Mentor Training Module 3: Building Meaningful Discussion • Responding to sticky questions • Avoid answering sticky questions with responses such as: • “That’s none of your business” • “It’s inappropriate for you to ask me that question” • You don’t want to inhibit the student from asking questions in the future
Mentor Training Module 4Understanding Behavior Patterns • Module Purpose • The purpose of this module is to familiarize mentors with the basic principles of behavior patterns to help you understand: • (a) the reasons why your mentee engages in problem behavior • (b) why the various interventions, including mentoring, were selected for your mentee’s Student Support Plan
A Simple But Common Example • Context: The student has academic difficulty (e.g., problems with reading) • Trigger: The student is given a challenging assignment (e.g., completing math word problems independently) • What Happens: Student engages in off task, refusal, or disruptive behavior • The Result Is: Teacher addresses student in some way (e.g., redirects, gives help, sends to office)
What Does the Student Learn? When I am frustrated, I act out. When I act out, Someone comes and helps me OR When I act out, I’m sent out of the room and avoid the work
Understanding Behavior Patterns Why do students act out? What does it get them? What does it get them out of? Why is that some students act out and others don’t? What makes a student resilient? What places a student at risk of failure?
