1. Persuasive Essay Adding Evidence and Commentary

2. Table of contents in your writing journal • Persuasive Writing 1 • Persuasive Thesis 2 • Persuasive Evidence 3 • Persuasive Commentary 4

3. Persuasive Evidence • If your thesis is what will be discussed during your whole argument- Mom, I need to tell you that even though you want me to finish all of my homework before going to the dance, I think I should be able to go no matter what because I helped clean the house and I am getting A’s in all of my classes. • And your topic sentences represent your reasons why (you should be allowed to go to the dance)- I understand why you want me to finish all of my homework before going to the dance; I helped clean the house; I am doing excellent in all of my classes. • Your evidence provides proof to back up your argument- I will only have two hours on Sunday to finish all of my homework and I will not get home from the dance until 10:30 tonight OR I spent four hours on Wednesday evening cleaning the house up for you, OR on PowerSchool all of my grades show up as 90% or above.

4. Persuasive Evidence • Evidence must… • directly support your topic sentence and thesis statement • prove your argument • Example: • Thesis • Even though Curley’s wife was just lonely and did not understand Lennie’s potential danger, Curley’s wife is to blame for her own death because she tried flirting as a way to conquer her loneliness, and continued to scream even after Lennie told her to stop. • TS: #1 (Opposing argument) • T.S. #1: Some may believe that Curley’s wife died by Lennie’s hands alone because it was her loneliness that drove her to find companionship with Lennie and she did not fully understand his potential danger. • Evidence: • “I get lonely […] you can talk to people , but I can’t talk to nobody but Curley” (Steinbeck 87). • Note: If you cannot find evidence that supports your T.S. and thesis, you may have to change them. Do not try to make them work!

5. Integrating you evidence into your paper • Your evidence must be imbedded (a part of your sentence) • Example: • As Curley’s wife entered into the barn she became angry at Lennie for not speaking to her and exclaimed, “I get lonely […] you can talk to people, but I can’t talk to nobody but Curley” (Steinbeck 87). • NO “SAID”!!!! Try and find other words to go in place of the dreaded “said”. • stated, exclaimed, demanded, roared, claimed, questioned… (this word should depict the tone of the character)

6. Persuasive Commentary • The goal of commentary is to explain the significance of your evidence and persuade your audience to side with you. • Cannot be a summary of the novel or a recap of your evidence. • What about for your opposing argument? • Commentary should explain the significance of the opposing side (as much as you do not agree with that side, I am sure there is some strength to their argument)

7. Example • Thesis • Even though Curley’s wife was just lonely and did not understand Lennie’s potential danger, Curley’s wife is to blame for her own death because she tried flirting as a way to conquer her loneliness, and continued to scream even after Lennie told her to stop. • TS: #1 (Opposing argument) • T.S. #1: Some may believe that Curley’s wife died by Lennie’s hands alone because it was her loneliness that drove her to find companionship with Lennie and she did not fully understand his potential danger. • Evidence: • “I get lonely […] you can talk to people , but I can’t talk to nobody but Curley” (Steinbeck 87). • Commentary: • Because all of the men at the ranch are afraid of getting “canned” by Curley, all of them shun Curley’s wife when she comes to visit with them. She feels alone on a farm with all men and nobody to talk to. She is merely trying to find solace as she comes into the barn with Lennie because she knows he is an outcast much like herself. She feels he is harmless and even resorts to calling him a “big baby”. She foresees no danger when interacting with Lennie and only hopes that he may actually listen to her dreams.

8. Putting your Body paragraphs together I. Topic sentence • Must also be stated in your thesis • Must connect to your evidence II. Second sentence: provides context for your evidence • Sets up the when, where, and who of the quote you will use III. Third sentence: is a strong piece of evidence that supports your refutation(and thesis) • Directly taken from the text with correct parenthetical citation IV. Next two-five sentences: analyze, comment, and reflect on the significance of your evidence in order to persuade your point. These sentences are not to simply summarize your evidence. IIV. Last sentence: wraps up the refutation and provides a transition into the next paragraph.

9. Example Some may believe that Curley’s wife died by Lennie’s hands alone because it was her loneliness that drove her to find companionship with Lennie and she did not fully understand his potential danger. While Lennie was in the barn dealing with his dead puppy and reflecting on the trouble he will be in once George finds out he had killed yet another creature, Curley’s wife pokes her head in the barn in hopes of finding some company to talk to. As Curley’s wife entered into the barn she became angry at Lennie for not speaking to her and exclaimed, ““I get lonely […] you can talk to people , but I can’t talk to nobody but Curley” (Steinbeck 87). Because all of the men at the ranch are afraid of getting “canned” by Curley, all of them shun Curley’s wife when she comes to visit with them. She feels alone on a farm with all men and nobody to talk to. She is merely trying to find solace as she comes into the barn with Lennie because she knows he is an outcast much like herself. She feels he is harmless and even resorts to calling him a “big baby”. She foresees no danger when interacting with Lennie and only hopes that he may actually listen to her dreams. Although loneliness overcame her at that moment, it was her subtle flirting that led to her demise.

10. Challenge • Search for strong evidence to support your thesis and each of your three topic sentences. While you do this, I will be available to help anyone still struggling with their thesis and/or T.S. • When you finish, write out the commentary to support your evidence.

11. Homework • Fill in the remainder of the three body paragraphs in your outline. • Type them into the format I provided on my website. • Bring 2 copies of your outline to class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!