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Understanding and Managing Difficult Behavior in Children. The Art of Positive Parenting Donald A. Lichi, Ph.D. EMERGE Counseling Services. “Let’s Go Out to Eat!!”. The Biblical Basis of Parenting . Establishing the Authority What are some warnings? Pray for and with your child
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Understanding and Managing Difficult Behavior in Children The Art of Positive Parenting Donald A. Lichi, Ph.D. EMERGE Counseling Services
The Biblical Basis of Parenting • Establishing the Authority • What are some warnings? • Pray for and with your child • Ephesians 6:1 • Colossians 3:20
Train Up A Child“Let’s Go To A Party” • Six Major Personality Types • Typically a mix of 2-3 major “types” but have some characteristics of each
What Is My Child’s “Bent”? • Realistic • Investigative • Artistic • Social • Enterprising • Conventional
Realistic Type • Interests – Sports, Outdoors, Tools, Machines • Work Activities – Equipment, Tools, Building, Fixing things • Values – Tradition, practical things, common sense
Investigative Type • Interests – Science, Math, Language, Ideas, Theories • Work Activities – Lab work, Analyzing data, Research • Values – Independence, Curiosity, Learning, Asking “Why and How?”
Artistic Type • Interests – Self-expression, Art, Music • Work Activities – Writing, Creating Art, Making Music • Values – Beauty, Originality, Independence, Imagination, “I’ll do it my way!”
Social Type • Interests – People, Teamwork, Service to Others • Work Activities – Teaching, Explaining, Helping • Values – Cooperation, Generosity, Service to Others
Enterprising Type • Interests – Business, Politics, Leadership • Work Activities – Selling, Managing, Persuading • Values – Risk Taking, Status, Competition, Assertiveness
Conventional Type • Interests – Organization, Information, Finance • Work Activities – Setting up Procedures, Organizing, Using Computers, Keeping records • Values – Accuracy, Stability, Efficiency, Standard Operating Procedures
What Is My Child’s Bent? • Realistic • Investigative • Artistic • Social • Enterprising • Conventional
Who Will Be My “Best Friend?” • Best? – Usually the one like me or the one right next to me • Least? – Usually the one opposite me?
Four Types of Communication • You are not going outside if you don’t pick up your toys! • If you don’t pick up your toy, you are not going outside! • If you pick up your toys, you can go outside! • You can go outside…after you have picked up your toys!
The Misbehaving Child… • There usually is a goal • What am I feeling?
Non-conflict time Expect to be tested Follow through with consequences (No nagging!) Five Steps of Positive Discipline
Five Steps of Positive Discipline • Re-assure • Re-teach
Behavior Mediation Training • Think about consequences • What did I do? • What happens that I don’t like? • What should I do instead? • What happens that I like?
WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT EVERY CHILD? • LOVABLE • VALUABLE • FORGIVABLE • CHANGEABLE • NEVER ALONE
Many ways to say.. “Well Done!!” …and a few more words…. Be An Encourager!
And Some New Words… • “Tough” • “Because I Said So” • “I See You Have Decided”
Keeping Track at School • “Inspect what you expect” • Work with your child’s teacher • Give teachers the benefit of the doubt
One Step At A Time When you sow an action, you reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny. LIFE CHOICES MAKE A DIFFERENCE!