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Types of Conflict

Types of Conflict. Blow-up-sudden eruption Civil-calm & rational Déjà vu-predictable/repeated pattern Indirect-not explicitly discussed Mock Sarcastic sniping-hostile sarcasm Silent treatment-two or more encounters. Power’s Close Ties with Conflict: Defining Characteristics. Power:

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Types of Conflict

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  1. Types of Conflict • Blow-up-sudden eruption • Civil-calm & rational • Déjà vu-predictable/repeated pattern • Indirect-not explicitly discussed • Mock • Sarcastic sniping-hostile sarcasm • Silent treatment-two or more encounters

  2. Power’s Close Ties with Conflict: Defining Characteristics Power: • Always present-symmetrical & complementary • Can be used ethically & unethically • Is granted • Influences most conflicts

  3. Power Currencies: Possess or Control Some Resource • Resource Currency: material-$, property, food • Expertise Currency: special skills/knowledge • Social Network Currency: links with family, friends, acquaintances • Personal Currency: physical beauty, intelligence, charm, Comm skills, funny • Intimacy Currency: unique bond

  4. How do you approach conflict? Avoiding • Keep issues to myself • Usually avoid open discussion of my differences w/ others • Try to stay away from topics of disagree. • Keep disagreements to myself to avoid hard feelings • Try to avoid unpleasant exchanges Accommodating • Generally try to satisfy others’ needs • Usually accommodate others’ wishes • Give in to others’ desires • Often go w/ others’ suggestions • Try to satisfy others’ expectations

  5. Conflict approaches cont. Competing • Use my influence to get my ideas accepted • Use my authority to make decisions go in my favor • Pursue my side of an issue • Sometimes use my power to win • Use my expertise to make sure decisions go my way Collaborating • Investigate issues to find solutions acceptable to both • Integrate my ideas w/ those of others to come up w/ decision jointly • Work w/others to find solutions that satisfy both our expectations • Exchange info w/ others so we can solve problems together • Bring all our concerns out in the open so issues can be resolved

  6. COMMUNICATION PATTERNS IN CONFLICT UNPRODUCTIVE-Early Disconfirming climate Poor listening Evident, negative nonverbal Cross-complaining Assuming, Discounting, Mind-reading

  7. Unproductive cont. Middle • Negative climate cont. to spiral • Kitchen-sinking • Interruptions • Derailing-rerouting • Cross-complaining & cutting other off

  8. Unproductive cont. Later • Self-preoccupation • Counterproposals-competing • Self-summarizing • Egocentric communication • Metacommunication • Promotes dogmatism, rigid thinking, etc

  9. Negative Spiral Egocentrism Poor listening Disconfirmation Defensiveness Dogmatism Hostile mind reading Kitchen-sinking Self-summarizing…..

  10. Constructive Conflict Early • Climate sets the tone-recognizing & acknowledging • Sensitivity • Use of “I” language • Openness • Use of questioning

  11. Constructive cont. Middle • Agenda building-focusing • Bracketing for side issues • Ongoing respect demonstrated • Perception checking • Clarifying • Acknowledge ideas, feelings, concerns

  12. Constructive cont. Later • Collaborative resolution • Contracting-negotiating & acceptance

  13. Short-Term Conflict Resolutions • Separation • Domination • Compromise • Integrative agreements • Structural improvements

  14. Long-Term Conflict Resolutions • Collaboration

  15. Unsolvable Conflicts You & the other • Are not willing to change • Have goals that are irreconcilable & strongly held • Uncooperative • Chronically defensive • Violent

  16. Grace • Let go of anger, blame, judgments • Given with no strings • Not always appropriate • May be a measurement of how a relationship progresses

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