Parents R 4-Ever Session 3 Cooperative Co-Parenting
Relationships Between Parents • Perfect Pals • Cooperative Colleagues • Angry Associates • Fiery Foes • Dissolved Duos
Benefits Of Cooperative Co-Parenting • Children benefit from having a positive and supportive relationship with both parents. • Cooperative parenting reduces the levels of stress that echo throughout the entire family. . • The absence of communication between parents or the presence of conflicting communication hurts the child placing him or her in the middle.
Typical Sources of Conflict Money Religious/values education Holidays Visitation Discipline Medical Issues Education and/or career Recreation (sports, hobbies)
Handling Conflict ACKNOWLEDGE: Acknowledge conflict to each other SET A TIME: Both must set a time to discuss the matter DESCRIBE YOUR POSITION: Each person should speak for themselves; describe conflict from your side. STATE OTHER PERSON POSITION: Each person in turn describes the other person's position and feelings.
Handling Conflict LIST OPTIONS: After all have agreed that they understand the other, list all options for solutions. MAKE REVISIONS: Revise both lists and find something to agree to try. DO THE SOLUTION: Both need to try the solution. Agree on time to discuss later.
Effective Communication • Being open honest, yet kind. • Listening carefully, without distraction. • Checking the meaning of messages which are not clear. • Avoiding 'mind reading'. • Walking a mile in the other person's shoes.
Effective Communication • Trusting one another. • Avoiding criticizing, evaluating, and acting superior. • Dealing with one issue at a time. • Dealing with specifics rather than generalities. • Attacking the problem, not each other. • Having an understanding attitude.
Guidelines to Quality Shared Time • Being Consistent • Going Between Households • Rebuilding Trust • Sharing And Participating in Activities • Solving Problems
Summary As the family makes the transition to a "divorced family," the amount of change will be significant. Since a certain amount of stress is unavoidable, parents need to work quickly to reorganize routines and practices in order to provide continuity, security, and stability for children.A healthy divorced family is one in which boundaries are clearly separated between spousal (non-parental) roles and parental roles. By working with each other as "co-parents" divorced parents can provide what their children need with as little added distress as possible.
We have discussed what types of co-parenting relationships parents have, what causes conflicts and some techniques to deal with it, also effective communication skills to help parents make good decisions for their children. We discussed and identified issues for share parenting........ now its your turn to think about what you as a co-parent need to do to help make the separation or divorce healthier for your child and your family.