Today’s Family Tree

1. “If there is righteousness in the heart,There will be beauty in the character.If there is beauty in the character,There will be harmony in the home,If there is harmony in the home,There will be order in the nation,If there is order in the nation,There will be peace in the world.”(Chinese proverb)

2. Today’s Family Tree Gary Sarvel, Indianapolis News, Aug. 19, 1983

3. Why Marriages Fail • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism

4. Why MarriagesFail, Really

5. Poor Choices

6. Questions For Couples • “Do you both have a scriptural right to be married to one another?” • “Does your prospective mate have most of the qualities that you desire in a mate?” • “Are you compatible with one another?”

7. Questions For Couples • “Do you both believe in the permanence of marriage?” • “Do you know the difference between true love and infatuation?” • “Do you both have similar attitudes toward children and child-raising?”

8. Questions For Couples • “Do you have similar attitudes toward work?” • “Do you have similar attitudes toward money and finances?” • “Do you have similar family backgrounds?”

9. Questions For Couples • “Do you come from a similar soci-economic level?” • “Do you have similar intellectual abilities and educational backgrounds?” • “What kind of relationship will you have with your in-laws?”

10. Questions For Couples • “Do you have very similar religious beliefs and convictions?” • “Is your prospective mate a person of principle and character?” • “Is this person your best friend?”

11. Advice For Couples • Don’t date someone you wouldn’t consider marrying • Don’t think you’ll change the other person • Take your time • Fall in love with a Christian • Pray for God’s help

12. If You Marry Outside Your Faith • “Protestants”: 6.8% were separated • “Catholics”: 6.4% were separated • Mixed religious background: 15.2% were separated • No religious affiliation: 16.7% were separated (Maryland Study with 12,000 young people)

13. Pick A Mate • Who respects God’s word • Who has spiritual goals and values • Who can adjust and compromise • Who willingly corrects major flaws • Who shows signs of maturity • Who can and will communicate

14. Pick A Mate • Who can offer more than physical attractiveness • Who knows the difference between sex and love • Who is a good friend • Who views marriage as permanent (L. A. Stauffer, Family Life: A Biblical Perspective, pp. 90-94)

15. A Careful Choice • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity

16. Half-Hearted Commitment HERMAN “You’re supposed to say ‘I do’not ‘I’ll try.’”

17. God Demands Total Commitment • Marriage is a permanent relationship • Divorce is sinful • Remarriage is adultery

18. Whole-Hearted Commitment • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity

19. Inadequate Communication

20. Keys To Communication • Create a conducive atmospherefor communication • Learn to be a good listener • Think about not only what you say but how you say it

21. Keys To Communication • Set aside some time every day to talk • Communicate your love and affection for one another • Speak your mate’s language

22. Effective Communication • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity

23. Insufficient Cooperation

24. Longfellow’s Hiawatha “As unto the bow the cord is,So unto man is woman;Though she bends him she obeys him,Though she draws him, yet she follows,Useless each without the other!” (Henry W. Longfellow, Hiawatha, Pt. X, l. 1-5)

25. Areas For Cooperation • The roles of headship and submission • The roles of breadwinner and homemaker • The sexual relationship

26. Mutual Cooperation • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity

27. Little Consideration THE LOCKHORNS ByBill Hoest “I told you that I loved you twenty years ago. Have you forgotten already?

28. Inconsideration • Complaining & criticism • Nagging • Thoughtlessness • Unfair comparisons • Unrealistic expectations • Unkindness

29. Consideration • Interest • Appreciation • Kindness • Patience • Tolerance • TheGolden Rule

30. Husbands • Love • Nourish • Cherish • Know • Honor

31. Wives… • Submit • Fear • Love • Be kind

32. Care & Concern • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity

33. Unresolved Conflicts

34. Resolving Conflicts • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity

35. Discontentment THE LOCKHORNS By Bill Hoest “I think I liked it better when you never took me anywhere.”

36. Contentment • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity

37. Complacent Co-existence

38. Sharing & Caring • Sexual Incompatibility • Irreconcilable Differences • Financial Irresponsibility • Alcoholism • Religious Discord • In-Law Interference • Infidelity • Immaturity

39. Why Marriages Fail, Really • Little Consideration • Unresolved Conflicts • Discontentment • Complacent Co-existence • Poor Choices • Half-Hearted Commitment • Inadequate Communication • Insufficient Cooperation