De-Stressing and Self Care The Magic Wand Approach

1. De-Stressing and Self CareThe Magic Wand Approach WSCH Workshop T-26, May 12, 2011 9:00am-12:00pm Presenter: Jennifer Martin A perspective from a “stressaholic”, social worker, single mom, advocate, entertainer,etc.

2. The Story of the Magic Wand Maybe because I am a social worker and we are often “expected to work miracles”, one of my favorite bumper stickers says,

3. WARNING! This Magic Wand only works on you! If you try to use it on a loved one, co-worker, client, or anyone else it won’t work.

4. Are you at your rope’s end? What causes you stress?

5. When all else fails……… www.buzzle.com

6. Understanding Stress Do you ask yourself why am I constantly stressed and how does it come to this? Ever wonder what are the causes of stress and how does it affect you? First of all you have to know that stress is mostly negative but sometimes it is positive and it motivates your action and performance. The causes of stress depend not only on the outer factors but also depend on your personality and the way you respond to specific situations, life changes, and challenges that you are facing. For example maybe you enjoy riding a bicycle to work every day while for others this is very stressful and you might get to exhausted, sweaty or annoyed by the unpleasant ride with a bike. By understanding the causes of stress you can find the solution for suitable stress reduction. www.buzzle.com

7. Top 10 Causes of Stress • Death of a Spouse/Partner • Divorce • Marriage • Jail Term • Injury or Illness • Family problems • Death of a close friend or relative • Fired or laid off from job • Retirement • Financial problems www.buzzle.com

8. Making a Commitment to Change How you React to Stress takes Effort Your Attitude is the Key

9. REMEMBERA dessert a day keeps the stress away!

10. Causes of Stress in Women • Work related problems • Relationship problems • Financial problems • Loneliness • Health problems • Death of a close person www.buzzle.com

11. Stress Symptoms in Women • Physical Symptoms Headaches on a daily basis, which are also known as “tension headaches, are often caused by stress. Other symptoms include backache, stomach cramps, diarrhea, tightness in the chest, difficulty breathing, loss of sexual interest and insomnia. • Behavioral Symptoms Irritability is the most common stress symptom for women. Irritability is often followed by other emotional and behavioral symptoms like anger, mood swings, and weeping. Constant worrying, difficulty in concentrating and decision making is also observed when a woman is under constant stress. These symptoms can lead to negative reactions like suspicion, temper, forgetfulness, low self esteem and depression. www.buzzle.com

12. Signs of Stress in Men

13. Stress Symptoms in Men • Extreme Exhaustion The most common stress fatigue symptoms in men is lack of energy and exhaustion. A feeling of weakness and loss of energy makes it difficult to concentrate on his daily work. It is not only physical, rather a mental crushing of the individuals ability to take on the pressures of work. • Irregular Sleeping Patterns Disturbed sleeping patterns experiencing either too much or more probably too little sleep. It may also be accompanied by nightmares. • Excessive Anxiety Constant worrying creates a vicious cycle of negative thinking and ruins the mental peace of the individual. • Irritability Sudden mood swings and behavioral changes mark the beginning of stress symptoms in men. Signs include losing patience over even the smallest problem which evokes rude and harsh behavior. • Guilt and Feeling of Worthlessness An increase in the intensity of emotional upheaval is the feeling of guilt in the sufferer’s mind. A deep emotional anguish over past events or failures leads to a feeling of worthlessness in the mind of the sufferer. www.buzzle.com/article by Kundan Pandey

14. Effects of stress at work The never ending “paperwork”……………..

15. Coping with Stress at Work • Identify the Cause Ask yourselfwhat situations are responsible for your workplace stress? Is it an irritable co-worker, a project deadline, or fear of losing your job? Once you have identified it analyze the problem and find a solution for it. • Organize your Work The danger in “multi-tasking” is you are trying to handle so many things at once that you end up stressing yourself out. Make a list of your responsibilities and rank them as high or low priority. Then, finish the high priority work first and if time permits, only then put your hand on less priority tasks. Thus advanced planning is helpful in relieving stress at work. • Keep Realistic Expectations We may expect too much from ourselves. When we fail to meet our own expectations we feel guilty, frustrated and that gives us a lot of mental stress. When you know your limitations and work within that parameter, then handling stress at work becomes much easier • Keep a Positive Frame of Mind When things are not going in your favor, then negative thoughts creep up and make you feel bad. Try to discard those thoughts form your mind and think of the positive aspects of the situation. www.buzzle.com/article by Bidisha Mukherjee 11/18/2010

16. STOP SHOULD’ING ON YOURSELF!

17. What is your Stability Zone? Finding peace amid chaos Alvin Toffler’s concept is fairly simple. Stability zones are places or things that make you Feel safe, relaxed, and secure. Think of them as buffers-types of protection against the outside world. When you’re in or with your stability zone you feel safe. It’s something Familiar, something that doesn’t change. www.mindtools.com

18. Your bathroom A room in your house Place Stability Zones

19. People Stability Zones Have you hugged a friend today?

20. Things Stability Zones A comfy pair of pajamas or a favorite blanket

21. Learning to Stay Calm “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg not by smashing it open.” -Arnold Glasgow, American humorist www.mindtool.com

22. Why Practice Patience? Others often see impatient people as arrogant, insensitive, and impulsive. They make quick judgments or interrupt people. They have poor people skills and bad tempers. People with these personality traits are unlikely to be at the top of the list for promotions to leadership positions. The Classis Impatient TV Character George from Seinfeld www.mindtool.com

23. Signs of Impatience • Shallow breathing • Muscle tension • Hand or jaw clenching • Jiggling/restless feet or hands • Anger/irritability • Rushing • Snap/quick decisions Know your “triggers”-Make a list of things that cause you to be impatient www.mindtool.com

25. Managing the Symptoms • Take deep, slow breaths and count to 10. Doing this helps slow your heart rate, relaxes your body, and distances you emotionally from the situation. Also known as “Grown Up” time outs. • Consciously focus on relaxing your body and focus on your neck, back and feet muscles. • Learn to manage your emotions. Remember you can choose to be patient. • Force yourself to slow down. Make yourself speak and act more slowly. It will appear to others as if you are calm- and by “acting” patient you can “feel” more patient. • Practice active listening and empathetic listening. Make sure you give other people your full attention and patiently plan your response to what they say. • Remind yourself that your impatience rarely gets others to move faster • Try to talk yourself out of your impatient frame of mind. www.mindtool.com

26. Find your Happy Place Gives new meaning to “office space”……………………………….

27. 10 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress • Breathe Easy- Take a purposeful deepbreath every morning when you awake and at bedtime • Create Joy and Satisfaction- Leisure activities serve as a distraction, try to laugh at some of the hassles in your life and try skipping instead of walking on occasion. • Take Care of Your Spirit- Spirituality can help remind you of the good in the world and give you a sense of purpose and meaning. Also try meditation or yoga to help center your mind and body • Deal Better with Hard Times- Write it out- set aside 15 minutes a day to journal how you feel, or shift your thinking to how this is an opportunity to learn, grow and focus on the good aspects of your life • Connect with Others- Loneliness is unhealthy and people with strong social ties live longer. Enroll in a class that intrigues you, join a book group or a hiking club and reach out to others with common interests • Stay Positive- Search for the silver lining, share your good news, write a thank you letter to someone who has been particularly kind, and savor the moment by enjoying the sunshine or the spring flowers. • Help Others- Look for the small opportunities like smiling at a stranger on the street, serving your spouse bed in breakfast, or letting someone go in front of you at the grocery store • Get Enough Sleep- Assess your sleep and if you don’t use an alarm clock you are getting enough sleep. Set a regular bedtime, relax by taking a hot bath and de-caffeinate yourself 6 to 8 hours before bed • Get Physically Active- Exercise will relieve pent up muscle tension, stimulates feel good hormones and increases blood flow to the brain. Try to get at least 30 minutes of moderate aerobic activity 5 days a week PLUS strengthening twice a week • Eat Well- Eating well will boost your energy, provide fuel to your brain, and affect mood-related body chemicals. Don’t skip meals, snack well, be carb smart and eat whole grains, cut back on caffeine, reduce saturated fats and cholesterol. Eat dark chocolate and try vitamins B-12, folate, and Omega 3 fatty acids. www.healthline.com

28. PRACTICE STRESS BUSTERS • Laughing • Watch a funny movie • Exercise • Play a game • Take a bubble bath • Hang out with friends • Favorite Hobby- (i.e. knitting or crocheting) • Take a nature hike

29. MY COMMITMENT’S PAGE I will try to commit everyday to manage my stress by……………………………………………