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In a hushed midnight moment, a radiant angel graced the skies, its glittering form captivating a young girl nestled in her cozy quilted bed. With shimmering silver wings and a gown that sparkled like stars, the mystical being hovered delicately on a fluffy cloud, casting a gentle glow. Awakened, the girl blinked in astonishment, her heart racing with wonder. "I shall make a wish," she whispered, certain the angel would weave her desires into reality. A magical journey like no other awaited as dreams danced on the edge of the night.
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Now look at this corrected version Still, it could be made even better. Can you continue it for another paragraph and add some powerful verbs, adverbs and description?
L.O. To improve the detail of a story to make it more interesting for the reader. The magical angel was glittering and golden it had silver, sparkling wings and a shimmering dress. It hovered on a fluffy, feathery cloud up in the midnight atmosphere. The mystic angel gazed quietly over the girl as she slept in her queen-sized, quilted bed.
Remember to add powerful verbs,adverbs and description. The girl woke up suddenly and she looked at the pretty angel on the cloud. “ I shall make a wish,” the girl whispered to herself. The girl knew that the angel would make it come true.