First UMC Gainesville CYPP 2013

1. Every Child/Youth Safe Training for FUMC Children/Youth Workers First United Methodist Church 419 NE 1st St. Gainesville, FL 32601

2. Training Overview • Opening: Devo and Prayer • Purpose of meeting • Explain paperwork • Talk about the policy • Child Abuse • FUMC handbook and specifics • Closing Prayer • Collect Paperwork

3. Opening Devo and Prayer Scripture: Luke 9:46-48 & Mark 10:13-16 Laughter Imagination Faith Enthusiasm

4. Purpose of this Meeting • “Child abuse prevention and Ministry Protection policies and procedures are essential for congregations, not only for the protection and safety of our children and youth, but also for our volunteers and staff working with youth.”

5. Purpose of this Meeting “The Gospel calls us to be engaged in ministry with children and youth.We should not allow the risks to undermine or stop our ministry. Rather, we must: • Acknowledge the risks and develop a practical plan to address these issues, • Take steps to prevent harm to our children, and • Continue to answer the Gospel’s imperative to be in ministry with children, thus making a difference in their lives.”

6. Explain Paperwork • You Should Have: • Personalized File Folder w/ checklist • Updated Child/Youth Protection Policy • Updated Volunteer Handbook • Slides of today’s training • Pen All files are kept secure at all time to protect your information

7. Training Overview • Opening: Devo and Prayer • Purpose of meeting • Explain paperwork • Talk about the policy • Child Abuse • FUMC handbook and specifics • Closing Prayer • Collect Paperwork

8. Definitions • “Child”= under age 12 (through 5th grade) • “Youth”= ages 12-17 (6th-12th grade) • “Adult”= age 18 or older AND has finished high school • “Paid Staff Person”= screened and paid by church • “Screened Adult”= screened, must have attended regularly for 6 months or checked off by a PSP • “Adult Volunteer”= not screened and/or has not met “screened adult” requirements • “Youth Helpers”= not screened

9. Definitions cont’d • “Youth Paid Staff Person”= a paid “youth”, screened or not screened (depending on job) and treated as “paid staff” during the hours fulfilling job • “Exempt Paid Staff Person”= not screened and paid- employed under 20 hours/week and does not work regularly with children

10. Screening • All paperwork (as well as background check) is good for 5 years except for the Participation Covenant and Volunteer Acknowledgment. They must be completed annually. • A list of at least 3 references must be on file for each child/youth worker • Attendance at a Child/Youth Training is REQUIRED ANNUALLY in order for a worker to remain labeled as a “screened adult.” If the previous is not met, the worker will be considered an “Adult Volunteer” until it is met.

11. Supervision • All adult volunteers and youth helpers must be overseen at all times by a screened adult or paid staff person • “Two Person Rule”= Always have 2 adults in the classroom at all times, one must be a screened adult or paid staff person • For children 5th grade and under, 2 screened adults is highly recommended

12. Supervision continued… • Never close a door unless there is a window in it • Anyone is welcome into a classroom to visit or observe an activity • All children participating in a children’s program MUST be signed in and out by a parent/guardian. Children may only be signed out by an authorized adult.

13. Authorization • The conference policy states that children under age two must have written authorized adults for pick-up. • Our policy goes further to state that all children (not youth) must have authorization upon sign in. • If an unauthorized adult comes to pick up a child, the adult who signed in must be contacted before child is released.

14. Time Following Events • When possible, maintain two adults (one screened) until all children/youth have left the premises. • If not possible, the screened adult present is responsible for exercising his/her best judgment for the participant’s well being. • Try to avoid adult and child/youth of different genders.

15. Transportation • When a child/youth is transported in ANY vehicle, the driver must be either the child’s/youth’s parent, or a screened adult. • Seat belts are required in all seats at all times. • Youth may never drive during youth events. • The policy states “Drivers should be accompanied by at least one other adult.”

16. Trip Supervision • Must have two screened adults present for all trips, retreats, and other events where the children and/or youth gather overnight at, or away from, the church campus. • There must be at least one screened adult for each gender. • The person in charge must carry a permission slip or emergency form for each child/youth on trip.

17. A Rule of Thumb…. • For any event away from the church campus, • Maintain one adult per every 5 children/youth. • Always have an adult of both genders represented- try to maintain that proportional to the children/youth in attendance

18. Training Overview • Opening: Devo and Prayer • Purpose of meeting • Explain paperwork • Talk about the policy • Child Abuse • FUMC handbook and specifics • Closing Prayer • Collect Paperwork

19. Current Statistics • Nearly 5 children die every day from child abuse or neglect • In 2010, out of every 1,000 children there were a reported 9.2 victims of abuse and neglect • 79.4% of the 2010 child fatalities were under the age of four years old • In 2011, the National Children’s Alliance (NCA) provided support to over 279,000 abuse victims • 95,120 children reported sexual abuse to the NCA in 2011

20. Child Abuse • Florida Statute 39.201 entitled “Mandatory Reports” states that: “Any person who knows, or has reasonable cause to suspect, that a child is abused, abandoned, or neglected by a parent, legal custodian, caregiver, or other person responsible for the child’s welfare, as defined in this chapter,… shall report such knowledge or suspicion to the department.” • Suspected abuse within the context of a church, including the pre-school, does fall within the description of the Florida Statute and a report is required.

21. Recognizing Abuse • Physical Abuse or Neglect • Violent non-accidental contact which results in injury. This includes, but is not limited to, striking, biting, shaking or acts of omission. Injuries include bruises, fractures, cuts, and burns. • Possible Signs of Physical Abuse or Neglect • Hostile and aggressive behavior toward others • Fearfulness of parents and/or other adults • Destructive behavior toward self, others, and/or property • Inexplicable fractures or bruises inappropriate for child’s developmental stage • Repetitious pattern of burns, facial injuries & bruises • Deprivation of food, clothing, shelter or medical treatment

22. Recognizing Abuse • Emotional Abuse • A pattern of intentional conduct which crushes a child’s spirit and attacks his/her self-worth through rejection, threats, terrorizing, isolating, or belittling. • Possible Signs of Emotional Abuse • Exhibits severe depression and/or withdrawal • Exhibits severe lack of self-esteem • Failure to thrive or impairment in ability to function • Threatens or attempts suicide • Speech and/or eating disorders • Goes to extremes to seek adult approval • Extreme passive/aggressive behavior patterns

23. Recognizing Abuse • Sexual Abuse • Any form of sexual activity with a child, whether at the church, at home, or any other setting. The abuser may be an adult, an adolescent, or another minor • Possible Signs of Sexual Abuse • Unusually advanced sexual knowledge and/or behavior for child’s age & developmental stage • Depression – cries often for no apparent reason • Promiscuous behavior • Runs away from home and refuses to return • Difficulty walking or sitting • Extreme mood swings • Violence aimed at body parts or undergarments

24. Recognizing Abusers • Abusers… • can be found in every racial, ethnic, economic and social group • look very much like us; some are charismatic leaders; some are very sociable; some are very sympathetic to troubled children • exhibit power over their victim disrupting the natural balance of power • Abuse Happens… • when a person exerts his/her power over a child in ways that harm and/or exploit the child • when the abuser is powerful and the child is vulnerable. • when the power comes from several sources: size, position, knowledge, money and others.

25. Steps To Take • Remove the abuser from further involvement with children and/or youth. • Report the abuse by calling the Child Abuse Hotline or by contacting the necessary leadership who will then report it to the authorities (next slide). • Notify the parents of the victim. NOTE: If one or both of the parents is the alleged abuser, follow the advice of the authorities concerning notification of others.

26. Call Chain • Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-96 ABUSE (1-800-962-2873) • Senior Pastor Sara McKinley (must be contacted before or after Child Abuse Hotline) • Contact Pastor David Averill (for youth) or Amy Watson (for children or Preschool) or Sandy Evans or Karen Harris (for Scouts) or Kim or Jim Hasko (for IHN)

27. Support • Take all allegations seriously and reach out to the victim and the victim’s family. Show care and support to help prevent further hurt. Extend whatever pastoral resources are needed. Remember that the care and safety of the victim is the first priority. Respond in a positive and supportive manner to the victim and the victim’s family. • The church should provide a supportive atmosphere to all those who are affected, offering both objectivity and empathy as it seeks to create a climate in which healing can take place.

