Childhood Social Development

1. Childhood Social Development

2. Researcher John Bowlby argues that the nature of early relationships shape beliefs about oneself and others that influences social competence and well-being throughout life • Hazan and Shaver used infant attachment theory as the basis for examining how adult love relationships are related to early parent-child interactions • Adults with secure attachment are more likely to have intimate relationships characterized by trust and happiness • Adults with avoidant attachment are marked by fear and intimacy and emotional highs and lows • Adults with anxious/ambivalent attachment experience love with obsession and jealousy

3. Attachment: is the feeling of an emotional tie between people • Infants are basically helpless, so they become strongly attached to those who care for them • Attachment usually occurs around month 4 of life • Stranger Anxiety: some infants form a fear of those who are unknown • Usually around 8 months • Separation Anxiety: causes infants to cry and act in distress when they leave their primary caregiver

4. Contact Comfort: is the instinctual need to be touched by something that is soft • Imprinting: is the process by which some animals form immediate attachments during critical periods • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vwSRbnHgO0&feature=related

5. Read the situation on your index card and decide how you would handle the situation

6. Parenting Styles • Permissive – parents tend to let their kids do whatever they want; don’t make any rules & fail to enforce the few rules they may make; children don’t learn about unacceptable behavior & its consequences • children are usually impulsive, irresponsible & lack self-discipline; have trouble making decisions & don’t get along well with others • Authoritarian – style of parenting in which they are rigid & inflexible; rules are set down & compliance is demanded; harsh punishments often given to kids when disobedient; children have little if any input on how their lives are governed • children aren’t usually good at making decisions because they are not allowed to; tend to be moody, have poor self-esteem & trouble getting along with others • Authoritative – this style puts parents in role of authority figure but not as extreme as authoritarian; rules are made & enforced but parents can be flexible & caring; interested in their children’s views; try to help their kids grow as individuals; try to help them solve their own problems; listen & offer suggestions • children raised in this environment tend to be self-reliant, friendly & self-confident; take responsibility for themselves & are well adjusted with stable relationships • Neglectful – provide neither warmth nor control. They may meet basic physical needs but minimize the amount of time they spend with their children and avoid becoming emotionally involved with them. • Children usually have very low self-worth and great difficulty in dealing with authority figures

7. Find the other people in the class with the same situation as your own • Discuss how you might handle the situation • Discuss how a parent practicing each of the 4 parenting styles might handle the situation

8. Lynds Alwin Bernt Bernt (1929) (1997) (1978) (1989) Frankness/honesty 27 26 56 38 Desire to make a name for one’s self 5 1 3 4 Concentration 9 7 0 0 Social mindedness 13 26 48 30 Strict obedience 45 17 8 0 Appreciation of art, music 9 5 12 8 Economy in money matters 25 17 11 30 Loyalty to the church 50 22 12 11 Knowledge of sexual hygiene 15 8 3 4 Tolerance of others 6 47 15 11 Curiosity 1 10 17 4 Patriotism 21 4 5 4 Good manners 30 23 8 30 Independence 25 76 40 34 Academic Achievement 19 6 17 30 Willingness to work hard -- -- 45 64 How have parenting styles changed overtime? Do they reflect changes in society as a whole?

9. Child Abuse • Physical punishment isn’t a good way to handle problems • Discipline & guidelines help children grow psychologically • When physical punishment is too harsh, it becomes child abuse • Psychological abuse can also occur but is harder to define • 2 ½ million cases of child abuse/neglect are reported annually in the U.S. • Whether a parent will abuse a child depends on a lot of different things • Most abusers don’t know much about children & can get frustrated with toilet training & babies crying • Factors that lead to child abuse can include: financial problems, unemployment, stress, alcoholism & isolation from other adults

10. Discuss the article with a neighbor • How is spanking viewed between differing cultures? • Does something being culturally acceptable make it right? • What do you believe about parents spanking children?

11. In reviewing the research on spanking, Alan Kazdin and Corina Benjet reach the following conclusions. 1. Frequent and harsh punishment is often associated with undesirable mental and physical health outcomes. 2. The effects of very mild, occasional spanking are not well researched. Clear conclusions cannot be reached from the available studies. 3. Caution against the use of spanking is advised because nonaversive alternatives for achieving the same disciplinary goals are available. In addition, the line between mild spanking and severe corporal punishment that is known to be dangerous has not been empirically established. Finally, mild spanking can readily escalate into more severe hitting.

12. Self-Esteem: is the value or worth that people attach to themselves • Young people who are securely attached to their parents are more likely to have higher self-esteem • Conditional Positive Disregard: describes relationships in which parents show love only when the child behaves in a certain acceptable way –resulting in that child having lower self-esteem

13. Between ages 5-7 children begin to associate their self-esteem with their physical appearance and performance in school • Girls tend to have greater competence in reading and general academics • Boys tend to display competence in math and physical skills • Self-esteem tend to decrease over childhood and reach a low-point around age 12 to 13 • Young children generally feel that if they like themselves then others will, as well

14. Answer the question “Who Am I”? Describing yourself in 12 different ways

15. In small groups discuss the following topics… 1. your childhood nicknames or how you were referred to as children. How did you feel about these names? 2. introduce yourself to the members of their small group as you might have been introduced by your parents when you were 5 years old, 10 years old, and currently How would you have liked your parents to introduce you? 3. Imagine that you are 5 or 6 years old again and eating dinner with their family. In the course of the meal, they spill a glass of milk. How do your parents react and what are their own personal feelings and reactions? What about a bad report card? 4. Reflect on what they most wanted from their parents but did not get. Why did you not get it? this could range from “a new bike” to “love.”