Learning from Sibling Relationships

1. Learning from Sibling Relationships Adam and Debbie Race

2. Adam and his brothers • I have got three brothers • They are all older than me • I went to the same schools as my brothers • We all played a lot of sport • My favourites were football, cricket, pool and swimming

3. Adam and his brothers • I got good at sport especially football and pool • I joined the football team in Stoke-on–Trent • Then I was picked to play for the West Midlands team at the Special Olympics • I went to Glasgow with the team and we won gold medals • Everyone was very proud of us

4. Adam and his brothers • I was asked to join the pub pool team with my brothers • The first time I beat someone from another pub everyone was very pleased. • I have won lots of singles and doubles matches • I am sad that the pub does not have a pool team any more

5. Adam and his brothers • My brothers worked hard to pass their exams • I did the same and got 6 GCSE’s • My brothers went to University and I wanted to do the same • I went to High Peak College in Buxton when I left school. It is part of the University of Derby

6. Adam and his brothers • Now I live with my brother Jon and his dog Buster • We share the jobs out at home • He sorts the bills out and I do the cleaning • We both walk the dog • He showed me how to use the cooker and the washing machine • Sometimes he gets cross with me

7. Adam and his brothers • It’s cool having brothers • I can visit Philip in London and Simon in Scotland • Sometimes we go to the pub together but mainly I go when I want to • It was really good being an usher at Philip and Simon’s weddings • My brothers tease me and I tease them

8. Debbie and her sisters • I had a sister called Jenny who was 13 months older than me • She had Down’s Syndrome like Adam • We did masses of things together • Played and laughed and fell out • Started at the same school on the same day • Went to Brownies and Girl Guides • She learnt first aid at guides and helped our grandmother when she had a nasty accident and cut her leg

9. Debbie and her sisters • We both had another sister who was five years older than us. • She and I worked in different countries • Jenny was able to visit us in • Zambia • Hong Kong • Bermuda • Canada • Jenny became a godmother to her oldest nephew

10. Debbie and her sisters • Jenny got a job when she left school • She worked there for 27 years before she developed early onset Alzheimer's Disease • She used her retirement lump sum to take herself and her nephews to Disneyworld in Florida – This was a dream she had had for a long time

11. Debbie and her sisters • Adam remembers that Jenny liked to watch Dad’s Army, do jigsaws and play Yahtzee • She also liked watching cricket when her brother-in-law or nephews were playing

12. Sibling relationships • Mutuality of love and benefit • Life long and changing • Expanding developmental opportunities from shared experiences • High expectations and powerful advocacy • Imitation and interpersonal identification • Valued social participation

13. Lessons for building relationships • Start several – you do not know which ones will really work • Look for mutuality and sharing but not exclusivity • Expect and encourage difficulties and change • Find ways to support the relationship especially at times of physical distance • Educate the non disabled person in SRV (whether formally or informally) and empower them to advocate