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  2. What is Silence? “Have more than you showest, speak less than you knowest.” ~ Shakespeare Definition of silence: The condition of being or keeping still and silent. The absence of sound; stillness. A period of time without speech or noise. Refusal or failure to speak out. Silence is the absence of mention. In other words, a negotiator using this tactic does not say anything about a negotiation point. When used as a tactic in a negotiation, silence can keep the you or the other party off-balance.

  3. Whendoweuse Silence? 1) Silence is generally used when negotiators do not want to disclose weaknesses in their position. “If I listen, I have the advantage; if I speak, others have it.” ~ From The Arabic

  4. 2) When negotiators want to obtain information by letting the other party do the talking. Silence gives you the powerful opportunity to observe and learn.We have two ears and one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less.~ Diogenes

  5. 3) When the other party is talking:If you interrupt, it irritates the speaker.To every thing there is a season...a time to keep silence, a time to speak.~ Ecclesiastes

  6. 4)When we want to make the other party uncertain and impulsive 5) When other party’s message does not include any mean or importance for you.

  7. 6) We use silence at crucial junctures (nazik zaman)during a conversation to understand and empathise with the other person. The next time you hear a distorted comment, an angry retort, or a biased question, remain silent for a short time. Others will respect you for your restraint.

  8. 7)When you're worried or wondering about something, silence is like a balm. Silence allows you the time to reflect on the implications, as well as your next step.

  9. The Interpretive ProcessWhen silence tactic is used, both sides must perceive the same meaning. But sometimes this is difficult.

  10. The Interpretive Process The ambiguity of silence can cause different reactions:the parties involved might change the subject,previously hidden positions/goals might be revealed or new options might be discussed. Within such a context, the consideration of cultural differences is crucial; experience has shown that people from various cultural backgrounds react very differently to silence: For example: If there is silence • Americans assume other party is angry with them • Japanese are simply evaluating what they have just heard.

  11. Silence in Communication Silence is a natural part of anycommunicationprocess. Silence comes in three forms. 1-Pausing:The tricky thing about a silence contest initiated by the other side is that they don’t announce, "OK, I'm going to start a silence contest." It's just that they say something or ask a question and then there is silence.

  12. Silence in Communication 2-Slowing Down: Go slowly and leave lots of gaps for the other side to rush into. Being patient, talking less, and waiting are often the keys to a miracle. Your silence allows the other party to express their ideas which will not only make them feel as though they are being taken seriously, but will also give you time to get an overall grasp on the situation. When negotiating, stamina and endurance usually count the most

  13. Silence in Communication 3-Waiting To Speak Last:Concentrate on the other party's body language. Always listen until the other party has finished their last word rather than starting to think about your own counter argument as soon as they begin talking.

  14. Positive Values of Silence 1. Allowing silence in a conversation puts pressure on the other person. 2. Silence can indicate profoundness, such as awe or horror. 3. Silence can indicate respect. 4. Silence can indicate contemplation. 5. Silence can be the creation of a listening space. 6. Silence can be an indication of empathy. 7.Silence provides time to consider the actual situation.

  15. Positive Values of Silence 8. Once somebody knows you’re hot to trot, he’ll exploit it. 9. Silence promotes anxiety and uncertainty in your counterparts, and that’s good for you. 10. Silence says you have other options, you don’t NEED this deal, or else. Always, a person with options is more attractive and powerful to a suitor. 11. Silence will determine just how serious they are. Will they communicate again, and how long will it take? If they can wait, they’re smart, and they’ll be turning the tables on you.

  16. Negative Values of Silence 1.Silence can indicate hostility. Withdrawing, “stonewalling,” and pouting in silence are ways some people handle anger. Such a silence can be pulsating with bad feelings and elicit anger on the part of the other person. 2. Silence can indicate disagreement.While it’s almost never an indication of indifference, silence can indicate that the other person is having negative emotions. 3. Silence can be intentional rudeness.Because of the nature of normal conversation allowing an extended silence can be perceived as rudeness.

