Communication

1. Communication

2. Communication • What is communication? • How would you define communication? • Look at the word itself: Communion - action • So it is an action, doing something that brings union, togetherness

3. Communication • Communication is essential to every form of life. • Look at your body – it is a living communication of billions of cells. • Without that communication (and relationship) our human body would not be able to function.

4. Communication • As our biological body cannot survive without communication, so our psychological and spiritual well being depends on communicating. • From the very beginning of our life we inter into relationships (mothers, fathers, children, wives husbands, friends and enemies…) • The problem is that when communication breaks down, relationships break down. (P. 163)

5. Communication • Communication is essential to our human identity. • Look at the word “person.” One of the possible meanings of this word comes from the Latin per – suono : through sound. • Communication then is a natural activity of a human person

6. Communication • Communication is necessary in order to build relationships; relationships are necessary in order to live a meaningful life. • What can enhance our communication skills and thus the quality of our relationships?

7. ATTITUDES • AVENUES • Ease the passage of information, feelings and opinions • ROADBLOCKS • Barriers that make communication nearly impossible

8. Communication • Trustvs. Self-protection • Trust is a basic attitude of openness. Yes, it involves risk; but life itself requires the willingness to take risk • Self-protection involves the lack of openness toward others. It is based either on fear or unwillingness to share one’s life with others

9. Communication • Hopevs. a Win-Lose Attitude • Hope – with the spirit of hope we look at communication as an adventure and a possibility to discover something new • With a win-lose attitude, it is more important to be right than to understand and relate

10. Communication • Acceptancevs.Stereotyping and Judging • Acceptance requires that we take people as they are. We do not need to like all their attitudes or ideas, but we do need to respect their right to be different • Stereotyping and judging are the tendencies to put people into “boxes” denying their originality and individuality

11. Questions 1. What is communication, and why is it important to us? 2. How can poor communication threaten humanity’s welfare? How can good communication foster it? Give examples. 3. Think twice before you speak, especially if you intend to say what you think. Describe the meaning of the statement.

12. Body Language • Generally speaking, there are three ways of communicating: • Body language • Listening • Verbal language

13. Body Language • Body language is an important part of communication. • Between 50-80 percent of what is communicated is expressed through body language. • A wink, a hug, looking away from the speaker, all of those indicate certain forms of communicating without ‘speaking’.

14. Body Language • Body language goes both ways: • Your own body language reveals your feelings and meanings to others. • Other people's body language reveals their feelings and meanings to you. • The sending and receiving of body language signals happens on conscious and unconscious levels.

15. Body Language • The six universal facial expression • The following basic human emotions are generally used, recognized, and part of humankind's genetic character: • Happiness • Sadness • Fear • Disgust • Surprise • Anger

16. Body Language Context • Someone rubbing their eye might have an irritation, rather than being tired - or disbelieving, or upset. Age and gender • Young men for example often display a lot of pronounced gestures because they are naturally energetic, uninhibited and supple. Older women, relatively, are less energetic, adopt more modest postures, and are prevented by clothing and upbringing from exhibiting very pronounced gestures.

17. Body Language Culture ethnicity • People in India may to shake their head from side to side as a sign of agreement and active listening. In the west we tend to nod our head to agree and affirm and to show we are listening; • In some Australian Aboriginal cultures, it is disrespectful to look an elder in the eyes. • In Arab countries the thumbs-up gesture is rude. • The American-style 'OK' sign - a circle made with thumb and index-finger with other fingers fanned or outstretched - is a rude gesture in some cultures, notably Latin America, Germany and the Middle East.

18. Body Language • The importance of the body language in the communicating process demands from us to become more conscious of the message we communicate • Body language is important because people tend to believe these nonverbal messages more readily than verbal messages

19. Body Language • What we need here is integrity in communication • We may find ourselves saying one thing with our words and another with our body • Our body language tips us off as to what we are truly feeling

20. Body Language • Body language and the human need for touch • Most human beings of all ages need physical affection • Yet cultures very widely in their norms; in North America, a man and an woman walking together holding hands are consider acceptable, but two men or women walking this way might be suspect. In other cultures, the opposite is true

21. Body Language • As any kind of body language, touching can be misunderstood • To minimize the possibility of misunderstanding, a simple rule could be followed: • Touch to give, not to get

22. Listening • Listening may be overlooked as body language • We are not accustomed to fine-tuning our listening • Listening is much more than the absence of speech

23. Guides for Listening • Quiet your own speech and be attentive • Communicate an open attitude with your body language • Stay in eye contact • Avoid assuming anything about what the other person will say

24. Guides for Listening cont’d. • Give signals that you are listening • Help by summarizing occasionally • Ask clarifying questions • Check your perceptions of the speaker’s body language • Let the person know if you cannot listen at the time • Poem P. 174

25. Verbal Language • Self- disclosure • Intimate relationships grow when there is a gradual sharing of facts & feelings • We have to trust the other person with our personal information • Sharing feelings (both painful and joyful) with a friend not only builds the friendship but also enables us to experience the richness of life • Watch who you share with! Do not ope open up to everyone! (Quote p. 176)

26. Confidentiality • Maintain the privacy of conversation with others • Professionals have a code of confidentiality • Self-disclosure and confidentiality form the soul of friendship

27. “You” Messages • A comment that we make to another person that implies a negative judgment of that person • These messages are designed to annoy or anger • You did that wrong. You don’t get it.

28. “I” Messages • Tell people this is the way “I” feel, think and see things • State observations, feelings, thoughts and wishes • P. 178 dialog • It allows the other person to offer explanations

29. Assertiveness, Aggressiveness & Nonassertiveness • Assertiveness – respecting others but voicing your feelings • Aggressiveness – an attempt to dominate others

30. Assertiveness, Aggressiveness & Nonassertiveness cont’d. • Nonassertiveness – people devalue themselves by believing their feelings, ideas and wants are not worthwhile

31. Healthy Communicating • State in specific terms what you want to say • Do not apologize for what you say & do • Make specific requests • Listen

32. Setting and Respecting Personal Boundaries • Personal boundary – it separates us from others/ where the other person “ends” and we “begin” • A person with good boundaries is not easily manipulated • We should also respect the dignity of others (p. 181)

33. Handling Conflicts • Conflicts can be handled in a way that minimizes anger and hurt • Anger is natural but becomes a problem when it escalates to violence • We shouldn’t swallow it, stifle it, or suppress anger. (p. 182)

34. Ways to Handle Anger • St. Paul’s advice for anger; “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil” (4:26-27) • The Golden Rule

35. Problem-solving Approach • 1. State the problem clearly • 2. Brainstorm for solutions • 3. Evaluate carefully each proposed solution and choose one • 4.Let go of the outcome outcome