What To Look For If Your Child Is A Victim Of Bullying

What To Look For If Your Child Is A Victim Of Bullying • Children who are victims of bullies display many behaviors that result in avoiding situations or getting nurturing attention from adults.

What To Look For If Your Child Is A Victim Of Bullying • These behaviors are not meant to be a profile of a victim and you should carefully consider them when addressing bullying.

What To Look For If Your Child Is A Victim Of Bullying • Taken alone or in isolation you may find that there is a normal conflict occurring between two students; however, when there is a cluster of these behaviors a more serious situation may be occurring.

Your child may be a victim if he has: • Excuses for not wanting to come to school • Unexplained bruises • Torn clothes

Your child may be a victim if he has: • Sudden loss of appetite • A huge appetite when getting home after school • An unexplained need for extra school supplies

Your child may be a victim if he has: • Sudden academic problems • Problems sleeping or has nightmares • Secretive or sullen behavior

Your child may be a victim if he has: • Temper outbursts • Rushes to bathroom when arriving home • Frequent trips to the nurse (reported by the school) for mysterious ailments

What you can do as a parent if you believe your child is a victim • Let the school know your concerns. Make it a habit to talk to them about your suspicions. • Ask your child specific questions such as “Who is a bully in your class?” or “Who picks on other kids during recess or on the bus?”

What you can do as a parent if you believe your child is a victim • Keep detailed records of events including time, date, location, names of those involved, and the circumstances of the event. • Encourage your child’s school to implement a “No Bullying Allowed” code. It should have very strict consequences for displaying bully behavior.

What you can do as a parent if you believe your child is a victim • Teach your child self respect and assertiveness – children with these traits are less often bullied. • Let your child know it is ok to express anger in appropriate ways

What you can do as a parent if you believe your child is a victim • Encourage your child to build friendships – there is strength in numbers. • Set up weekend play dates with other families to help build friendships.

What you can do as a parent if you believe your child is a victim • Teach your child solid social skills such as sharing, compromises, apologies, and using “I” messages. Practice these with your child. • Don’t advise your child to ignore or attack the bully. This may result in more verbal or physical abuse.

What you can do as a parent if you believe your child is a victim • Teach your child the differences between telling and tattling. (i.e., Tattling is when you report a behavior to get someone in trouble; telling is when you report someone is in danger.)

Ways to teach your child to be safe • Teach your child how: • to avoid reacting in an emotional manner to a bully • to know the safe adults in the building are and when to go to these people

Ways to teach your child to be safe • Teach your child how: • to display calm behavior in front of a bully (practice them at home) • to be assertive with a bully. This works best when there is no crowd present to give the bully strength or support. Simply put, your child should tell the bully that the does bullying behavior is not okay, it is not allowed, and that, if it does not stop, your child will tell an adult.

Ways to teach your child to be safe • Teach your child how: • to stay with other children. Safety in numbers is a good rule to follow; bullies like to get their victims alone so they have no one to help them. • to do the unexpected such as using humor to defuse the situation (“You’re right my dad is fat…in fact we had to put in a double door so he could get out of the house!”)

Ways to teach your child to be safe • Teach your child how: • to own the put-down from the bully. It is hard for a bully to get the best of a victim if the victim agrees with what the bully says.

What To Look For If Your Child Is A Victim Of Bullying