WELCOME TO INFLUENCING SKILLS Anthony Rees
Anthony Rees • Facilitation, Training and Personal Development Consultant • BSc (Hons), MBA, MBTI, SDI, Belbin & DISC Accredited • Fellow Institute of Management Consulting • 20 years FS / Management Consultancy and client facing roles • Consultancy and Sales • Clients include Visa International, BAE Systems, Nokia Siemens, SmartStream, Odyssey, Wall Street Systems, Motorola, BT, PSD Group, Hedra, Capita & Capco. • FS Clients include JPMorgan Chase, Deutsche Bank, ABN, ING, EBRD, BNP Paribas
What is Influencing? Successful influencing means getting a result which meets the legitimate needs of both sides.
Influencing is not…….. • Forcing others to accept your point of view • Continuously nagging until they agree • Bargaining • Giving in to someone else’s view, even when you believe that they are morally wrong • Giving advice
Agenda • Aristotle art of persuasion • Stakeholder analysis • Trusted Advisor • Trust Equation • Pull / push skills • Influencing Strategies
Ethos, logos, pathos You Message Your client Logos Pathos Ethos Your understanding of and empathy with your client Credibility Self-confidence Presence Authority Content and benefits of the message
Ethos, pathos, logos • We need a minimum amount of each component, otherwise the client won’t listen to us
Push and pull Push Pull • Talking about facts and targets • Giving opinions and judgements • Insisting on a point of view • Negating or going against the other’s perceptions • Asking about values, principles, priorities and needs • Interest in the other’s perceptions and emotions • Asking the other to explain themselves and/or give examples of what they mean • Inviting new ideas, helping to flesh them out • Encouraging new perspectives • Respecting the other’s integrity
Success factors Push Pull • The quality of the questions used to obtain information and check understanding • The capacity to put yourself in your client’s shoes • The ability to build on your client’s proposals • The quality of the ideas • The credibility and authority of the speaker • The ability to make the right people at your support your proposals
Umm, good morning, I mean good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Rees and I think we may be somewhere near London on hopefully our final approach to London Heathrow. It is uncertain when we will land as air traffic control may or may not let us land, but hopefully I will try and get you down there sometime soon.
How to increase your ethos, logos, pathos You Message Your client Logos Pathos Ethos Ask many open questions to find out your client’s priorities Prepare meetings Follow-up actions Calm confident voice and body language Prepare message
Trusted Advisor Breadth of business issues Subject matter expert Depth of Personal Relationship A Trusted Advisor (David Maister)
The Trust Equation (Maister) T = C + R + I S Where: T = Trustworthiness C = Credibility R = Reliability I = Intimacy S = Self orientation
Four Pull Skills of Influencing - Jenny Rogers • Create rapport • Authentic listening • Ask open questions • Be assertive
Create Rapport • Body language – Open posture, tone of voice gesture, eye contact, how we occupy a space. • Matching – body language, way you occupy a space,
Listening…the other side of communication Too many people see communication as merely speaking. Messages must be received as well as sent. A good question to ask yourself is, are you really listening or simply waiting for your turn to talk? If you are thinking about your reply before the other person has finished, then you are not listening!
Poor listening habits are: • Not paying attention • Not answering concerns, because you haven’t really heard the client • Rambling on, changing topics • Feeling defensive • Interrupting • Listening for points of disagreement
Effective listening behaviour consists of: • Focusing on the speaker • Listening for the whole message • Listening without thinking what you are going to say next • Hearing before evaluating • Addressing concerns with specific answers • Paraphrasing what was heard • Watching nonverbal cues
Asking questions A man is pushing a car to a hotel. When he gets there the hotel owner demands a large sum of money. Why?
Questions I keep six honest serving men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who. Rudyard Kipling: "Just so stories"
Questioning Styles • An OPEN question is one that encourages a full response • A CLOSED question is one that can be answered with a short answer
Assertiveness • Ask for what you want • Set the request straightforwardly using ‘I’ • Use the persons name • Say no • Explain why? • Have an opinion
Influencing strategy Attitude For Coalition building Winning on board Win over/ coalition building Neutral Leave alone Take out of play Against Distract or fragment Low Medium High Influence