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Computer-Mediated Communication. Intimate Relationships. Romantic love — a timeless tradition?. Mediated meeting. http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2008/04/08/boy-girl-computer/.
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Computer-Mediated Communication Intimate Relationships
Romantic love — a timeless tradition? Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Mediated meeting Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2008/04/08/boy-girl-computer/ Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Thousands of boys and girls who’ve never met plan weekends together, for now that punch-card dating’s here, can flings be far behind? And oh, it’s so right, baby. The Great God Computer has sent the word. Fate. Destiny. Go-go-go. online — Look Magazine, February 1966http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2008/04/08/boy-girl-computer/ Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Pew online dating survey (2006) 63m know someone who has used a dating site 16m have used a dating site themselves 53m know someone who has gone on a date 7m have gone on a date themselves 29% of online adults think online daters desperate (but only 20% of those single and looking) 64% of online dating users think the large pool helps people find a better date 47% of all online adults concur Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Social shaping of technology designers designers designers Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Online dating: The basics Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Fixed choice Photo Fixed choice Free text Fixed choice Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Online dating profiles • Combination of categorical descriptors, free text self-description, and photos • Highly optimized self-presentations • Carefully selected detail • Unlimited time to craft • Exaggerations? Lies? • A lot of people lie a little (Hancock et al. 2007) • Do they reflect actual self? Ideal self? Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Searching Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Matching Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Conceptual lensesCMCMate selectionSearching/MatchingSocial networks Marriage markets Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
? Individuals Dyads Populations Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Mate selection: Two perspectives Evolutionary psychology Assortative mating Claims we partner with people like us (homophily). Evident with regard to: Physical attractiveness, socioeconomic status, race, adult attachment style, personality traits, among others. Yet sometimes it’s more complicated than just similarity. • Claims we seek and offer traits associated with reproductive success, so: • Women seek men with resources, signaled by age, wealth, education, height, etc. • Men seek women with fertility, signaled by youth, facial symmetry, muscle tone, etc. Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
7 10 9 2 3 5 5 7 6 5 8 6 8 6 2 4 8 3 Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
10 6 7 9 5 2 3 6 7 5 2 5 4 8 8 3 6 8 Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
7 seeks 10 for an awkward time “Marriage markets” — differential exchange Some points to ponder: • Why wouldn’t a 7 want a 10? • What stops us from trading up repeatedly? • Opportunity cost of staying with current mate? Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
The tyranny of choice, or:Gourmet jam is not a date Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore (Gupta & Singh 1982)
The process of online dating Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Pieces of profiles:What predicts attractiveness? Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Photo × Text attractiveness Women’s profiles Men’s profiles Photo high Photo med Photo low Text low Text low Text high Text high Text med Text med Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Strategic vs. authentic vs. aspirationalself-presentation Anticipated future interaction? Actual self vs. ideal self? “Balancing accuracy and desirability” Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Participants from Ellison et al. • “In their profile they write about their dreams as if they are reality.” • “I’ve never known so many incredibly athletic women in my life!” • “I checked my profile and I had lied a little bit about the pounds, so I thought I had better start losing some weight so that it would be more honest.” Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Forming impressions in online dating • “Cognitive misers”: Making the most of limited cues • Social Information Processing (Walther) • Reciprocal re-use of whatthey notice in others Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Most people are not startlingly beautiful or magically attractive. But someone who seems just moderately nice — to most people — can flower under the imaginative attention of a lover’s eye. Not … because the lover is somehow gilding the other with fictitious charms; but because the kind of attention the lover brings allows less obvious qualities to be seen and appreciated. — Armstrong (2002) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Deception? (Hancock et al. 2007) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Deception? (Hancock et al. 2007) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Deception? (Hancock et al. 2007) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Honestly…(?) • And yet: in Gibbs et al. (2006), 94% said they had not intentionally misrepresented themselves. • 87%: Doing so is not acceptable. • Still, they feel others are misrepresenting. • Why? Ellison et al. (2006) —Foggy mirrors, avoiding natural boundaries, portraying ideal selves… Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Is it deception? Or is it… • Misperception of self (foggy mirror) • Different readings of ambiguous labels • Self-enhancement (no intent to deceive) • Ideal self rather than actual self • Circumvention of technological constraints Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
The peril (and promise) of ambiguity (“everything looks perfectfrom far away…”) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Virtue in vagueness: Norah Jones The persona in her songs — let’s not call it Ms. Jones herself, because her life couldn't be this dull — might have lived practically anywhere in the developed world, at any time during the last century. Somehow Ms. Jones’s work has managed to make a virtue of vagueness. — The New York Times, Feb. 8, 2004, via Norton, Frost, & Ariely (2007) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
? I really like good music. I really like Billy Joel. Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Norton, Frost, and Ariely (2007) • People think more knowledge = more liking • Actually, more traits = less liking • Similarity mediates the relationship in (2) • Dissimilarity cascades • Moving from the lab to real dates: Knowledge, liking, similarity before and after Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Norton, Frost, and Ariely (2007) • People think more knowledge = more liking • Actually, more traits = less liking • Similarity mediates the relationship in (2) • Dissimilarity cascades • Moving from the lab to real dates: Knowledge, liking, similarity before and after Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Norton, Frost, and Ariely (2007) • People think more knowledge = more liking • Actually, more traits = less liking • Similarity mediates the relationship in (2) • Dissimilarity cascades • Moving from the lab to real dates: Knowledge, liking, similarity before and after Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore