A Questioning Faith:

1. A Questioning Faith: How do we raise children in a Post-Christian world?

2. Post-Christian • The Constantinian Paradigm is no longer- Church no longer center of Western culture • Christianity and culture no longer accommodate each other

3. When did it happen? “…one of us is tempted to date the shift sometime on a Sunday evening in 1963. then, in Greenville, South Carolina, in defiance of the state’s time-honored blue laws, the Fox Theatre opened on Sunday.

4. Seven of us – regular attendees of the Methodist Youth Fellowship at Buncombe Street Church – made a pact to enter the front door of the church, be seen, then quietly slip out the back door and join John Wayne at the Fox. That evening has come to represent a watershed in the history of Christendom, South Carolina style. On that night, Greenville, South Carolina- the last pocket of resistance to secularity in the

5. Western world – served notice that it would no longer be a prop for the church. There would be no more free passes for the church, no more free rides. The Fox Theater went head to head with the church over who would provide the world view for the young. That night in 1963, the Fox Theatre won the opening skirmish.” William Willimon

6. A Pastor’s Inside Perspective? “All of us who serve parishes have many stories of this genre in our collection of ‘can you believe it?’ tales about ministry – youth sports team coaches who think nothing of scheduling practices or tournaments on Sunday morning; civic leaders who have no sense of the rhythms of liturgical life in the Christian communities of their towns; teachers and directors who demand that our

7. young people give them greater loyalty than they do their churches. Even harder to take is that many of our own members see their children’s participation in parish life as just another of the many options for personal enrichment available to them. How many times do our youth miss involvement in a church activity because of a conflict with ballet class, a language lesson, or a play

8. rehearsal? And with their parents’ un-reflective approval? At times, it seems as though the church is the only ‘activity’ in town that doesn’t tell you that you can’t play if you miss a practice. Indeed, the sermon that created some of the most negative feedback I’ve ever received was one in which I made the audacious proposal that partici-pation in church life for children and youth ought to be more important than their participation in other community activities.” Jim Kitchens

9. A Great Opportunity “The world is once again acting like the world. This leaves the church with the challenge of once again acting like the church. We need to take up the job that was always ours, the job of becoming a community in which Christians lives can be formed.” Martin Copenhaver

10. How do we raise our children in a post-Christian world? • 6 guidelines • Rooted in our faith tradition and scripture • Not exhaustive, rather suggestive • Based on Dolores Curran’s book- “Traits of a Healthy Family”

11. 1. A Community Centered Discipleship Training • Old model- send kids off to church school • New model- surround children with a community of faith as often as you can

12. Notable realities • General time commitments (one month) 160 hours at school 160 hours watching TV 30-40 hours in sports/other activities 4 hours at church

13. What does it look like? Faith development is everyday Discipleship opportunities are key You are the best model

14. 2. Creating Rituals and Traditions • Old- Assumed that by being an American, one learned what it meant to be Christian • New- No longer can assume anything. Creating distinctive Christian rituals and traditions

15. “it is a great tragedy that we allowed religion to become a subject to be taught rather than a belief to be ritualized in our daily lives. Faith is rarely passed on because of nuances in doctrine and theology. It is passed on because of the difference it makes in daily life. The best way of experiencing this difference is through traditions and rituals.” Dolores Curran

16. What does it look like? Regular prayer times Reading Bible stories Modeling stewardship Family participates in missional activities

17. 3. Teaching a Christian world view • Old- to be a good person was to be a Christian, they were both mutual • New- the Christian worldview can be at odds with the post-Christian world

18. “Within the child there is a developing moral sense…I happen to think it is God-given, that there is a craving for a moral order. I would say that a child has a need for ‘moral articulation’ of what the world is all about, what it means, and what life is all about.” Robert Coles

19. What does this look like? • Conversations about why we pray, baptize, participate in communion, give to others, must forgive and love our enemies. • Creating an environment where church life is central not just another activity in the week • Discuss current issues or life experiences from a Christian point of view

20. 4. Service to Others • Old- service to others is optional • New- service to others shapes our life “Some families get tied into competition – they try to rear children who are the biggest, the best, the prettiest, the smartest, and all that. Others don’t care about that. They want kids who care about others and who give a little of themselves.” Delores Curran

21. What does this look like? • Discussion and modeling of serving rather than being first • Model what success is for a servant Christian • Always include children in missional activities • Explain to children why we do these activities

22. 5. Affirmation and Support “Family affirmation and support are not luxuries but necessities in our lives. If we don’t experience them as children, we may spend the rest of our lives seeking them from strangers.” Delores Curran

23. What this looks like? • Provide a Christian foundation and then support the individual journey

24. Experiential Faith Primary learning through action rather than thinking Immersion into the world of faith

25. Affiliate Faith Search for a sense of belonging Peer groups and significant adult mentors

26. Searching Faith Testing of received faith tradition Experimentation with other beliefs or practices Withdrawal from formal religious practices

27. Owned faith This is what I believe! Pass your faith on to next generation

28. 6. Prepare for faith in a pluralistic world • Old model- There is our way (right way) and everyone else • New model- there is our way and many other ways. • I need to know who I am as a Christian to better understand and accept those who are different

29. What does this look like? One day my daughter Emma saw a woman walking toward us in a veil and asked the inevitable, ‘What’s that, mommy?’ Emma, ‘I answered, ‘That lady is a Muslim from a faraway place. And she dresses like that – and covers her head with a veil – because she loves God. That is how her people show they love God.’

30. My daughter considered these words. She stared at the woman who passed us. She pointed at the woman, then pointed at my hair, and further quizzed, ‘Mommy, do you love God?’ ‘Yes, honey,’ I laughed. ‘I do. You and I are Christians. Christian ladies show love for God by going to church, eating the bread and

31. wine, serving the poor, and giving to those in need. We don’t wear veils, but we do love God.’ After this, Emma took every opportunity to point to Muslim women during our shopping trips and tell me, ‘Mommy, look, she loves God.’ One day, we were getting out of our car at our driveway at the same time as our Pakistani neighbors. Emma saw the mother, beautifully veiled, and, pointing at her, shouted, ‘Look Mommy, she loves God!’

32. My neighbor was surprised. I told her what I had taught Emma about Muslim ladies loving God. While she held back tears, this near stranger hugged me, saying, ‘I wish that all Americans would teach their children so. The world would be better.’”