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Raising Authentically Successful Children: Resilience in Action

Raising Authentically Successful Children: Resilience in Action. Ken Ginsburg MD, MS Ed The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. What should childhood look like?. And . . . who is childhood for???. How do we define success?. Do we have to make a choice between success and happiness?.

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Raising Authentically Successful Children: Resilience in Action

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  1. Raising Authentically Successful Children: Resilience in Action Ken Ginsburg MD, MS Ed The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia

  2. What should childhood look like?

  3. And . . . who is childhood for???

  4. How do we define success?

  5. Do we have to make a choice between success and happiness?

  6. Resilience • The Ability To Overcome Adversity • The Capacity to Bounce Back

  7. Resilience • is • NOT • Invulnerability

  8. Resilienceis NOTa character trait. • It is affected by supports and circumstances!!!

  9. The Bottom Line • Young People will be more resilient if the important adults in their lives believe in them unconditionally and hold them to high expectations • Young People live up or down to the expectations we set for them

  10. The 7 C’s of Resilience • Confidence • Competence • Connection • Character • Contribution • Coping • Control

  11. The importance of Connection can not be overstated. . . • Family • School • Community • . . . and sometimes, the health clinician

  12. Connection 101:

  13. Why does it feel like our connection is challenged during adolescence?

  14. Listening

  15. Connection 101 (cont’d):Perfectionism Prevention

  16. What is perfectionism? • And . . . why isn’t it a good thing?

  17. “Just try your best” • Victims of a toxic society • What do we praise . . . or notice? • Desire to spare us • Fear of becoming the target of anger

  18. Not all perfectionists are perfect

  19. Finding Competence . . . . . . Building Confidence X X X

  20. Learning Not to Undermine Competence • Letting young people make their own mistakes • Praising the process of trying, rather than just the results • And not over-praising . . .this is not self esteem!

  21. Learning Not to Undermine Competence • Talking in a way young people understand • Recognizing the cognitive development of adolescence • No more lectures!!!!!! • The “Cognitive AHA” experience

  22. Building Competence • Skills

  23. How Much Control?

  24. Resilience • Is about learning to cope, in a positive way with life’s inevitable stressors • We might do our greatest good by raising youth with a wide repertoire of positive coping strategies

  25. Discomfort Relief Relief Positive Coping Strategies You Feel Awful!!! You Feel Awful!!! You Feel Awful!!! Stress Discomfort Discomfort Negative Coping Strategies

  26. Discomfort Relief Relief Positive Coping Strategies You Feel Awful!!! You Feel Awful!!! You Feel Awful!!! Stress Discomfort Discomfort Negative Coping Strategies

  27. Coping • Engagement vs. Disengagement • Emotion Focused vs. Problem Focused

  28. A Stress Management Plan for Teens • (It Might Just Work for you) • Shhhhh . . . It is a Great Way to Build a College Resume

  29. Stress Management : Tackling The Problem • Making the problem manageable • Active Avoidance • Let Some things go

  30. SerenityPrayer • Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference

  31. Stress Management : Taking Care of My Body • Exercise • Fear • Anger

  32. Stress Management : Taking Care of My Body • Relaxation • Nutrition

  33. Stress Management : Taking Care of My Body • 7) Sleep • Stimulation • Cool Down Exercise Shower • Release emotion

  34. Stress Management : Managing Emotions • Instant Vacations • Releasing Emotions

  35. Stress Management Plan : Making the World Better • Contributing to the world

  36. When Resilience Reaches Its Limits • Physical symptoms • Fatigue • Disinterest • Dropping grades • Sad mood • Irritability/anger • Substance use

  37. When Your Tolerance Reaches Its Limits • Falling Back In Love • Catching Your Kid Being Good • Holding to the Highest Expectation • Honoring Your Spouse/Partner

  38. The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child

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