  17. Countermeasure Use silence but also plan what you will do if it isused on you! We can: 1.) Accept Silence: It's just that they say something or ask a question and then there is silence. When the other side has started a silence contest, we usually go into denial. We might say something like, "now that I've had a chance to think about that", or "well, that's an interesting idea and here is what I propose," or something like that. It sends the message that we just had a thoughtful moment rather than a silence

  18. 2.) Fillinga voidMost people can't stand dead air time. They become uncomfortable if there's no conversation filling the void between you and them. We can fill a void by: • Going over the key points/features again. • Asking them a question regarding their understanding. • Turning to their lead negotiator and seek comments. • Smiling gently and say nothing. • Fiddling with your papers to buy time. • Seeking an adjournment.


  20. THINKING TIME • The dictionary meaning of “take five” is “to take 5 minutes for rest” • This tactic is also called Go to the balcony. • This tactic has taken its name from “Take Five” of famous jazz pianist Dave Brubeck which is composed of asymmetrical time signatures. • Means suggesting a break This tactic has taken

  21. THINKING TIME • Acceptance time is a definite period of time that one party to a negotiation has to accept an offer by another party.

  22. THINKING TIME • WIN-WIN USE • Increase acceptance time • Negotiators may need time to accept smth. new or different

  23. THINKING TIME • WIN-LOSE USE • Use as a delaying tactic

  24. THINKING TIME • COUNTERMEASURE TO WIN-LOSE USE • Do not take too much time to respond

  25. THINKING TIME REACTION PROBLEMS • Parties tend to be initiator • Respondent is less advantageous • If there is a pressure to conclude take five

  26. THINKING TIME TIME • Very important for negotiators • People not only be convinced by arguments but also need time to reconcile • Patience can be an important factor in negotiations • “Time pressure” and “time limits” are parts of negotiations

  27. THINKING TIME TIME PRESSURE • Do not accept from your constituency • Think about opponents’ important time factors • Be skeptical about deadlines that others impose on you.

  28. THINKING TIME TIME PRESSURE • Produces lower demands, faster concessions, faster agreements • Kelley -1967- says negotiators will be reluctant to concede but they will feel greater urgency to do • Produces less ambitious goals • Can be useful if unilaterally used

  29. THINKING TIME TIME LIMITS • Have a hypnotic affect • Makes you tended to accept even if you do not want • DO NOT SET YOURSELF PSYCHOLOGICAL TIME LIMITS

  30. BUY TİME TO THİNK Once you have named the game and forestalled your immediate reaction, the next step is to buy yourself time to think – time to go the balcony.

  31. BUY TIME TO THİNK There are several ways to taking time to think: • Go to Balcony • Take a Time-out • Pause and say nothing • Rewind the Tape • Recessing • Adjournments

  32. 1)GO TO BALCONY When dealing with adversarial people it is important therefore not to react to their behavior.In order not to react it may be necessary to distance yourself from your emotions. Ury popularized this concept by describing it as " going to the balcony."

  33. 1)GO TO BALCONY(cont’d) • Going to the balcony simply describes the mental imagery used to distance yourself emotionally from the combat zone. It refers to the mental process of stepping back from the combative situation and seeing it objectively. According to Ury, from the balcony, you can assess the conflict in a more detached way. This allows you to consider the situation more constructively and explore solutions that are mutually satisfying.

  34. 1) GO TO BALCONY( CONT.) In going to the balcony it is necessary to be able to identify or name unfair tactics that you are likely to confront in dealing with adversarial people. People can use the following three tactics to sway the negotiations in their favor: Inflexibility: They refuse to negotiate further becoming inflexible. They want you to feel trapped and to believe there is no other way but their way.

