Soothing Our Students' Souls: Practical & Fun Ways to Help Worried Students

1. Soothing our Students’ Souls Some practical & fun ways to help our students who worry Jennifer Cowen

2. Who Am I? Counselor at Sunset Valley ES & previously at Friendship ES Former 5th Grade teacher & GT Specialist Wife & a mom to 2 wonderful kiddos (who worry:) Dog Mommy to 2 dogs (who also worry)

3. The biggest worrier of all!

4. Who do we have in the audience?

5. Why is this important to address worries or anxious thinking? 1 in 3 children(31.9%) will meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder before they turn 18 40 million adults suffer from anxiety (& were most likely children who suffered) As adults, we often pass this way of thinking along to our children Children’s Mental Health (Child Mind Institute) report of 2017

6. What do worries look like in our children Trouble focusing Irritability, crying, tantrums Trouble sleeping School avoidance or wanting to come home early- pyschosomatic Phobias Anger- Aggressive behavior

7. Fear vs. Anxiety Fear vs. anxiety

8. Worrying is NORMAL and can keep us safe in certain situations that might be dangerous. However, when we become stuck in our thinking and worrying affects our daily living is when we need to take action.

9. The role of our brain in our emotions The Glitter Jar

10. How can we try to help? Empathize always first & teach them a variety of coping skills so they can find some that work for them Stop telling your child not to worry , there’s nothing to worry about or discarding their feelings (teach them to F.E.E.L instead) Teach your child what is appropriate worrying and how it can help us Bring your child’s worries to life (Sock buddies), worry friend-- What would you like to tell your worry? Can you draw your worry? What’s the size of your worry? Teach your child to be a “worry detective”= accurate thinking vs. distorted thinking (3 Cs) Allow them to worry (worry time, worry box)- tell me about it Ideas from www.gozen.com

11. how can we try to help? Help your child go from what if to what is (mindfulness activities help); Knowledge is power-- help pre plan as much as possible Try “laddering” instead of avoiding- break up the worries into smaller chunks and help your child set goals to work on (i.e afraid of dogs-- start with a stuffed animal, a show about dogs, before moving onto a real dog) Practice self compassion💕-- worrying is NOT an indication that something is wrong with you Remind them of past successes and that this feeling will pass Ideas from www.gozen.com

12. F.E.E.L. method • FREEZE-- Pause & take some deep breaths with your child • EMPATHIZE-- “I understand you are worried, scared, etc.” • EVALUATE-- once calm, brainstorm possible options • LET IT GO-- Parents need to understand they are doing the best they can (let go of all that yucky parent guilt) Ideas from www.gozen.com

13. How to be a Thought Detective The Best remedy for distorted thinking is accurate thinking The 3 Cs... • Catchyour thoughts • Collectevidence (remember feelings are not facts) • Challengeyour thoughts Ideas from www.gozen.com

14. Bubbles Mindfulness Activities Hoberman Sphere MODEL The importance of Breathing

15. Square Breathing

16. You are in control of your thinking

17. Experiential & art Activities

18. racing thoughts activity Using a balloon—place beans in it with examples of racing thoughts Blow up balloon and tie—draw a face with sharpie then shake up the balloon—beans bounce around to represent the racing thoughts; Have your child suggest a coping strategy to stop the racing thoughts, for example: take deep breaths Practice this strategy and the “racing” slows down and then stop. Practice several rounds with different coping strategies—write coping strategies on the back side of the balloon.

19. Sock Buddies Using different types of socks, allow children to choose their filler (rice, beans, flour); Fill up and then decorate the outside with something that makes them feel calm. Heating up in the microwave for 30-45 seconds helps melt away the worries

20. The size of my worries Size of our worries Have students write their worries on strips of paper. Fill a cup with ½ way with water and this represents your life flowing along. Using different sized rocks and pebbles, students choose one to represent each of their worries and put it in the cup. If their water overflows, what can you do to “shrink” that worry? Using the same worries, cut string the “size” of the worry. Tape each of the worries to a long manila paper and label them. What can you do to “cut down the weeds of worry”… Students actually say out loud what they will do and cut using scissors the “weeds” of worry

21. Sun Catchers How do YOU allow the sun back into your life when you are filled with clouds (AKA worries)... children can identify the coping strategies that best work for them and then create a suncatcher, using transparent beads in a pie pan;Place a small washer inside the beads & bake at 425 until you hearing a popping sound (about 15 minutes)

22. Mindfulness~ What you are already doing… Paying attention when your child is telling you about their day Relaxing with a hot shower at the end of the day Enjoying the sunset Savoring your food, especially cake! Cooking (hard to lose focus when you are using a knife)

23. Mindfulness~ Teaching this to our children

24. TALK to someone Children must know they have someone they can trust to talk to when the worries become too big for them to handle alone.

25. Make & Take time Stress balls with flour Worry Dolls Supplies: Balloons, water bottles & flour Pipe cleaners & scissors

26. Good luck!

27. Parenting books

28. mindful & relaxation Apps • Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame (ages 2-5) • Calm • Dreamy Kid (Kids & teens) • Headspace • Stop, Breathe, and Think Kids • Breathing Bubbles • Smiling Mind (ages 7-18) • Take a Chill (costs 1.99) • Mood Meter * • Super Stretch Yoga

29. Anxiety is manageable when we teach our children COPING SKILLS Thank you for being present today! Jennifer Cowen Twitter- @CowenMy jennifer.cowen@kellerisd.net 817-743-8212 ABOVE ALL, there is HOPE