1. The “Jungle” A guide to Navy ranks

2. Gazelles = Ensigns • Although easily frightened, they have been known to stupidly lounge in plain sight of the “lions” • Runs at high speeds, with no purpose or direction • The slow and weak are frequently slain

3. Cheetah = Lieutenant Junior Grade • Loner, feisty • Makes the occasional kill on a weaker animal

4. Lions = Lieutenant • Hunts in packs • Can bring down a larger animal with coordination • Easily slays the “cheetah”

5. Water Buffalo = Lieutenant Commander • Aging, slower beast, but- • Cannot be brought down by a single “Lion”

6. Hippopotamus = Commander • Slow and cumbersome on land • Safe in own environment • Lays low to avoid enemies

7. Elephants = Captain • Rules the “Jungle” • Impossible to bring down except by his own vials.

8. Hyena = Chiefs • Laughs continuously at the “Cheetah” • Helps the “Lions” complete the kill on larger animals

9. Sloth = Warrant Officer • Skilled in one area only • Comes around only to feed and take care of bodily functions

10. Dung Beetle = Petty Officers • Forced to deal with the “crap” created by other animals

11. Sand Crab = GS Employee • Side-steps responsibility. • Has a hard shell which cannot be cracked, even by elephants. • Immune to dung beetles.

12. Ant = Contract Employee • Lowest on the food chain. • Extremely productive, but can be eliminated by even a cheetah. • Dung beetles like to play with them.