Nurturing Relationships

1. Nurturing Relationships Healthy and positive human growth and development depend on nurturing relationships.

2. There are 3 qualities of an effective nurturing caregiver: • Provide Comfort • Engage in Play • Teach and Guide

3. Provide Comfort Children can become frustrated, anxious, or overwhelmed as they develop. Parents should: Acknowledge their discomfort Offer an appropriate response Examples: rocking a crying baby, offer calm words to an older child

4. Engage in Play • Play exercises a growing body and mind while providing a way to express emotions, develop social abilities, and explore moral thinking. • Parents who play with their child: • Contribute to their development • Strengthens the parent-child relationship

5. Teach and Guide • Teaching provides children with the knowledge they need to accomplish important tasks at each developmental stage. • Parental teaching of skills, knowledge, and attitudes moves children along in their development.

6. As children grow older, the nature of comforting, playing, and teaching changes to remain appropriate for the child’s needs.

7. Group Work Activity • Divide yourself into groups of 2 or 3. • When you have a group, have one member come get your supplies for this activity from Mrs. Shipp. • You will need a piece of Scrap paper and 3 markers.

8. Your Task • Using your assigned age group, come up with at least THREE examples for each quality of an effective nurturing caregiver. • Provide Comfort • Engage in Play • Teach and Guide 0-2 3-5 6-9 10-13 Be prepared to share your work!

9. Attachment Cycles Understanding healthy and unhealthy attachment

10. Attachment • A close and affectionate bond between an infant and caregiver (parent, sibling, grandparent, aunt, guardian) … the primary caregiver is typically the mother (why?) … is necessary for newborn survival ... is a reciprocal relationship necessary for healthy human development ... fathers may also form strong attachments when they are highly involved with their children (i.e. skin to skin)

11. In the early years of life, children must learn to go through healthy attachment cycles through behaviours exhibited by their caregivers. • Children with poor attachment behaviours are reacting to events in their early lives that may have included neglect or abuse. • Due to these events, many children are unable to attach to a primary caregiver or go through normal development in order to function in future relationships.

12. Healthy Attachment Cycle

13. To summarize… • When a baby has a need and signals that need by crying, the caregiver comes and soothes the baby – meeting its needs • When this is repeated consistently, the baby learns to trust and develops appropriately

14. Unhealthy Attachment Cycle

15. To summarize… • When baby’s needs are not met or are met inconsistently/ inappropriately, the baby does not learn to trust. • This may also happen if the caregivers are inconsistent/ unfamiliar with the baby. This may confuse the baby. • The baby learns that the world is an unsafe place.

16. Healthy Attachment means… • infants are able to quickly advance in all areas of development, but especially in verbal development and learning • sleeping and eating disorders are less common • children can handle their emotions better • Parents are less likely to abuse their children • a positive/healthy template for future intimate relationships • a basis for good mental health is established

17. Failure to Thrive • An inability to grow or develop due to neglect on the part of the caregivers ... during the Second World War, orphaned babies in hospitals turned their heads to the wall and died in spite of being fed and changed. ... however, in cases where a nurse/caregiver lifted children out of their cribs, and held them, even briefly, the infants did much better - they gained weight and reached developmental milestones.

18. Attachment Theorists • Mary Ainsworth • Harry Harlow • John Bowlby

19. Mary Ainsworth • b.1913 – d.1999 • American-Canadian developmental psychologist • Did a lot of early research around emotional attachment • Known for her work associated with “The Strange Situation” and her work in the development of the Attachment Theory.

20. Harry Harlow • b.1905 – d. 1981 • American psychologist • Researched maternal-separation and social isolation • He conducted experiments using monkeys which demonstrated the importance of caregiving and companionship in development.

21. John Bowlby • b.1907 – d.1990 • Was Ainsworth’s teacher • British psychologist, psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst • Recognized for his interest in child development and his early work in Attachment Theory

22. Mary Ainsworth • Found that healthy relationships were related to the level of responsiveness that moms showed towards their infants at a very young age • Created the “Strange Situation” experiment

23. “Strange Situation” • http://vimeo.com/35093357 • A situation that tests individual differences in infants’ reactions to separations and reunions with their moms. • An observer takes a mother and 1 year old child to an unfamiliar room containing toys and then makes the mom leave and come back several times (one-way mirror).

24. Types of Reactions to Mom’s Return • SECURE - the child is distressed by mom’s departure and easily soothed by her on her return • AVOIDANT - the child is not distressed when mom leaves and avoids or turns away from her on return • ANXIOUS - the child stays extremely close to mom during the first few minutes and becomes highly distressed when she leaves. When she comes back, she seeks comfort and distance (simultaneously) from mom. She cries and reaches to be held and then tries to leave when she is picked up.

