Resiliency Partners in learning Wesley Spectrum Services In cooperation with Sto-Rox School District
Resiliency 1.) What is it? 2.)How to develop it: -For yourself -For your child 3.)Why is it important? -Resiliency and Mental Health 4.) Long term benefits 5.) Resources
What is Resiliency? The ability to return to original form after being bent, compressed, or stretched out of shape A human’s ability to recover quickly from disruptive change, or misfortune without being overwhelmed or acting in dysfunctional or harmful ways.
Do I have Resiliency? Resilience means being able to adapt to life’s misfortunes and setbacks When you have resilience, you harness inner strength and rebound more quickly from a setback or challenge -Whether it’s a job loss, an illness, a disaster, or the death of a loved one
Can you see past your problems? If you are resilient: If you lack resilience: • Problems still occur- it is part of life • You are able to find enjoyment in life • You can handle stress better • Dwell on problems • Feel victimized • Become overwhelmed • Turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse
Resilience is the ability to roll with the punches! What it is: What it’s not: • Although you encounter stress, adversity, trauma, or tragedy, you keep functioning both psychologically and physically • You can go on with daily tasks, remain generally optimistic, and go on with your life • Resiliency doesn’t mean you ignore your feelings, when adversity strikes, you still experience anger, grief, or pain • Being resilient doesn’t mean being stoic or going it alone
How can you develop Resiliency? For Myself?
Build strong, positive relationships with family and friends who provide support and acceptance • Friendships enrich your life and improve health • During hardships, friends can be a source of comfort and strength • Volunteer, get involved in your community, or join a faith or spiritual community Increase Resilience for yourself : 1.) Get connected!! Being able to reach out to others for support is a key component of being resilient.
Finding humor in stressful situations doesn’t mean you are in denial • If you can’t find humor in a situation, turn to other sources for a laugh, such as a funny book or movie • You all have humorous accounts related to your kids!! Increase Resilience for yourself : 2.)Laugh! Humor is a helpful coping mechanism!
Build on skills and strategies that helped you through rough times, and DON’T repeat those that didn’t help • You can’t change what’s happened in the past, but you can always look toward the future • Don’t fixate on the past • Find something in each day that signals a change for the better • EXPECT good results Increase Resilience for yourself : 3.) Learn from the Past and Remain Hopeful Think back on how you’ve coped with hardships in the past.
Expecting changes to occur makes it easier to adapt to them • With practice, you can learn to be more flexible and not view change with as much anxiety • Look at your situation in a larger context of your own life and of the world • Learn how to help your child deal with change Increase Resilience for yourself : 4.) Accept and anticipate change as a way of life Tolerate changes and try to welcome them!
Tend to your own needs and feelings: • Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy • Exercise regularly • Get plenty of sleep • Eat well • Keep your self esteem healthy • This makes you more able to do what is necessary to ensure your child’s resiliency! Increase Resilience for yourself : 5.) Take care of yourself! Physically and Emotionally
How can you develop Resiliency for yourself? 1.) Get connected. 2.) Laugh. 3.) Learn from the past and remain hopeful about the future. 4.) Accept change as a way of life. 5.) Take care of yourself.
How can you develop Resiliency? For My Children?
Teach your children how to find and nurture friendships • Teach them how to be a good friend • Create opportunities for children to practice their skills and enjoy each other • Invite other children to YOUR home • Involve them in activities outside of school like clubs, music lessons, sports, etc. Increase Resilience for Your Children: 1.) Get Them Connected!! Engineer Friendships!
Problem Solving skills: (ability to plan, resourcefulness in seeking help, and creativity) • Decision making skills (making choices, direct own life, speak for themselves) • Self regulation skills (count to ten, take a deep breath, leave the area) **All important skills to have in order to be resilient!! Increase Resilience for Your Children: 2.) Build their Skills & Strategies Responsiveness Flexibility Communication Sense of Humor
Have your child do something everyday that gives them a sense of accomplishment • No task is too small to feel good about • Having goals helps young people: - look toward a bright future - maintain optimism and hope - gives them a sense of purpose Increase Resilience for Your Children: 3.) Teach them how to work toward a goal! Even small, everyday goals are important!
Focus on your child’s strengths • Encourage them to develop or foster a talent • Recognize their accomplishments • Build confidence in themselves and their abilities • Particularly important for young people with a diagnosis (may feel isolated from peers) Increase Resilience for Your Children: 4.) Build Their Self-Esteem Self-worth is a critical trait of resiliency!!
Make sure your child gets enough sleep and rest • Play, smile, and laugh with them • Feed them regular and nutritious meals • Teach them good hygiene and grooming skills • Build time for relationships and pleasurable activities Increase Resilience for Your Children: 5.) Support their Physical & Emotional Health Give them a positive sense of well-being!
How can you develop Resiliency for your child? 1.) Get them Connected 2.) Build their Skills and Strategies 3.) Teach them how to work toward a Goal 4.) Build their Self-Esteem 5.) Support their Physical and Emotional Health
Resiliency is important because: • We are all born with an innate capacity for resilience • Research shows that people who end up being most successful in life are those who experienced some adversity in childhood and learned how to cope • Those who believe they are capable of handling challenges tend to remain emotionally stable
The Nature of Resiliency • Between half and two-thirds of children growing up in families with: - Mental Illness -Alcoholism/Drug Abuse - Abusive or Criminally involved parents - Poverty -War-torn Communities DO overcome and turn a life against odds into one with success and despite risk and adversity
Resiliency and Mental Health Resiliency helps you thrive! It enables you to develop a reservoir of internal resources that you can draw on when you need it Resiliency may protect you against developing a mental Illness related to stress or trauma Resiliency can help you cope better with an existing mental illness
Situations Become a Mental Health Issue: If YOU are bothered by your behavior or feelings Or If you bother EVERYONE around you: • Co workers? • Family? • Friends? • Neighbors?
What can you do? What do I do if I am faced with Adversity? How do I avoid Mental Health Issues??
You can restore an inner sense of peace and calm by practicing stress-management and relaxation techniques You and your child can learn: • Yoga • Meditation • Deep breathing • Visualization • Imagery • Prayer • Muscle relaxation What can I do? Use relaxation techniques to decrease body tension and manage stress
If you don’t feel you are making progress, or if you don’t know where to start, consider talking to a mental health professional • With their guidance, you can improve your resiliency and mental well-being What can I do? Find a Mental Health Professional who can Guide you.
It takes time • It takes hard work • It doesn’t happen quickly • You have to stick to it • Just like any good change (diet, fitness, learning something new) What can I do? You can’t get resiliency by taking a pill!
Long Term Benefits: Resiliency can help you: Endure loss Manage chronic stress Cope with traumatic events And other challenges School is the largest part of a child’s life and the most challenging! Resilience building starts @ home!!
Resilience Will help you survive challenges and even thrive in the midst of hardship
RESOURCES • Article from Good Housekeeping: Raising Resilient Kids: Simple strategies to help your child weather life’s rainy days and tough times By: Louisa Kamps
Resources: Books Resiliency: What we have learned by: Bonnie Bernard A Parent’s Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving your child roots and wings by: American Academy of Pediatrics
Resources: Books… The Resiliency Advantage: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, Bounce Back from Setbacks by: Al Siebert, PhD Raising Resilient Children: Fostering Strength, Hope and Optimism in your child by: Robert Brooks, PhD & Sam Goldstein, PhD