A father that disciplines his children is communicating to them… “I care about you”
Discipline=Love I will not allow destructive patterns to take root in your life which may potentially destroy you in the future.
As Father’s we have the responsibility to set the example for our children, through discipline and biblical instruction. • Through a Fathers love and instruction and by God’s grace, our children will learn the importance of restraining themselves and honoring God with their lives. • To establish Godly character.
What it isn’t…“Punishment” causing someone to “suffer”for a crime or for bad behavior.
What it is…“Correction” Disciplineis dealing with their way of thinking as well as their behavior. If done appropriately it will always be accompanied by instructionand a change in attitude, which leads to a change of heart.
The Basic’s • A United front • Love Language • Childishness vs Foolishness • 1st Time obedience • The Appeals process • Consequences • The Results
The Heart Correcting our Children’s behavior is not as important as the opportunity we have in shaping their “Hearts”.(Character) The most important decision that they will ever make is their attitude towards Godand His Son Jesus.
If we fail to explain the reasons “Why” we fail toprovidethem with the tools necessary to shape their character and develop a sense of morality. 1 Cor. 10:12,13 Job 28:28 Psalms 34:11 Titus 3:8 Exodus 18:20 Hebrews 4:12 Proverbs 1 Romans 12:1,2 Psalms 119:105 1 Cor. 13:11 Romans 6:12-14 Hebrews 5:14 2 Timothy 3:16 Titus 3:8 Psalms 111:10 Mat 5:29 Isiah 1:18 2 Peter 1:2-9 2 Cor. 10:3-6
It starts with us! You do not have the ability to impart what you do not posses.
Deuteronomy 6:7,8 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up…
God commands us to love our wives, to be patient with them just as God has been patient with us. Eph 5:25 The way we treat our wives as men will have a lasting impact on our children.
You husbands in the same way live with your wives in an understanding way. 1 Peter3:7 • How we talk to her. • How we talk about her (Protect her privacy). • How we defend her honor. • Consult her on important matters (Consider her opinion). • Affection (Hugs and Kisses).
A United Front • Set the example by taking the initiative. (don’t wait for your wife to act). • Discuss discipline in private (do not contradict one another). • Do not disagree in front of your kids. • Back-up your spouse (in matters pertaining to correction) • Avoid a child centered home (Balance).
Understanding your child’s natural bent… will go a long way to helping you establish a deeper relationship with them.
What is your child’s love language? • Quality time. • Acts of service. • Physical touch. • Words of affirmation (Encouragement). • Gifts.
Childishness vs Foolishness • Childishness is usually followed up with the statement “It was an Accident”. Basically just kids being kids. • Foolishness - any action, attitude, or behavior where the child has received instruction and the consequences have been clearly defined.
Childishness vs Foolishness A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness,but physical discipline will drive it far away. Proverbs 22:15 NLT Discipline your children while there is hope.Otherwise you will ruin their lives.Proverbs 19:18NLT
Childishness vs Foolishness He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Proverbs 13:24 NKJV
1St time obedience • This is the most critical and effective tool that a parent has at their disposal. • It sets a level of expectation that will be firmly established and sets the tone for how our spouse as well as the siblings will be treated. • Helps to avoid being overly critical, or nagging.
1St time obedience • If you don’t expect it…you won’t get it! • Discuss the issue • Give a reasonable amount of time to comply • Be consistent and reasonable • Follow through • Be respectful and calm • Never discipline in anger
The appeal process • It should always be respectful. • Helps to avoid misunderstandings. • Lets them know that they have value and that their opinion matters. • “No Negotiations”
Consequences • The consequences should be laid out in advance and clearly explained (Biblical Model) • The punishment should fit the crime (Effective) • If there is no change in attitude then there has been no change of heart. (That’s its Purpose)
Consequences • Discipline should be focused on breaking their “will” rather than their “spirit” (defiance, etc.) • Avoid exasperating your child (Discouragement) • Always follow up with fellowship (Physical touch & Words of encouragement)
The Result of Godly Parenting • Peace - In our homes and in our families • Respect – Wife and Children. • Deeper and more meaningful relationships. • Children obey out of “Honor” rather than duty or fear. • Our children choose to follow Christ.Proverbs22:6
The Wrap-up! • Discipline begins with us (a right relationship with God). • Love your wife (strengthen the relationship). • Reassess my relationships (Ask God, my wife and my children for forgiveness and commit).
The Wrap-up! • Begin to apply biblical principles to raise my children(It’s not too late). • Recognize that they are a gift from God (their spiritual and physical well-being is our responsibility). • Pray(be specific). • Study (Daily seek Gods wisdom in matters regarding my family).
To lead his family with passion and strength, loving them enough to pass on the truth and the wisdom of God’s word. Luke 9:23-25
Next Week… Teaching - Steve Phipps Topic - Loving your wife