Grief 101: Mind, Body, & Soul

1. Grief 101: Mind, Body, & Soul Meredith Naidorf, MD Psychiatrist in Private Practice New York, NY

2. What is Grief? • Grief is a reaction to loss • Which invites the question….

3. What is Loss? • Death • Breakup • End of any important relationship • Realization a dream will never come true (infertility, fantasy about perfect parents) • Early Loss coming up again later

4. Component Parts of Grief • Emotions • Thoughts • Sixth Sense Experiences • Physical Sensations • Behaviors

5. Grieving as a Process • Loss may be something that happens to you, but grief is a process you go through • There is no right or wrong way to grieve • Grieving and not grieving can both change you • Denial and the wish not to grieve

6. How Do We Grieve? • There is no prescription, no right way, no wrong way • Models that describe grievers • Elizabeth Kubler-Ross • Bowlby and Parkes • Worden

7. Kubler-Ross: 5 Stages • The 5 stages: • Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance • Designed for grief over one’s own impending death • It’s a cycle, not a straight line (or a vortex) • Meant to be descriptive, not prescriptive • Wish for the world to make sense again • No one can tell you how to grieve

8. What Can Help Me Grieve? • Acceptance of your own process • Listen to your needs and be kind to yourself • Family and Friends • Support Groups like AMF • Therapy • Are medications appropriate? • Grief as a spiritual or religious journey

9. Acceptance of your Process • Try to give yourself permission to feel however you feel right now • Feeling sad (or any other emotion) now does not mean you will feel sad forever • Engaging in the process will help you to come out on the other side • Refusing to feel our feelings leaves us frozen in time with those difficult feelings we are scared to engage with

10. Be Kind to Yourself • Try not to judge yourself for feeling however you feel • And if you do judge yourself, try to let that be without judging the judgment • Ask yourself what you need right now, what would feel like the best self care

11. Support from Family & Friends • Great if they’re supportive • It’s ok if you don’t experience your friends or family as understanding– you don’t have to reach out if it makes you feel worse • Just being around people who care about you may feel soothing.

12. Support Groups like AMF • Connecting through your grief • Letting yourself be known by people who want to support you • Grief is not a contest • You are not alone, others have had similar experiences

13. Therapy • Therapy is a special way of talking and listening that is helpful • Many types • Supportive • Psychodynamic • Mindfulness-based • Mixed modality • Different from friendship • Can be transformational • Is there a stigma?

14. Are Medications Right for You? • Grief and Depression are different • It’s normal and healthy to feel sad over a loss • You might want to consider meds if: • Recurrent suicidal thoughts • Mood/anxiety getting in the way of functioning over time • Prolonged sleep/appetite/energy/concentration disturbances • Meds and therapy are not mutually exclusive– they can work well together

15. Grief as Spiritual Journey • Grief can be a transformational experience • Deeper relationship to self, other, the world • Widen your awareness • Meditation while grieving • Yoga while grieving

16. Conclusion • Grief is a reaction to loss that may be experienced in mind, body, and soul • Each person’s grieving process, like each person, may have similarities and differences with others • Ask yourself what you need most right now. Resources available include self-love and acceptance, drawing support from family and friends, support groups like AMF, psychotherapy, medication, spiritual practice

17. Questions? • Meredith Naidorf, MD • (917) 880-7585 • Thank you!