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Do you need a Sub?

Do you need a Sub?. A guide for determining your readiness to face a classroom full of smiling kids ready to make you regret toughing it out. 100% “I feel GREAT!”. Symptoms: None Energy Level: High Overall Heath: Excellent Do you need a sub? No (Unless you want to continue to feel great).

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Do you need a Sub?

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  1. Do you need a Sub? A guide for determining your readiness to face a classroom full of smiling kids ready to make you regret toughing it out.

  2. 100%“I feel GREAT!” • Symptoms: None • Energy Level: High • Overall Heath: Excellent • Do you need a sub? No (Unless you want to continue to feel great)

  3. 90%“I feel fine” • Symptoms: Tiredness • Energy Level: Moderate-High • Overall Heath: Good-Excellent • Do you need a sub? No

  4. 80%“I’m hanging in there” • Symptoms: Sensation of being “pooped” • Energy Level: Moderate • Overall Heath: Good • Do you need a sub? No

  5. 70%“I’m a little under the weather” • Symptoms: Scratchy throat, headache, and/or sniffles • Energy Level: Low-Moderate • Overall Heath: Fair-Good • Do you need a sub? No

  6. 60%“I feel icky” • Symptoms: Cold-like, headache, soreness • Energy Level: Low • Overall Heath: Fair • Do you need a sub? No

  7. 50%“I’m sick” • Symptoms: Cold/Flu-like, “need to stay in bed for a while” • Energy Level: Low • Overall Heath: Weak • Do you need a sub? No

  8. 40%“I’d better see a doctor soon” • Symptoms: Fever, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, starting to bargain with God • Energy Level: Very Low • Overall Heath: Poor • Do you need a sub? No

  9. 30%“Call an ambulance!” • Symptoms: High fever, broken bones (the important ones), explosive diarrhea, projectile vomiting, preference for death • Energy Level: Zero • Overall Heath: Bad and Deteriorating Fast • Do you need a sub? No

  10. 20%“Please pass the bedpan” • Symptoms: Wishing for Death, no longer worried about what insurance might cover • Energy Level: Zero-minus • Overall Heath: Terrible • Do you need a sub? Yes—but only if you have not already used your 2 days.

  11. 10%(Unconscious) • Systems: Resting peacefully, machine-assisted • Energy Level: None • Overall Heath: Critical • Do you need a sub? Yes!

  12. 0%(Dead) • Symptoms: ---- • Energy Level: ---- • Overall Heath: ---- • Do you need a sub? No

  13. Conclusion • As you can tell, there is rarely any reason that you would ever truly need a sub. • If you think you are nearing the magical 20% threshold, take some Advil and drink some OJ and see if you can get to 30%. • It’s really important that you come to school if at all possible. We need that sub money to buy more laptops. • Thanks for all you do!!

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