Persuasive Essay Exemplar

1. Persuasive Essay Exemplar

2. The essay’s title uses an imperative (a command) and an exclamation mark for emphasis, and the word choice of ‘now’ adds a sense of immediacy and urgency. ‘Save lives now!’ The title draws the reader in, making them wonder how they can do such a huge thing as save people’s lives.

3. The opening sentence indicates what the essay is going to be about. Alliteration - the consonant letter 'l' repeated. The gap between the world’s rich and poor has never been wider. While wealthy individuals are relishing in a lavish life of luxury, millions are being forced to endure an insufferable daily reality of poverty, conflict and lack of food. For these disadvantaged people, the hunger is unrelenting and the desperation overwhelming. The time for drastic change has arrived. It is up to you and I to make a difference before a significant proportion of the world’s population drown in an ocean of poverty. We must save lives. Concise phrasing and emotive language Powerful, emotive language A metaphor is used to illustrate the extent of the suffering. Although the water reference may not be entirely appropriate, the verb 'drown' is of course linked to death. Triple or rule of three: used to gain the reader's attention and for ease of memory.

4. The gap between the world’s rich and poor has never been wider. While wealthy individuals are relishing in a lavish life of luxury, millions are being forced to endure an insufferable daily reality of poverty, conflict and lack of food. For these disadvantaged people, the hunger is unrelenting and the desperation overwhelming. The time for drastic change has arrived. It is up to you and I to make a difference before a significant proportion of the world’s population drown in an ocean of poverty. We must save lives. This also refers back to the title of the essay, reminding us of the essay’s message. This short, simple sentence is effective in that it contrasts with the more complex ideas that have gone before. Also, the imperative message includes the reader alongside the writer - the personal pronouns 'You' and 'I' coming together as 'we' implying that 'we are in this together'. This is an effective persuasive technique.

5. An appropriate emotive linking word followed by a correctly placed comma. Shockingly, a child dies every three seconds from AIDS and severe starvation. I’m sure you’ll agree with me when I say that this infant mortality rate is unacceptably high. Something must be done in order to help countless families escape the famine pandemic. Again, the writer addresses the audience directly by the use of a personal pronoun and draws them in by assuming their agreement. Use of the imperative shows that the writer is committed to the cause.

6. Unsurprisingly, there is sufficient food in the world to cater for everyone’s needs. So why do so many find themselves ensnared by extreme poverty? Millions of people worldwide are trapped in an incessant downward spiral, frenetically fighting for food, education...and their lives. These people lack money; they are unable to purchase enough food to nourish themselves and their families. Inevitably, this continuous malnutrition leads their physical and mental conditions to deteriorate, therefore decreasing their ability to work. With no employment, their finances continue to diminish, leaving only one conclusion – death. This unjust reality must be brought to an end before even more lives are lost.

7. Again, another appropriate linking word followed by a correctly placed comma. Rhetorical questions like this get the reader involved by causing them, in turn, to ask themselves the question. Unsurprisingly, there is sufficient food in the world to cater for everyone’s needs. So why do so many find themselves ensnared by extreme poverty? Millions of people worldwide are trapped in an incessant downward spiral, frenetically fighting for food, education...and their lives. Concise phrasing and use of metaphor. Two language features are included in this sentence: alliteration via the consonant letter 'f' and also the rule of three which builds to a climax with ‘lives’.

8. This explanation of absolute poverty serves as a convincing argument. These people lack money; they are unable to purchase enough food to nourish themselves and their families. Inevitably, this continuous malnutrition leads their physical and mental conditions to deteriorate, therefore decreasing their ability to work. With no employment, their finances continue to diminish, leaving only one conclusion – death. This unjust reality must be brought to an end before even more lives are lost. Again, the imperative verb ensures that the reader is focused on the message.

9. How would you feel if you were one of the 800 million people who went to bed ravenously hungry each and every night? You would lay, shivering, listening to the unbearable sound of your stomach crying out in starvation, whilst billions of individuals around the world binged on excessive amounts of food. How would you feel if you knew that the same insatiable people were squandering their surplus cash on unnecessary luxury items rather than donating just a few pounds to life-changing charities? £5 may just be spare change for us, yet it can feed an African family of 4 for over a week; for them it is a matter of life and death.

10. Rhetorical question which addresses the reader/audience directly by using a personal pronoun. Emotive language – ‘ravenously’ Continued use of personal pronouns to involve the reader How would you feel if you were one of the 800 million people who went to bed ravenously hungry each and every night? You would lay, shivering, listening to the unbearable sound of your stomach crying out in starvation, whilst billions of individuals around the world binged on excessive amounts of food. Assonance - billions of individuals... binged . Use of contrast - Emotive

11. Another rhetorical question which addresses the reader/audience directly by using a personal pronoun. How would you feel if you knew that the same insatiable people were squandering their surplus cash on unnecessary luxury items rather than donating just a few pounds to life-changing charities? £5 may just be spare change for us, yet it can feed an African family of 4 for over a week; for them it is a matter of life and death.

12. Emotive vocabulary to make the reader feel negatively towards greedy people like these who waste money. How would you feel if you knew that the same insatiable people were squandering their surplus cash on unnecessary luxury items rather than donating just a few pounds to life-changing charities? £5 may just be spare change for us, yet it can feed an African family of 4 for over a week; for them it is a matter of life and death. Use of contrast Word choice - ‘just’ makes the amount seem smaller, therefore making the reader less likely to grudge donating money.

13. This is a thought-provoking paragraph. Whilst the writer is addressing the reader as a possible victim, there is here a hint of accusation also which might imply that the reader may be guilty of these excesses and even more so, should he/she decide not to donate. The statistics back up the statements convincingly. How would you feel if you were one of the 800 million people who went to bed ravenously hungry each and every night? You would lay, shivering, listening to the unbearable sound of your stomach crying out in starvation, whilst billions of individuals around the world binged on excessive amounts of food. How would you feel if you knew that the same insatiable people were squandering their surplus cash on unnecessary luxury items rather than donating just a few pounds to life-changing charities? £5 may just be spare change for us, yet it can feed an African family of 4 for over a week; for them it is a matter of life and death.

14. By including a case study / anecdote, the writer is firmly basing the situation in real life by outlining Zahra's daily struggles. Zahra is an Ethiopian orphan who, this time last year, lived in an impoverished shanty town. Tragically, she had lost both parents to famine and had negligible prospects for the future. Each day she would make an exhausting seventeen mile round-trip to the nearest river, collecting contaminated water to drink, irrigate the crops and wash with. She was just eight years old. Zahra’s chances of a decent life were slowly slipping away. This triplet, or rule of three, serves to ensure that these three activities stick in the reader's mind.

15. The author continues the case study by explaining what has actually been made possible to make Zahra’s life easier. This emphasisesthe need for monetary help. Fortunately, a well known charity has transformed her life forever. With a little financial support, they have managed to install thousands of fresh water pumps throughout Africa, one of which is just ¼ mile away from Zahra’s home. Moreover, she is now able to attend one of the hundreds of schools that have recently been developed. Zahra has a future. This short sentence contains a profound statement of fact.

16. This paragraph also is very informative: yet more convincing facts and specific details describing what has already been done. Elsewhere, aid organisations such as MakePovertyHistory and Comic Relief are initiating “food for work” schemes throughout the developing world. These are programmes where adults are rewarded with food for their families when they build schools, dig wells and construct roads within their community. Such schemes are profoundly effective as they both nourish the citizens and supply infrastructure to terminate the poverty. Slowly but surely, considerable changes are being implemented. Another triplet, or rule of three.

17. Again, a suitable linking word followed by a correctly placed comma. Slight alliteration helps to drive the message home. However, these self-help schemes come at a cost. Although the aid organisations do everything within their reach, none of it would be possible without charitable contributions from us. By donating just a minimal amount of money, we can all play a part in the prevention of worldwide poverty. We can save lives. The writer uses a personal pronoun to involve the reader, assuring them that she is also ready to give monetary help. This short, assertive statement confirms the message of the essay. It almost repeats the wording at the end of the first paragraph and refers back to the title, making it a powerful concluding sentence.

18. This is a well organised piece of persuasive writing. The information is carefully structured, clearly stating the purpose and communicating a variety of relevant ideas, from the more general to the particular. The author uses thought-provoking arguments and scenarios progressing to the final, overall purpose: to persuade the reader to be generous with a donation to the cause. Powerful, emotive language is backed up with hard, credible facts which in turn are supported by believable statistics. An actual case study is included to add further credence. 

19. By the use of personal pronouns, 'you', 'I' and 'we', the writer ensures that the audience feels directly involved and this aids in getting the message across. A variety of other language features are used: the numerous examples of ambitious, appropriately selected vocabulary, and punctuation markers which are accurately placed and varied. Some concise phrasing is present within the variety of complex sentences which flow easily owing to the inclusion of 'linking' words (fortunately, however, moreover, inevitably etc.). Such words also serve to link paragraphs. The longer sentences are interspersed by the occasional short, simple yet powerful, sentence. Spelling is accurate throughout.