  35. 1) GO TO BALCONY( CONT.) • Attacks: They try to intimidate and threaten you so that you give into their demands. • Tricks: They try to deceive you by lying, manipulating data, and otherwise mislead you into believing that your decision is best for you when it really satisfies their interests and not necessarily your own

  36. 1) GO TO BALCONY( CONT.) It is possible to misunderstand others’ behavior. It becomes critical, therefore, not jump to conclusions when observing behavior but to keep a mental record of what is being said and done. Adversarial people tend to use more than one tactic. Advantages of going to balcony. To review written or an oral proposal To devolope or formulate response To regain your composure

  37. 2)Take a Time-out One way to refrain from reacting is to ‘’take a time out’’. Especially If the parties become angry, they should take a break. They should make their dissatisfaction known and openly discuss the reasons for it. Negotiations are more productive when they are broken up by frequent time-outs Simply take a break or tell a story to reduce the tension. Finally, never make decisions in the heat of the moment. Instead, make it a point to go the balcony and make your decisions there.

  38. 3)Pause and say nothing The simplest way to buy time to think in the middle of a tense negotiation is to pause and say nothing. It does you little good to respond when you are feeling angry or frustrated Pausing will not only give you a chance to step up to the balcony seconds, but it may also help the other side cool down.

  39. 4)Rewind the Tape Means:Slowing down the conversation by planning it back. It use to buy more time to think. By rewinding the tape-which interrupts the routine slows it down-you give yourself time to recognize the tricks and neutralize its impact. An easy way to slow down the negotiation is to take careful notes. Writing down what your counterpart says gives you a good excuse:”I’m sorry, I missed that. Could you repeat it?”

  40. 5)Recessing Recess should always be taken when: Some complicated calculations have to be done The emotional temprature is rising You are negotiating as a member of a group

  41. 6)Adjournment Negotiator’s equivalent of atime-out. You agree to terminate the current negotiating session You need a break to: Think about what has been said Reconsider your position Regroup your team Consult with your advisers more senior decision makers Rest and recuperate.


  43. YOU NEED TIME TO THINK • Many American business people conduct negotiations like a Ping-Pong tournament. Buyer and seller, engineer and consultant, two division managers — all are in a big hurry. A few quick slashes and returns, and it's over. Other cultures, like Europeans and Asians, take a different approach. They are not so hasty. They recognized the obvious: The person who has time to think, thinks better!

  44. YOU NEED TIME TO THINK The suggestions that follow are effective. 1. Get the other party to present their position before breaking for the day. 2. Arrange to get an important surprise visitor or phone call at some crucial point. 3. Take a restroom break. 4. Get thirsty or hungry. 5. Change a member of the negotiating team.

  45. YOU NEED TIME TO THINK 6.Don't have the back-up evidence available. 7. Plead ignorance. Ask for time to learn more about it. 8. Have your expert unavailable. 9. Load down the other party with documents, data, or drawings. 10. Use an interpreter or third party.Interpreters can be technical people, lawyers, your boss, or translators. In any case, they can slow things down.

  46. YOU NEED TIME TO THINK 11. If you are on a team, develop rules among your people on how questions will be fielded. Sometimes it is best to have all questions directed only to one person, to give others time to think about the answers. 12. Recess and caucus frequently. It is remarkable what we humans see in hindsight. Giving yourself time to thinkchanges hindsight to foresight and it will make you a better negotiator. 13. Have a good dancer 14. Go to the toilet

  47. YOU NEED TIME TO THINK 15. Check list of verbal devices for gaining time 16. Arrange a code with your secretary so that s(he) can break into the conversation an “urgent request for you to go. * “Sorry the chairman has just walked into the office, I’ll get back you” * I’ll call you back in a few minutes * This is an interesting point and I must give it some quiet thought. * Catch your breath and start coughing and gasp out that you need the get a drink of water and will come straight back

  48. YOU NEED TIME TO THINK Forbearance: When both parties want to reach a win/win solution, they give time to each other to think. This strategy is called forbearance