Family structure and parenting

1. Family structure and parenting “The structure of parenting in Mauritius and the evolution of the Mauritian family” -Types of families -Parenting: the dual role of parents-nurture and structure -Parenting education

2. Types of families • Families offer companionship, security, and a measure of protection against social evils in today’s world. But family structure, like society at large, has undergone significant changes in the years since World War II. • George Murdock a family is defined as “a social group characterized by common residence, economic co-operation and reproduction. It includes adults of both sexes, at least two of whom maintain a socially approved sexual relationship and one or more children, own or adopted of the sexually co-habiting adults.”

3. Types of families • 1. The Nuclear Family is traditionally thought of the parents and the siblings. • 2. The extended family refers to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. This type of family structure may form due to financial difficulties or because older relatives are unable to care for themselves alone. • 3. Single parents.  Traditionally, single parents are thought to be a product of a divorce, but a widower or a mother who had never been married can also be a single parent.

4. Types of families • 4. Stepfamilies.  Now, as the stigmas against divorce and remarriage continue to dissolve, more and more stepfamilies are coming together. Stepfamilies can be an opportunity to forge new, lasting, loving bonds. It involves two separate families merging into one new unit. It consists of a new husband and wife and their children from previous marriages or relationships. • 5. Foster care family, also known as Alternative Care, provides children and young people with a safe, nurturing and stable home to live when it is not possible for them to live at home with their parents or family. 

5. Types of families • 6. Childless Family • While most people think of family as including children, there are couples who either cannot or choose not to have children. The childless family is sometimes the "forgotten family," as it does not meet the traditional standards set by society. Childless families consist of a husband and wife living and working together.  • 7. Grandparent Family • Many grandparents today are raising their grandchildren for a variety of reasons. The child is raised by his grandparents, and the parents are not present in the child's life. This could be due to parents' death, addiction, abandonment or being unfit parents.

6. Types of families • 8. Empty Nest Family: In this family, the children have moved out of the home and the parents reside together. • 9. Transnational family: These families live in more than one country. They may spend part of each year in their country of origin returning to the adopted land on a regular basis. The child may spend time being cared for by different family members in each country. • 10. Gay or Lesbian family: A family where one or both of the parents’ sexual orientation is gay or lesbian. This may be a two-parent family, an adoptive family, a single parent family or an extended family.

7. Types of families • 11. Co-custody family: An arrangement where divorced parents both have legal responsibility for their children. Children may alternatively live with both parents or live with one and have regular visit with the other. • 12. Conditionally separated families: A family member is separated from the rest of the family. This may be due to employment far away; incarceration; hospitalization. They remain significant members of the family.

8. Types of families • Observations: • 1.The mother-father model of the ‘nuclear family’ is no longer the norm as step-parent families, same-sex parent families and single parent households are increasing in number. Many people, organisations and institutions may now contribute to the health and wellbeing of children through networks of kin, education and childcare support; most families, however, still comprise a mother and/or a father who are responsible for childrearing and who identify with the role of mother, father or parent.

9. Types of families • 2. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to what is the best type of family structure. As long as a family is filled with love and support for one another, it tends to be successful and thrive. However, the widely circulated claim that same-sex families are “no different” from intact, heterosexual families is not settled science. New studies suggest that children do best when they are raised by their biological parents in a stable, intact marriage. Ana Samuel • Source: http://www.familystructurestudies.com/summary

10. THE DUAL ROLE OF PARENTS: NURTURE AND STRUCTURE • In the nurture role, you take care of your children’s basic needs, such as food, medical care, shelter, clothing, etc., as well as give love, attention, understanding, acceptance, time, and support. • You listen to your children, are patient, and have fun with them. You make time for your kids, show an interest in them and their activities, and encourage them to pursue their passions. • Through your words and actions, you communicate to your children that they are loved and accepted. Typically, when you are in the nurturing role, you enjoy and accept your children as they are and do not expect any change in behavior.

11. THE DUAL ROLE OF PARENTS: NURTURE • When you are nurturing, your children: • feel good about themselves. • feel lovable and worthy of being cared for. • feel listened to – learn their ideas, feelings, and needs are important – and feel that they are understood. • become trusting because they know that their needs will be met. • learn that they can tackle difficult situations and face challenges because they do not have to face them alone – you will be there to support them. • are able to give back to other people through the emotional support they are given from you. This builds their ability to empathize with others. • It is through loving and supportive early parent-child relationships that the foundations for future healthy relationships are formed. 

12. THE DUAL ROLE OF PARENTS: STRUCTURE • The structure role: In this role, you give direction, impose rules, use discipline, set limits, establish and follow through with consequences, hold your children accountable for their behavior, and teach values. • You provide the guidance that helps your children to change, grow, and mature. Responsible behavior, in line with your children’s maturity levels, is taught and expected. • It is in the structure role that you expect change in behavior and increased growth, maturity, and ability.

13. THE DUAL ROLE OF PARENTS: STRUCTURE • When you provide this kind of structure, children: • feel a sense of safety that rules will be in place when they can’t control their own impulses – you will be there to stop them, guide them, and be in-charge of their well-being. • learn to tolerate a reasonable amount of frustration and disappointment when they don’t always get their own way. • discover that the world does not revolve totally around them.  As a result, they becomeless egocentric. • learn responsible behavior and that they are capable of doing things.

14. THE DUAL ROLE OF PARENTS: STRUCTURE • learn from their mistakes. • gain experience making decisions. • become more self-sufficient and capable as they learn the skills to become independent. • internalize your rules and values. • Often parents have more difficulty carrying out this function in a healthy way.  Yet it is vitally important to your children’s development that you discipline them, teach them, guide them, provide rules and follow through on the rules, and set reasonable expectations for their behavior.

15. Finding Your Balance between Nurture and Structure • If you only provide the nurture piece without any structure or limits or without holding children accountable, your children can become spoiled, unappreciative, self-centered, and not learn how to do things for themselves.  These are hallmarks of an “over-indulged” child. Your children may mistake your kindness for weakness and not view you as a source of support.

16. Finding Your Balance between Nurture and Structure • If you only provide the structure piece without building a strong relationship of trust, your children may feel resentful, unloved, abandoned, and may be less likely to cooperate willingly with the rules or to internalize them. Fearing punishment, children may try to fly under the radar and hide their mistakes and vulnerabilities from you.  You will miss opportunities to influence your children’s behaviors and choices.

17. Parenting education • Parenting education is the prevention of child abuse/neglect and interpersonal violence through parent education and support programs which enhance the parent/caregiver’s ability to: • Promote children’s development, • Improve child/parent attachment, • Improve child/parent communication skills, • Enhance self-esteem of participants, • Improve child/parent social control, and • To reduce aggressive behaviors by children and their caregivers.

18. The Ministry of Gender Equality should • Be committed to helping families to become strong and able to be true resources for all members of the family. Strong families make strong communities. • Run programs designed to help parents learn about child development - physical, mental, and emotional - and to acquire or enhance skills to understand and deal with the child’s needs at different times in their growth and development. • Ensure that programs have the capacity to provide, or connect families to, health and social services families need for their well-being.

19. Family types and parenting • The challenges : • How do we empower the various types of families to promote good parenting practices? • Who can be the stakeholders in promoting good parenting practices? Can a network among stakeholders be established? • Should parenting issues be the concern of ALL mauritian families or targeting specific types of families only? THANK YOU