Are You Listening? ASMC—PDI 2010

1. Are You Listening?ASMC—PDI 2010 John A. Kline, PhD Professor of Leadership Troy University www.klinespeak.com jkline@klinespeak.com or jkline@troy.edu

2. Listening Exercise Listen as I read a story, then be ready to answer questions when I finish. This exercise is from a book I wrote on listening a few years ago.

3. How well did you listen? • Distractions influence hearing and listening • Tough to get details hearing it just once • You may focus on the wrong things • Nonverbal cues affect listening • Location makes a difference • Familiarity can be a factor

4. Fallacies about Listening • Listening is not my problem • Listening and hearing are the same • Good readers are good listeners • Smarter people are better listeners • Listening improves with age • Listening skills are difficult to learn

5. Bad Listening Habits • Thinking about what we are going to say • Interrupting—hinders listening; is rude • Talking when we should be listening • Listening for what we expect to hear • Prejudice toward speaker or subject • Preoccupation with other things • Tendency to stereotype • Our self-centeredness • Not paying attention

6. Accident ExerciseFive volunteers will participate in an exercise while the audience observes: • What drops out • What is distorted • What is added

7. Effective Listening requires • Receiving • Attending • Understanding (Assigning Meaning) • Remembering • Responding

8. Listening Inventory

9. Types of Listening • INFORMATIVE – understand message • RELATIONAL – understand speaker • APPRECIATIVE – enjoy message, music, etc. • DISCRIMINATIVE – distinguish sounds • CRITICAL – evaluate message or person • While each type requires some different skills, let’s look at 18 suggestions for how to be a better listener—6 for what you Think; 6 for what you Feel; 6 for what you Do.

10. What you Think about Listening • Understand Listening is Complex • Know the fallacies • Know the bad habits • Know the types of listening • Prepare to Listen • Long-term: listen to tough stuff; build your vocabulary • Mid-term: do research; get background • Short-term: be in spring-loaded position • Adjust to the Situation • Focus on Ideas or Key Points • Capitalize on the Speed Differential • Look for Relationships to what You Already Know

11. Exercise:Value of seeing Relationships • Listen (don’t write) as I read a list of ten words. Then when I have finished, write as many as you can remember.

12. What you Feel about Listening • Want to Listen • Delay Judgment • Know Your Biases • Don’t Tune Out Dry Subjects • Put yourself in the speaker’s place • Ask how you can use the information • Pretend you must repeat the information • Accept Responsibility for Listening • Encourage Others to Talk • Talk less; listen more • Give positive feedback • Emphasize, share, keep confidences

13. What you Do about Listening • Establish Eye Contact with the Speaker • Take Notes Effectively • Be Physically Involved • Posture • Participation • Positive Attitude • Avoid Negative Mannerisms • Fidgeting, texting, disrupting, dull look • Exercise Your Listening Muscles • Follow the Golden Rule • Treat others the way you want them to treat you; So?

14. So What? • Make listening a priority • Keep on working at it • You can improve • It’s worth it • Listen!

15. Are You Listening?ASMC—PDI 2010 John A. Kline, PhD Professor of Leadership Troy University www.klinespeak.com jkline@klinespeak.com or jkline@troy.edu