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Writers’ Feedback Comparison Contrast Essay- “Last Night as I, Queen, was Shining Bright” and The Egyptian Love Songs

Observational Focus Topics for Review Writing Introductions (Organization/Ideas) -- also, accuracy of ideas; incorporating/providing textual evidence (JS format); transitional words and phrases Vocabulary/Literary Terms (Word Choice) Usage (Conventions) 1. title conventions 2. colons/semi-colons 3. run-on sentences MLA Conventions (Presentation)

First Things First:Understanding the Prompt Your task to COMPARE and CONTRAST information requires your primary focus on the developmental element of writing. There are two methods of organizing a comparison/contrast task: block and point-by-point. When using the CC method you are organizing according to logic. Association, time and space are three additional methods of organizing information.

Purpose: announce your topic, engage reader, focus their attention • Techniques: -organize from general to specific (but get there quickly) - add a TAG (title, author, genre) -add a quote, anecdote, question, strong opinion, engaging “context” Writing Introductions Consider: Purpose Techniques

Accuracy of Ideas Deductive Reasoning Inductive Reasoning Some dictionaries define “deduction” as reasoning from the general to specific…http://youtu.be/X8xxtygm_xM and “induction” as reasoning from the specific to the general.

Adding Details/Specifics (CD) & Integrating Evidence Remember the Jane Schaffer format as a crutch: <Topic Sentence (subject + opinion), Concrete Detail, Commentary, Commentary> Concrete Detail for most close reading prompts will be best provided from direct quotes—properly integrated textual evidence. Summary and paraphrase are acceptable, but often lead to lacking specificity– too much generalization that could come from any quick glance at the piece, but not a close read.

Transitional Words and Phrases Accurate use of these is an organizational as well as word choice (diction) element. Selecting the best possible transition helps support/clarify meaning and makes paragraphs/ideas flow. Use to signal : Sequence (again, also, too…) Time (afterward, before, earlier, lately…) Comparison (again, also…) Contrast (although, instead, however, still, yet…) Examples (in fact, after all, indeed…) Cause and effect (accordingly, because, consequently, to this end…) Place (above, beyond, elsewhere, there…) Concession (although it is true, granted that, admittedly, it may appear…) Summary, repetition or conclusion (as a result, in short, therefore…)

Describing Language: formal discourse removes first person and contractions, as well as slang and colloquial language • Literary Vocabulary/Specificity: avoid the words “thing,” “ lots,” “stuff,” “nice,” “kind of”– you get the idea. Instead, concretely name the “thing”; describe the qualities that make the subject “nice.” Word Choice/Diction Consider: Levels of formality Literary vocabulary

Conventions/Presentation-Indicating Works’ Titles Poems’ titles are set inside quotation marks Short story titles are also set inside quotation marks– as are articles, essays, songs, sections of books, and episodes of television and radio programs Book titles—or titles of longer works– magazine(periodicals), movies, and television series are underlined in handwritten composition, italicized in word processed text Generally speaking: use italics for long works, quotation marks for shorter works

Conventions-Mechanics: Use of Colons Use of Semi-colons

Sentence Fluency/Editing for Run-On Sentences Independent Clauses Error Type Contain subject and verb Can stand alone Also known as sentences Should be properly punctuated by adding semi-colons or a comma with a coordinating conjunction; you can also recast them into separate sentences, or eliminate unnecessary words and combine/recast them into independent/dependent clause relationships Comma splice vs. fused sentence(s) I got up feeling bad, I feel even worse now. A large part of my mail is advertisements, most of the rest is bills. I should pay my tuition I need a new car.

Modern Language Association (MLA)Style Basic construction of an MLA formatted essay

Your Post-Writing Task: Review your essay and track which errors and where in your essay they are located. Make the correction for that error only (do not rewrite your essay). Steps: Label each paragraph of your essay. Label each paragraph’s sentence with an a.) b.) etc. Copy the paragraph number and sentence with errors in order of appearance on the “error tracking log”. For example 1.c.) would indicate that sentence 3 of paragraph 1 contained an error. Explain the error. For example, 1c.) might be a fused sentence. Write-out a revision based on the rules and tips provided during the class review in the third column.

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