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How to Make Your Writing Better. Common Errors. This is a list of mistakes that almost 100 percent of students in both my journalism classes made. The too-long sentence. Too long!.
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Common Errors This is a list of mistakes that almost 100 percent of students in both my journalism classes made.
Too long! The Super Bowl, arguably the biggest sports event of the year, appeared on network television on Sunday night, featuring the Philadelphia Eagles, who had never won the big game, versus the Patriots, who are actually based in Foxboro, Massachusetts, and are anchored by quarterback Tom Brady, who is 40 years old.
Better The Super Bowl, arguably the biggest sports event of the year, appeared on network television on Sunday night. It featured the Philadelphia Eagles, who had never won the big game, versus the Patriots, who are actually based in Foxboro, Massachusetts. New England is anchored by quarterback Tom Brady, who is 40 years old.
How can you avoid long sentences? • Look at it. Does it look more like a paragraph than a sentence? • Read it all at once out loud. If you feel breathless, it’s too long. • Look at the number of “ands,” buts” and “becauses.” If you have more than one, consider breaking it up.
Incorrect: In the near future, I plan on opening a restaurant, I don’t know where it will be, but I’m excited. Correct: In the near future, I plan on opening a restaurant. I don’t know where it will be, but I’m excited. .
Incorrect: I want to improve my athletic skills, so that I can play in the World Cup, soccer is my passion, and I love it.Correct: I want to improve my athletic skills, so that I can play in the World Cup. Soccer is my passion, and I love it.
Incorrect: Some days I love to get away from the city. Go on long car rides and come home with stories to tell.Correct: Some days I love to get away from the city. I go on long car rides and come home with stories to tell. Correct: Some days I love to get away from the city and go on long car rides. I enjoy coming home with stories to tell.
Incorrect: I plan to intern at Power 105.1 FM. Standing alongside some of my favorite radio personalities.Correct: I plan to intern at Power 105.1 FM, standing alongside some of my favorite radio personalities.
Too many unnecessary words. Simple = better. Think “lean, mean, clean.” Wordy The issue of prejudice is confusing to me due to the fact that I am not cognizant of skin color. .
Better! Prejudice confuses me, because I don’t notice skin color.
Wordy I was made aware of the fact that my uncle died when I tuned into the television news.
Better! I turned on the news and found out my uncle had died.
Repetitiveness Incorrect Next, I plan to work at a music management company, working with singers and dancers.
correct Next, I plan to work at a music management company, working with singers and dancers.
Incorrect I love to cook and hope to find new and different ways of cooking the foods I love.
Correct I love to cook and hope to find new and different ways of preparing the foods I love.
In two years, I see myself with a great job. A year later, I see myself married with a child. I see myself quitting the job after the baby
To repeat myself…don’t repeat yourself! In two years, I see myself with a great job. A year later, I would like to be married with a child. After the baby, I will quit the job.
How to avoid being repetitive: • In journalism, you don’t need to “re-state the thesis” like in essay writing. • Find different words. Not: I love soccer and love baseball. Better: I love soccer and enjoy playing baseball. • Never say: Like I said before or As I mentioned previously or the “aforementioned….”
Incorrect and inconsistent CAPS; Use caps for proper names; none of these words, from your essays, need CAPS: high school, advertising, political science, event planner, public relations, journalism, media, creative writing, grandfather, graduate school, newsroom, sociology, board of education, producer, director, master’s degree
Passive Voice--uck! Be active, not passive. Don’t let something be done by somebody or something.
Better! The results indicate a number of things.
not Once the plan is put into place, success can be achieved.
Better Once I put the plan into place, I can achieve success. [note: you must know who the subject is!]
Heart disease is considered a preventable illness. • African Americans were discriminated against in the South. • Mistakes were made last year during the presidential election.
Replace all forms of the “to be” verb with active or action verbs Get rid of: there is, are, were, was, has been, could be…..etc. Do this EVEN if you have to re-work the sentence. Just don’t change the meaning.
Not Soccer is a sport that creates action.
Better Soccer creates action.
It helps to put the subject and the action at the beginning of the sentence!Not: There are three things I care about.Better: I care about three things.
Not The next thing I want to accomplish is to graduate from college.
Better Next, I want to graduate from college.
Not Professor Villarosa is a good teacher.
Better Professor Villarosa teaches well.
Not The Eagles were the winners against the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
Better • The Eagles beat the Patriots. • Poor Patriots—the Eagles swept by them near the end of the game. • Philadelphia crushed New England. • The Eagles kicked some Patriot tail -- sad! • The Eagles destroyed the (cheating, ball-deflating) Patriots.
checklist • Use spell check! • Make sure all names are correct. Unless you’re totally sure, look it up. • Read everything over to check for careless errors or typos. Even better, read it over out loud. • Get rid of any passive voice. • Replace “to be” with active or action verbs.