28. Clergy • All suspected abuse is reported to the clergy or supply pastors. • The clergy must report all alleged abuse to the District Superintendent. • If the accused is the appointed clergy and supply pastors or a member of his/her family, the allegations shall be immediately reported to the District Superintendent and immediately reported to the proper authorities as required by state or local law. The District Superintendent will take responsibility and act according to established rules of The Book of Discipline with respect to claims against a pastor. If the District Superintendent is not available, the incident should be reported to the Bishop’s office in Lakeland.

29. More logistics • A written report must be kept of the actions that the church took in response to the allegations. • The accuser may be asked to make an account. • Nobody can make contact with the media unless appointed to do so by the Senior Minister or other appointed staff person.

30. Confidentiality • Florida law (FS90.505) provides that some specific communications may be considered confidential if they occurred in the context of “seeking spiritual counsel or advice” from a clergy person. Thus a clergy person may be confronted with the dilemma of discovering or suspecting abuse in the setting of a privileged conversation. While the church has historically placed a high value on clergy keeping such confidences, the 2008 UM Discipline, par. 341.5, provides an exception in cases of suspected child abuse or neglect. • Again, the moral imperative is to do that which will best protect children.

31. Training Overview • Opening: Devo and Prayer • Purpose of meeting • Explain paperwork • Talk about the policy • Child Abuse • FUMC handbook and specifics • Closing Prayer • Collect Paperwork

32. Children’s Ministry Mission Statement To encourage and support children in their spiritual journey as part of the community of believers by providing them opportunities to experience and share God through play, service, prayer, and celebration.

33. Youth Ministry Mission Statement To PRAISE God with all our hearts, REACH out to the community, TEACH others about our faith, CONNECT with fellow Christians, and FOLLOW Jesus Christ in all we do.

34. FUM Preschool Mission Statement To promote the social, emotional, intellectual, moral, and physical development of young children, provide positive learning experiences in a loving Christian environment, and to enhance family life through parental involvement in their children’s education.

35. What Can We Do For You? • Pray- We will constantly be praying for you, for your ministry within our programs, and for the children and youth you will touch with your presence. • We will order any curriculum and materials that is needed for you to be successful within the confines of our budget. • We will provide training and support in any ways we can. • We will fill in or find substitutes when necessary to avoid burnout of volunteers.

36. What Can You Do For Us? • Pray- Pray for the children and youth who will benefit from your service. Pray for the church leadership and other volunteers. • We ask that you inform us at least two weeks in advance if you cannot be present at something you committed to (We understand though that emergencies arise and are flexible). • Arrive early and be prepared.

37. In the handbook… • Behavior modeling: • Remember to model good behavior • Avoid negative comments about others • Be sensitive of confidential information • Take an interest in your students without playing favorites • Be a good listener • Safety • Never allow roughhousing that could result in injury • If it is not a Sunday morning or other time when certain doors are left open, make sure ALL exterior doors are locked and kept closed---never leave a door propped opened and unattended. • ALWAYS use appropriate touch

38. In the handbook… • Recognize the difference between childish and child-like behavior. • Acceptable ways of touching: • On the hand (especially with younger children), shoulder or upper back • Never against a student’s will • Never against a student’s verbally or non-verbally expressed discomfort • Never when it would have the effect of over-stimulating a student • Never in a place that is normally covered by a bathing suit

39. In the handbook… • Behaviors that might be misunderstood as intrusive or invasive to students: • Embarrassing a student about his or her body • A student sitting in a leader’s lap • Telling stories or engaging in conversation that is lurid or over-stimulating • Giving someone a deep back massage

40. In the handbook… • Restroom Procedures: • All children 5th grade and under should be escorted to the restroom if the restroom is not self-contained within the classroom or activity area. • The leader or helper should wait outside the restroom, especially if the restroom does not contain privacy stalls, to assure that the child does not leave the area. • It is acceptable to talk through the door to remind children about hand washing and to check on them if they seem to be taking a long time, or to prop the outside door open if the restroom contains privacy stalls. • We DO NOT provide toileting/diapering assistance to children outside of the nursery and preschool unless a need for special assistance has been noted in writing on the child or youth info and liability form. • If a child over nursery age experiences an accident, the parent will be notified to come take care of the child.

41. Helpful Tips • Set up classroom/activity space ahead of time to minimize distractions and facilitate learning. • Get a group’s attention BEFORE you try to make an announcement or give a lesson. • Encouragement is vital. Always use positive language. Be aware of your tone and body language and place yourself at the child/youth’s physical level. • Involve students by asking them questions, role playing, displaying visual aids, letting them touch and hold tactile lesson aids, and using other sensory activities and instructional strategies. • God made everyone different for a reason. We need to be flexible and do our best to adapt and accommodate different needs, learning styles, behaviors, and spiritual experience/backgrounds.

42. Working with Parents and Families • Support parents in their efforts and recognize their role as a child’s primary faith-shaper • Empower parents to lead • Work as partners with parents to give children the best opportunity possible to grow in spiritual maturity; communicate clearly and often. • Greeting procedures- please greet all students AND parents as they arrive. It is important that parents see a class or activity underway; this means one leader should be involved with the students once a group has assembled and leave the greeting/sign-in to the other leader. It is one of the few opportunities most parents have to observe our classes and activities. • ALWAYS share positive feedback (and constructive criticism when necessary) with parents; they like to know they are not the only ones who can appreciate the special qualities of their child.

43. Discipline • The word discipline comes from the same root as disciple, which means “follower” or “learner,” and is a positive promoter of spirituality, morality, and relational integrity. • Expect good behavior and affirm positive choices. Instead of saying “don’t,” tell them what they SHOULD be doing. • Explain rules in a positive way and explain their purpose. “Johnny, we sit on the carpet so we stay safe,” rather than “Johnny, don’t climb on the table.” When people hear the word “no” over and over, they tend to stop listening. • Make consequences known ahead of time and follow through.

44. Children’s Ministry Discipline Policy • At the outset of any activity, present this policy to the children so they are aware of the expectations placed upon them and the consequences if they disregard the rules. • If a child is behaving inappropriately he/she will be individually called by name and given one verbal warning saying that the next time they are called out for their behavior they will be asked to sit out and their parents will be notified upon pick-up. • If the action continues the child will be taken out of the activity and will sit in a chair for 5 minutes (Time-Out). • The parent will be told at the activity why their child was asked to sit out. • If the above steps are ineffective, children under the age of 5 will be taken to the nursery, and children over the age of 5 whose parents are on campus will be taken to their parents.

45. Youth Ministry Discipline Policy • Don’t be stupid or I’ll call your parents

46. Just Kidding… but no really • The leader will give a verbal warning. • If the disturbance continues, they will be separated from the group or persons being disturbed. • The student will then be asked to sit out of whatever activity is being presented and the parents will be notified. • If the problem persists, the parents will be called and the student will be picked up.

47. *Under no circumstances will corporal punishment be administered by a children or youth activity leader • Obviously, that would fall under child abuse

48. Specifics • For specific volunteer job descriptions or program assistance, see the handbook. • All members of the Children and Youth Ministry Teams are expected to model appropriate Christian behavior at all times and to pray regularly for children, youth, families, and their place at FUMC.

49. Last but not least! • When we are out in the community, who do we represent? • Ourselves, FUMC-Gainesville, The United Methodist Church, The Universal Church, but above all, GOD. • Please remember and remind others, especially the children and youth, to take that seriously. • In a situation, use your best judgment! • Otherwise call us!

50. Training Overview • Opening: Devo and Prayer • Purpose of meeting • Distribute paperwork • Talk about the policy • Child Abuse • FUMC handbook and specifics • Closing Prayer • Quiz