25. What is your attachment type? • A. I find it relatively easy to get close to other people. I am comfortable depending on other people and having them depend on me. I don’t usually worry about being abandoned or about having someone get too close to me. • B. I find it difficult to trust people completely. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I feel nervous when people start to get too close. Often, I feel like people want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being. I find it difficult to allow myself to depend on other people. • C.I find that other people are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that someone I am close to doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this sometimes scares people away. Adapted from: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511-524.

26. Your attachment type is... • A.Secure – Around half of adults have a secure attachment type. People with secure attachment types are likely to believe in romantic love which, although it might fizzle over the course of a relationship, can also remain very intense, as good as it was at the start.

27. Your attachment type is... • B.Avoidant- A quarter of adults have an avoidant attachment type. They are more likely to believe that romantic love doesn’t really exist, and that love doesn’t last forever. They tend to find it hard to find someone they can really fall in love with.

28. Your attachment type is... • C.Anxious- About a quarter of adults have an anxious attachment type. They are more likely to believe that romantic love doesn’t really exist, and that love doesn’t last forever. They find it harder (than secure types) to find someone they can love. They are more likely to fall in and out of love more often than secure or avoidant types.

29. Article: “Soothing Stranger Anxiety” • Read through the article and answer the three questions at the bottom of the article. • What is stranger anxiety? • At what age does this typically occur? • What tips would you give a parent to help ease stranger anxiety?

30. ANSWER # 1 Stranger Anxiety is… • Distress and concern when faced with a person who is not familiar to them. • Possible behaviours: pouting, acting worried, crying, burying their heads in fear or disinterest

31. ANSWER # 2 • Stranger anxiety typically occurs between 6 months and 2 years of age.

32. ANSWER # 3 Ways to deal with Stranger Anxiety in new situations… • Ensure they have their favourite blanket/toy • Let the “stranger” know their routine (including special songs or books they read before naptime) • Encourage the “stranger” to hold your baby a lot at the beginning • Act very warm and friendly with the teacher – child may model the behaviour

33. Harry Harlow • Studied rhesus monkeys to see what would happen if they were separated from their mothers at an early age. • His research was conducted in the 1960’s.

34. What do you turn to when you are scared or upset? l l l l l l l l l l l l

35. Experimental Conditions • Two “mother monkeys” were provided for the baby rhesus monkeys. 1) A wire framed like a “mother” monkey which held a bottle. 2) A wire framed like a “mother” covered with cloth and had no bottle. http://vimeo.com/45085426

36. Conclusions • The young monkeys would feed from the bottle when hungry, but cuddled up with the fabric one for comfort, or clung to the cloth mother when frightened. • Monkeys who did not have the cloth-covered mother failed to grow (failure to thrive), even though food was available.

37. Therefore, his studies show the importance of touch and contact for the survival and growth of infants.

38. Consider what we have learned about so far this unit. Reflect on your own upbringing and current relationships. • Describe the type of attachment you exhibit. • Why do you feel you are like this? • How does this affect your current relationships with peers, significant others, and/or parents? • What will you do the same and/or differently if you become a parent to promote healthy attachment behaviours. Rapid Writing Exercise Answer the following question in your notes in a journal response. Don’t stop writing until Mrs. Shipp stops you!

39. JohnBowlby • Separation Behaviour http://video.about.com/psychology/Who-Is-John-Bowlby-.htm

40. His Research • Conducted his studies in the 1960’s and 1970’s on children. • He found that children exhibit “attachment behaviours” and adults respond accordingly. • “Attachment behaviours” • Smiling • Clinging • Grabbing

41. These behaviours in children elicit responses from adults. • Touching • Holding • Soothing • Talking • In turn, this encourages these behaviours in the child. • This is called the feedback circuit.

42. Feedback Circuit • This interplay of attachment gives children security to move forward in their development. Smiling Touching or Holding Smiling

43. Separation • When the children in Ainsworth’s research were separated from their mothers, how did they react? • Bowlby looked at children between 8 months and 3 years who were separated from their caregivers. • He found that they went through THREESTAGES OFSEPARATION BEHAVIOUR. • What might these behaviours be?

44. Stage 1: PROTEST • ___________: crying, searching for caregiver, throwing a tantrum PROTEST

45. Stage 2: DESPAIR • __________: the child becomes very quiet (loss of hope) DESPAIR

46. Stage 3: DETACHMENT • _______________: the child withdraws as though cut off from the world • Securely attached children: are able to move beyond the detachment stage and become more active and interactive. • Less secure children: may go so far as to withdraw by crawling under a table. DETACHMENT

47. Think – Pair – Share Brainstorm ways that parents can reconnect with their children after they pick them up from child care, nursery school, or a weekend visit with relatives.

48. Nature vs. Nurture why we are who we are

49. Group Work Form a group of 3-4 people and assign one person as the recorder/presenter, and two or three contributors. Brainstorm “What determines your likes, dislikes, and personality characteristics.”

50. Something to think about… Imagine being locked in a room since birth and rarely seeing other people or daylight. How do you think you would turn out?