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Discover the evolution of romantic relationships through computer-mediated communication, from intimate encounters to the timeless tradition of romantic love. Dive into the world of online dating, exploring the social shaping of technology design, mate selection theories, and the strategic self-presentation of online daters. Uncover the dynamics of mate selection, marriage markets, and the complexities of balancing accuracy and desirability in online profiles. With insights from research on attractiveness predictors and the interplay of photo-text combinations, this exploration sheds light on the nuances of online dating and the multifaceted nature of virtual relationships.
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Computer-Mediated Communication Intimate Relationships
Romantic love — a timeless tradition? Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Mediated meeting Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2008/04/08/boy-girl-computer/ Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Thousands of boys and girls who’ve never met plan weekends together, for now that punch-card dating’s here, can flings be far behind? And oh, it’s so right, baby. The Great God Computer has sent the word. Fate. Destiny. Go-go-go. online — Look Magazine, February 1966http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2008/04/08/boy-girl-computer/ Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Pew online dating survey (2006) 63m know someone who has used a dating site 16m have used a dating site themselves 53m know someone who has gone on a date 7m have gone on a date themselves 29% of online adults think online daters desperate (but only 20% of those single and looking) 64% of online dating users think the large pool helps people find a better date 47% of all online adults concur Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Social shaping of technology designers designers designers Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Online dating: The basics Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Fixed choice Photo Fixed choice Free text Fixed choice Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Online dating profiles • Combination of categorical descriptors, free text self-description, and photos • Highly optimized self-presentations • Carefully selected detail • Unlimited time to craft • Exaggerations? Lies? • A lot of people lie a little (Hancock et al. 2007) • Do they reflect actual self? Ideal self? Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Searching Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Matching Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Conceptual lensesCMCMate selectionSearching/MatchingSocial networks Marriage markets Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
? Individuals Dyads Populations Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Mate selection: Two perspectives Evolutionary psychology Assortative mating Claims we partner with people like us (homophily). Evident with regard to: Physical attractiveness, socioeconomic status, race, adult attachment style, personality traits, among others. Yet sometimes it’s more complicated than just similarity. • Claims we seek and offer traits associated with reproductive success, so: • Women seek men with resources, signaled by age, wealth, education, height, etc. • Men seek women with fertility, signaled by youth, facial symmetry, muscle tone, etc. Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
7 10 9 2 3 5 5 7 6 5 8 6 8 6 2 4 8 3 Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
10 6 7 9 5 2 3 6 7 5 2 5 4 8 8 3 6 8 Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
7 seeks 10 for an awkward time “Marriage markets” — differential exchange Some points to ponder: • Why wouldn’t a 7 want a 10? • What stops us from trading up repeatedly? • Opportunity cost of staying with current mate? Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
The tyranny of choice, or:Gourmet jam is not a date Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore (Gupta & Singh 1982)
The process of online dating Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Pieces of profiles:What predicts attractiveness? Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Photo × Text attractiveness Women’s profiles Men’s profiles Photo high Photo med Photo low Text low Text low Text high Text high Text med Text med Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Strategic vs. authentic vs. aspirationalself-presentation Anticipated future interaction? Actual self vs. ideal self? “Balancing accuracy and desirability” Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Participants from Ellison et al. • “In their profile they write about their dreams as if they are reality.” • “I’ve never known so many incredibly athletic women in my life!” • “I checked my profile and I had lied a little bit about the pounds, so I thought I had better start losing some weight so that it would be more honest.” Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Forming impressions in online dating • “Cognitive misers”: Making the most of limited cues • Social Information Processing (Walther) • Reciprocal re-use of whatthey notice in others Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Most people are not startlingly beautiful or magically attractive. But someone who seems just moderately nice — to most people — can flower under the imaginative attention of a lover’s eye. Not … because the lover is somehow gilding the other with fictitious charms; but because the kind of attention the lover brings allows less obvious qualities to be seen and appreciated. — Armstrong (2002) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Deception? (Hancock et al. 2007) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Deception? (Hancock et al. 2007) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Deception? (Hancock et al. 2007) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Honestly…(?) • And yet: in Gibbs et al. (2006), 94% said they had not intentionally misrepresented themselves. • 87%: Doing so is not acceptable. • Still, they feel others are misrepresenting. • Why? Ellison et al. (2006) —Foggy mirrors, avoiding natural boundaries, portraying ideal selves… Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Is it deception? Or is it… • Misperception of self (foggy mirror) • Different readings of ambiguous labels • Self-enhancement (no intent to deceive) • Ideal self rather than actual self • Circumvention of technological constraints Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
The peril (and promise) of ambiguity (“everything looks perfectfrom far away…”) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Virtue in vagueness: Norah Jones The persona in her songs — let’s not call it Ms. Jones herself, because her life couldn't be this dull — might have lived practically anywhere in the developed world, at any time during the last century. Somehow Ms. Jones’s work has managed to make a virtue of vagueness. — The New York Times, Feb. 8, 2004, via Norton, Frost, & Ariely (2007) Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
? I really like good music. I really like Billy Joel. Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Norton, Frost, and Ariely (2007) • People think more knowledge = more liking • Actually, more traits = less liking • Similarity mediates the relationship in (2) • Dissimilarity cascades • Moving from the lab to real dates: Knowledge, liking, similarity before and after Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Norton, Frost, and Ariely (2007) • People think more knowledge = more liking • Actually, more traits = less liking • Similarity mediates the relationship in (2) • Dissimilarity cascades • Moving from the lab to real dates: Knowledge, liking, similarity before and after Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore
Norton, Frost, and Ariely (2007) • People think more knowledge = more liking • Actually, more traits = less liking • Similarity mediates the relationship in (2) • Dissimilarity cascades • Moving from the lab to real dates: Knowledge, liking, similarity before and after Computer-Mediated Communication — Cheshire & Fiore