Amazing Grace

1. Amazing Grace My true, personal account of God’s Amazing Grace! By: Misha Hines Accompanied with “Amazing Grace” by Darlene Zschech

2. As always I couldn't sleep, but what the good Lord did for me in the early hours of the morning made it all so worth it! Before I tell you what happened, I have to give you an idea about the place my heart was in.

3. My heart has been full of MANY things from constant money problems, to someone very near to my heart committing suicide recently, to issues with my marriage.  Not to mention everything from the past, beginning as far back as 5 years old.  I have never been able to "give it to God" as I've been told to do, no matter how badly I wanted to.  Also, for about the past year I have been in an off and on fight with my mentor, who not only saved my life but introduced me to God.  As some may imagine, this has been weighing VERY heavy on my heart, especially knowing that it was mostly because of me that we fought.

4. Ok so this is what He did for me..... I was on my porch crying and praying out loud, from the bottom of my heart; I was asking for forgiveness, confessing all my flaws, anxieties, fears and convictions, all my guilt and sorrows as well as expressing how THANKFUL I am for everything in my life whether good or bad.  I was admitting how difficult it is for me to give Him all those things I badly needed to give Him, even though He has shown me time and time again that it's ok, that He's got this.

5. I was asking Him to somehow show my mentor that I am truly sorry, and to somehow show her what's deep within my heart; because even though I am thankful for everything He has given me, the gift of her was different, special.  Without Him I know I wouldn't have met her, but without her I would have NEVER known Him. I told Him, "God, tonight I am opening my heart wide for You to take it ALL; every fear, anxiety, regret, flaw, every broken piece of my heart I have held on to because I cannot change, I cannot move on until I give it all to You." I begged Him to PLEASE take it all, so that He could fix my heart, to make it perfect again - as He sees it.

6. In that moment I closed my eyes and He showed them ALL to me as He took them, like a very vivid slideshow.  Everything I was holding on to from my dad's death to my being molested as a child; to regrets over mistakes I have made with my mentor, my husband and children, and so many others in the past; the guilt and sorrow I had felt over my own suicide attempts, and fears I had for my kids, along with all the money problems; to the guilt I held, feeling I had failed my dear friend who committed suicide.  ALL the sadness within my heart, EVERYTHING.

7. I wept UNCONTROLLABLY, with everything I am as He showed me what He was taking away, and what I had been holding on to for so long. All of those feelings and emotions that I felt in that moment were SO overpowering; it's unexplainable, unimaginable Even to me!

8. Then...... It suddenly stopped, all tears were gone; I felt nothing but peace and an AMAZING LOVE!  No more sadness, no more fear, no more regret, no more guilt, no more sorrow; I was no longer broken.  It was nothing like I have ever experienced before, let alone imagined I would experience.

9. All I could say was, "Thank you for taking them!"  I think I was in shock because I had never really believed I deserved His mercy, His Amazing Grace and He had just shown me that I do!

10. As I sit here reflecting on this experience; I am praying for ALL of mankind to experience His love in some kind of AMAZING way as I have, because until you feel it for yourself, you can never truly understand the depth of His Almighty, UNDYING Love for YOU.

11. Thank You for listening, I am praying for you! I have no other way to end my story than with my favorite bible verse: